Question:
Did you have the surgery without tell your friends or relatives? What happen?
Has anyone gone threw the procedure without informing friends and/or relatives. In fear that they may try to talk you out of it. If so, What happen? — D. Cornell L. (posted on February 19, 2003)
February 18, 2003
Of course, my husband and children knew about the surgery beforehand. I
did not tell many others (including my siblings and some close friends)
until afterwards. I knew no one would talk me out of it, but I did not
want a lot of negative words and attitudes filling the air and interfering
with the peace and positivity with which I was surrounded.
— ZaZa F.
February 18, 2003
My mother had gastric bypass surgery in 5/78 and died the next day from a
blood clot. I decided in 12/01 to have the RNY, which I did on 3/6/02. My
daughters knew I was having the surgery and supported me in my decision
(they are 21 and 23). I did not tell my siblings or my father because I
knew they would worry and be against it. I told them 2 weeks after the
surgery. They were not mad since I was okay--they understood why I didn't
tell them and they admitted they would have been against it and tried to
talk me out of it. They are very happy for me now. I have lost about 136
lbs.
— jan M.
February 18, 2003
My father had the surgery and only told his friend who was taking him
there. He said that he didn't tell us kids because we all live out of
state and he didn't want to worry us.
— Beffy W.
February 18, 2003
My husband knew of course but no one else in my family knows, even 10
months later. Most are out of state and dont see me that often, but are
aware I'm losing weight. No one questions it since I have lost large
amounts of weight in the past. I chose not to tell beacuse fear of critism
and that fact my mother still calls me to see how my weights doing. Bottom
line you're doing this for yourself you do need support but you can do with
out negativity.
— Laurie B.
February 18, 2003
Hi, I told everyone at work, but, no one of my family except my mon, sister
and husband. I was at the shore with all my cousin and family the week
prior and wouldn't see all of them again till this August when I am one yr
post op, I will have some explaining to do. I did see a bunch of them at
my sister's 30th bday in Jan, I was down 75lbs at the time, they all said I
looked great but really didn't question anything. Weight is a sensitive
issue for all people and sometimes don't say anything when you gain or
lose! However, I was 305 and this AUgust I hope to be 150, so, I may have
alot to say seeing I will be half the person!
— heathercross
February 18, 2003
There are only 3 people that know and I am over 2 years post op-myself, my
husband and my mother. I wanted to keep this private. I did and I do not
regret MY decision in the least. It is what was best for me. I applaud
those who shout it from the rooftops, but that is just not me. Shelley
— Shelley.
February 18, 2003
I only told four people before surgery. My Hubby, Mom, and two best
friends. I wanted to keep this a positive experience which it did. I felt
that other family members out of jealousy, or just ignorance would put a
negative cloud over my very positive decision. Plus I am 1100 miles away
from all of them, and only see them every six months. They all think I had
a hernia surgery and my gall bladder out which is not a total lie. Thats my
story and I am sticking to it, and they all bought it. I felt it was what
I had to do to keep this positive for me. My profile explains further if
you want to check it out. Hope this helps. Hugs and smiles...
— MnShadows
February 19, 2003
Only my husband and my mom knew about the surgery. I told my kids (who were
12, 8, and 6 at the time) that I was having my gall bladder out. This is
also what I told co-workers and some family members. I knew I would get
negative comments from family members and I am a pretty private person at
work. This is what worked best for me.
— Maureen P.
February 19, 2003
I guess I was sorta lucky, because my brother had his surgery over a year
before me, and I was one of those negative people, I guess I just didn't
know then what I know now. But because of knowing I had all the family
support, I felt more confident telling others, and I did get alot more
negative feedback there. But they are all whistling a new tune now!! I'm
am so happy that I did this for me, that I'm not afraid to tell anyone. My
thought is that we have alot of competition out there telling everyone how
horrible it is, and for some it is. But I feel that the more people that
get educated about this the better it is for everyone. Your decision to
remain private is probably best.... for now. Some day you'll want to shout
from the rooftop! Good luck!!!
— Dana B.
February 19, 2003
I had my surgery on 1-3-03 and till this day the only people that know are
my mom, dad, hubby (of course) and my 2 best girlfriends. I chose not to
tell my siblings or any other members of my family, and of course all the
people in my support group know.I just don't think it's anyone elses
business!!Just remember you can't "untell people" But again, you
have to do what you think is right for you. I just got so tired of people
in general saying that this surgery is the easy way out.(which is
crap!!)It's the most difficult thing that I've ever done, and as much as I
thought I was prepared for life after surgery, each day is a constant
struggle.
— Dorothy B.
February 19, 2003
I am single with no "close" friends and at this time I do not
intend on telling ANYONE. My family is in the medical field and I know
that they wouldn't support me with this.
I know this is odd but I even had to pick a doctor that was out of town in
hopes that they wouldn't know anyone in my family. I plan on taking a cab
to the bus station (both ways). I also have pets that I will need to put
in a kennel. :::sigh::: This is probably the hardest.. it would be so
much easier if I had some help.
— SJP
February 19, 2003
I began this process in December and so far the ONLY people that know are
my Husband and my immediate supervisor (the only reason I told her was due
to missing work for various testing I needed to have done, she was very
understanding as she has some weight issues herself). However, my father
had VBG done last year and has lost 125 lbs so far. I have every intention
of telling my parents, but I don't plan to tell them until I have a surgery
date. Mainly because I don't want them calling me everyday to find out if
I know anything yet. I don't think they will be opposed to the surgery, I
am just not ready to tell them. As for the rest of my co-workers, I will
never tell them as it is none of their business and I have no intentions of
telling any of them, even the ones I consider friends.
— Dawn P.
February 19, 2003
I have told many I am having surgery in the coming months. Now I wish I
hadn't. I have only had a few negative comments so far but mostly people
just get "silent". It is almost as bad as hearing negative
comments. I know some people will be jealous, some will be happy and others
will just be amazed. ***grins At least DH and mom are behind me on this, as
well as my children but they are young and cant wait for me to play with
them again. Good luck with what ever you decide.
— TheresaC
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