Question:
What did you and/or how did tell your employer and co-workers?
That you will be out of the office for several weeks and Why? — D. Cornell L. (posted on February 6, 2003)
February 6, 2003
I'm hoping to have the surgery this summer. I am not telling anyone other
than my immediate manager. I am praying for a successful, uneventful lap
surgery and will return to work in two weeks. As far as anybody knowing
anything, they'll just assume I'm on vacation. However, if there are
complications, my manager and I have decided we'd say I had to have an
emergency surgery on something - we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
— Michelle P.
February 6, 2003
Hi well for the open RYN I told them I was going in for gall bladder
surgery, (LOL) I was out on sick leave for a total of 5 weeks, I know I
could have gone back to work sooner, how-ever Ihave a sit down job, and
wanted to keep active, keep the blood flowing and not have any
complications. I did how-ever curse myself by telling them it was my gall
bladder just recently I have my gall bladder removed (less then 2 weeks
ago) that's why I'm lol,
I think if I had to do it over again, I would have not told them at all and
left it at that. Or better yet just tell them vaguely that you're going in
for abdominal surgery and leave it at that.
Best of luck,
Post op 8 months down 115 pounds
— tannedtigress
February 6, 2003
I told everyone that I was having surgery, but provided no details, not
even to my boss. When I cam back 5 weeks later, I told people what type of
surgery I had when asked.
Good luck!
— Barbara M.
February 6, 2003
As far as my manager goes..I went into his office and said "On 8/7/02
I am having gastric bypass surgery, so I will need about 5 weeks off"
and he said "ok, lets get you set up for short term disability, and
let me know if you need anything else" and that was it! With my
co-workers I told them the same thing and they STILL ask me questions all
the time, like "can you eat ____?" or "what happens if you
eat ___?" But I have never gotten a negative comment from anyone. I am
a very open person, so I do not mind if people ask me questions all the
time. But if you are easily offended or a private person, I would only tell
who you have to. :o)
— fropunka
February 6, 2003
I told my boss that I was having surgery and needed time off. That was it.
From what I understand, legally, they can't ask you details. I just
didn't want to face any possible negativity. But anyway, he said later
that since I didn't tell him what for he assumed it was a 'female' thing!
When I came back, I told everyone (I work with all men - I am the only
woman) and they were all very supportive. And now ask me about what I eat
and how I am doing. It's going to trip them out when I show up in a skirt
next week. I have only ever worn jeans the entire 3 years I have been
here!
— salymsmommy
February 6, 2003
I told them the full truth - even before I had my initial consultation.
When I made my appointment for my initial consult (which wouldn't be for 6
months after my phone call), I told my managers and co-workers that I would
be having gastric bypass surgery at some point in 2002 - most likely in the
summmer. I am a Systems Engineer for Siemens Health Services and we
travel quite a bit in our work, so the advance knowledge was welcome to my
manager.
<p>
As the time grew closer and I got a date, my manager was the 2nd person
that I notified after my better half (I was on the way to Albany, NY for
work when I got paged by the surgeon's office).
<p>
My managers (I got a new one recently) and co-workers have been kind and
supportive throughout the whole pre-op and post-op experience. Each time I
talk to them (we all work remotely), they ask how I am feeling and how the
weight loss is going...JR (open RNY 07/17 -151 pounds)
— John Rushton
February 6, 2003
Its your decision what you will share with the boss and the co-workers.
All you have to tell your boss is that you will be out for surgery and for
how long. Be careful who you share the truth with, though. Grapevines are
alive and well at offices, so if you tell one, you may be telling alot
more. OK, if thats what you want.
— Cindy R.
February 6, 2003
I told my supervisors and principal. They are all very supportive. I
don't know how I could have kept it totally confidential. The disability
form asks for info on the disability. I don't think I could have gotten
around it.
— Fixnmyself
February 6, 2003
Before my surgery in October 2002, I only told 3 people who I knew I could
trust. I am a private person and I really wanted to tell them so they
wouldn't worry and I was excited and wanted to share. Nobody asked me
straight out what kind of surgery I had. I have only told one additional
person, who I also felt I could trust, since I've been back to work. These
4 people are not overweight and I feel like I've made the right decision.
