Question:
How can I explain that I know what I'm doing?

I went home for Thanksgiving and had a hard time with my family. They support me 100% but every time I turned around, got a drink, or went to eat at least one person if not more said "Dont eat too much" "Don't make yourself sick" "Be Careful" or something to that effect. I'm a little over 2 months post-op Open RNY and know how I'm supposed to be eating. I eat 6x a day which is what my surgeon has told me to do, I eat mostly protein which is what my surgeon told me to do. How do you explain that this is for real and this time you are going to do it? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.    — Rebekah A. (posted on December 3, 2002)

December 3, 2002
LOL Vicki! That thought has crossed my mind a few times. <p> I would say something along the lines of "Thank you for your concern. I'm under my physician's care." But since I know what a pain my family can be, it might not come out quite that diplomatically. ;o)
   — Jennifer A.

December 3, 2002
Okay, everyone else is lots nicer than me, I guess! I, being the sarcastic soul that I am, would probably say something along the lines of "Heck, no, I plan on eating everything on the table so I can go hang over the toilet and puke my toenails up.................I enjoy it SO MUCH!" Seriously, I know it has to be hard but just be like a duck and let it roll off your back. YOU know you are doing what you are supposed to! Good luck! Carolyn 5 mo post lap rny and 18# from goal!
   — Carolyn I.

December 3, 2002
Aren't they cute when they try to help? At least they do it because they love you! My family & friends kept trying to protect me, too. I finally learned to just smile warmly (I mean, they love me, right?) and say THANK YOU! And go ahead & do what I had to do. I still have people trying to help me with my supplements and food choices, even after 8 yrs. They mean well. (they drive me NUTS!) People will say, "Oh, but you can't have this (thing with fat)" Instead of my standard I-don't-avoid-fats-I-avoid-sugars answer, I just thank them for their concern. Unless I'm having a bad day, then I say, "I can't?!?! Is it illegal?" As long as I live, "they" will always think they know "better", even though they can see that whatever wacky thing I am doing is working (just fine, thank you). Human nature.
   — vitalady

December 3, 2002
My family did just the opposite over Thanksgiving. My mom followed me arround telling me to eat more. Everyone is used to seeing me down two or three plates, and can't figure out the one small plate. Now they are worried that I am not going to stop losing weight. I keep telling them that my body will stop losing when I get to a healthy weight but they don't believe me.
   — Linda A.

December 3, 2002
Sadly, I think a lot of us just need to let that kind of stuff go in one ear and out the other. I have a family member that thinks she is the expert of any medical issue on the planet, so she is very "helpful" with advice. Everytime she makes a helpful comment I just say, "Thanks. I am doing great!" and then give myself a point. Then when I get 10 points I get to buy myself a treat, like a new skirt in a size I could never wear before or a good book. Make your own reward system and it is a nice distraction! It would be fun to tell these people off, but what would be the point in all the hurt feelings. We are all typically the kind of people who would end up feeling all the guilt about it anyway! Good Luck! (and by now you probably get to have at least one new outfit from EBay!) -Shelli (8 months post op RNY, -95 pounds... 40 to go! ;)
   — kultgirl

December 4, 2002
I love Shelli's comment. Wonderful advice! Definitely nodding and smiling works the best. They're just trying to help - even when they're being a royal pain in the arse...Took me years to learn to do that with my mom and my MIL. They offered advice and I used to combat it. Then I figured what the heck...smile, say thanks and go on about my business. Everyone was much happier!
   — [Deactivated Member]