They haven't said anything to anyone else. Even now, I am very picky about
who I share this with. Otherwise, I say abdominal surgery and leave it at
that. I've lost weight with a low carb, high protein diet. It's the truth!
Good luck to you.
— Yolanda J.
February 6, 2003
I'm a graduate student so I had to tell my professors and my supervisors at
my job, because I don't have sick leave. I never imagined the reaction
would be so positive. Everyone is very supportive and willing to work with
me to complete my classes and work from home. I even told my entire class
what was happening. I thought it would be best to have the information come
from me so that rumors didn't start. I have told a lot of people and
everyone is positive and tells me of someone they know who has had the
surgery and is doing well.
— Sarahlicious
February 7, 2003
I have not kept my plans to myself at all. I have heard everything from
"you're not that big" to "aren't you scared?". Those
who know me are supportive and equally anxious for the surgery to be over
(I'm waiting on date).
The only response that really hit me negatively is one woman who
"follows" me. When I did weight watchers, she wanted me to lie
and say I lost the pamphlets to get copies for her. She wanted to copy the
books I had paid for. Now...she wants to see how much I eat so she can eat
the same amount. Personally, she's nice...but I think she really is nuts.
She just won't put herself in a position she needs any accountability
into.
Best wishes to you!!!
— Diane S.
February 7, 2003
THIS IS SAME QUESTION I ASKED. I WANTED TO TELL THE WORLD TOO THINKING THEY
WOULD BE MORE SUPPORTIVE NOT!!! I HAVE HEARD SOME THINGS THAT MADE ME
QUESTION THIS SURGERY. BUT DECIDED TO GO AHEAD ANYWAY. I HAVE HEARD THE
YOUR NOT THAT FAT LINE TOO. BUT IN REALITY YOU ARE. I BET IF YOU WASN'T
HAVING THE SURGERY THEY WOULD TELL YOU THAT YOU DIDN'T IT. I LEARNED ONLY
TO TELL THE SUPPORTIVE AND CLOSE RELATIVES AND FRIENDS. IF I COULD I WOULD
HAVE TOLD NO ONE BUT RELATIVES AND CLOSE FRIENDS.
— LUKESHA C.
February 7, 2003
When I started going to my consults, I only told my team leader and the HR
person from our group. Both were very supportive and never (as far as I
know) spoke a word to anyone else about it. Mind you, I have a very good
relationship with both of them so it really help to be able to go behind a
closed door and complain about how long it was taking and how the insurance
was changing. For the rest of my coworkers, I sent an email. I stayed late
on a Friday when I knew I was taking Monday off for pre-op testing. I sent
a short email to the entire division telling them about where I would be
and asking for their prayers and well wishes. I then had Monday off and
came back to only two days of questions before leaving. Since I've been
back, everyone has been very supportive, even people I didn't know that
well. I do feel blessed to work with a great group of people so your milage
may vary. People still ask me what I can eat and ask me about horror
stories they see on TV or the internet. I don't mind answering questions.
One person even asked if I could talk to her sister who is looking to have
the surgery. I'm glad everyone knows and I'm very glad they have all been
supportive.
— Chris P.
February 7, 2003
Gallbladder surgery - I felt that it was none of their business!
— jengrz
February 8, 2003
As soon as I knew I had a date, I contacted my supervisor. She and all my
co-workers were so supportive. They waited out the unbelievably long
pre-op wait with me. Called me at home and passed the phone around several
times, post op, and sent me cards and flowers. Nothing was too much
trouble. I am so glad I was up front about it with everyone. They even
asked me to talk to relatives who were either in need of the surgery or
contemplating it. Nothing gives greater satisfaction than being able to
help and support someone else who is in the same boat. I even helped my
husband go thru it a month after my own operation.
— Martha P.
February 10, 2003
I think it is all very personal for each person. I however didn't tell
anyone except for hubby, Mom, and two best friends. Everyone else got the
heria repair and gall bladder story. It has all worked out well so far.
However that could change at any moment. One of my best friends hubby's
can't keep his mouth shut and told three people while I was visiting. Now
after almost a year though, I don't really care who knows. I just didn't
want any added or negative pressure while I had so much to deal with
myself. Good luck with your decision. Hugs and smiles..
— MnShadows
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