Question:
Dissapointed with people I sent clothes to!
First off, I want to say that I love this site and visit it at least 3 or 4 times every day. This said, I have to tell you that I am very dissapointed with several people on this site that I sent clothes to! I asked for a refund on the last two boxes I sent because it was starting to get expensive. The last box weighed 7 lbs, contained at least 8 items and cost over $11 to mail. I've emailed the recepient (who never even said thank you) and have had no response. I'm so discouraged that I'm considering not listing any more clothes. My advise is that if someone sends you clothes from the clothing exchange be sure to send them a note or email thanking them for the clothes and if possible refund their postage. It's the least you can do for them giving you their clothes. — [Anonymous] (posted on February 9, 2001)
February 8, 2001
I am almost afaid to say it, but I agree whole heartedly. It feels good to
be able to help out people and see my used clothes go to a good cause. I
also know that if you are under a size 20 or so, you will not be finding
anything on the list. Therefore, I bought the clothes, I wore them for 2
months maybe, and then I was the one that paid for the shipping. And now, I
can't utilize the list myself. I never heard back from anyone I sent to
either. It is not cheap to ship several pounds of clothes. I am not listing
anymore for that very reason. I sent mine to the salvation army. At least I
didn't have to pay to see someone else benefit from my success.
— S S.
February 8, 2001
I hope the people feel bad when they read your post, however i don't think
they will unfortuantly people feel things are owed to them. But i do
believe what comes around goes around fortuantly for you it will be good
things. God Bless You and I think your a great person for helping others.
— angela H.
February 8, 2001
I am sorry for the way you've been treated, it is very sad that unmannored
people would do such a thing. It's really discouraging to pre-op members
like me who are looking for that kind of support. We all know the
Salvation Army never sells any plus sized clothes for the upper plus sizes
and I know I'll be flying through them with a startign weight of 478 my
first couple months are going to go rather fast, but when I hit the lower
20s it seems I'm going to end up buying clothes to wear a couple weeks or a
month or two. I have three SMALL children and clothes are usually the last
thing in my budget, but I am having surgery so I can be more of a part of
their lives. These people should be ashamed, even a thank you should have
been nice, and deffinately a refund of postage. Then if requested a
donation for the clothes. -shakes her head- But my mother brought me up
greatful..
— Elizabeth D.
February 8, 2001
I think it's terrible that people can be so selfish and ungreatful. Maybe
it would be a good practice to send these items c.o.d.? You can make the
c.o.d. to only include the shipping charges. I really hope you don't stop
with the exchange program. It benefits so many people. Good Luck!
— Kaci Campbell
February 8, 2001
I donate all of my clothes to a local women's shelter I have been
volunteering at for years. Large size women's clothing is almost never
donated, and the larger women really appreciate it. On several occasions,
I have had the privilege of seeing a homeless woman at the shelter walking
around in my clothes. It gives me a wonderful feeling inside that the
items are really being used (and very much appreciated, even if I never
receive a thank you). As we all know, large size clothing is horrendously
expensive, and being homeless on top of that only deepens the problem. In
my experience as a volunteer, I have seen this become a wider personal
hygiene issue, because if the women have no clean clothes to change into,
often they see no point to showering and taking care of themselves. It's
part of a vicious cycle. So for anyone who just can't make the clothing
exchange work for them, consider a local women's shelter.
— Paula G.
February 9, 2001
I've had some wonderful experiences on the clothing list. I probably sent
out 15 huge packages. Most people sent thanks. Many sent postage. One
person sent a gift. It gave me great pleasure to give. I've stopped
listing my clothing, partly because of the postage expense when I've not
been reimbursed. I need the money now to buy new (also ebay) clothing.
I've gone from a size 28 to a size 14, so far. Of course there is nothing
on the exchange for me anymore. I am donating to ASFC (American Friends
Service Committee) because I know that the clothing will not just be put in
a bale of rags, but will be given to women who need it. Although I don't
get personal thanks, I do get a tax deduction.
— Cecilia M.
February 9, 2001
I live in the Denver, CO area. We have a group called "Tailored
Transitions". They help women dress for job interviews and
transitioning into the work force. They are always in need of plus sizes.
This is another great way to help, if people have some decent clothes to
interview and start with, they are more likely to succeed and be able to
keep the process going. I'm still pre-op but I will probably send a lot of
my "work" clothes to them. I am grateful to everyone who's given
to others through this website and I'm very sorry it wasn't always
acknowledged.
— kcanges
February 9, 2001
First off, it is not too late for those who were negligent or lazy to make
up for their thoughtlessness. Secondly, some people have never learned
proper manners.
— Cindy H.
February 9, 2001
I had a similar yet somewhat different experience my first and only
experience with the clothing exchange. I am on the receiving end of
clothes(or hoped to be). Last December an item was listed that I was
interested in so I emailed the "lister". She seemed very helpful
and gracious. I offered to pay for shipping and promised to pass the item
on once it became too big. She declined the offer of payment and requested
my address-which I gave. I was so appreciative and thankful. Well, I have
yet to receive the item! It was described as being perfect for a Christmas
party and I was hoping to wear it to a couple. Now, don't get me wrong-I
realize that this was offered to me free of charge and she was under no
obligation to send this to me. However, if you list something and
promise/plan to send it please follow through. I waited anxiously each day
only to be terribly disappointed.
— Shelley.
February 9, 2001
During my early days at AMOS, nearly two years ago now, Ava Lee mailed me
several nice items as a gift. That was so very kind of her! I used nearly
everything she sent me and, I as shrunk out of items, passed them on to my
best friend who decided she would diet to help encourage me after surgery
(she has lost 70 lbs since last April).<br><br>A few months
ago, when I was in need of smaller sizes, I emailed someone who listed an
item on the clothing exchange, but it was no longer available. She offered
to send me some other things, though, and I have greatly appreciated it.
That person was Cecelia below. She did a tremendous job advertising about
the clothing exchange on the message board, but it just seemed no one ever
posted the smaller sizes, especially business dress. I have bought some
really nice and inexpensive new items on eBay. I also keep a check at
local consignment shops and watch Sunday sale papers, and go to
outlets.<br><br>I personally mailed over 80 lbs of clothing to
an AMOS member. These were very nice clothes, and the postage was over
$120. She agreed in advance to pay for the postage and she did. It's sad
that in a support community someone would take such advantage of another's
kindness. I don't really have a solution for the clothing exchange, but
would encourage you to try the other places I mentioned. When you're ready
to clean out your closet, have a yard sale, list them on eBay, take them to
a consingment shop, give them to a friend, or donate them to a worthy cause
like a battered women's shelter, the Red Cross, or the Salvation Army. As
present or former morbidly obese persons, we know first hand how hurtful
people can be to us. The least we can do is be kind and courteous to one
another.
— [Deactivated Member]
February 9, 2001
First, thank you Tam for the nice compliment. I am a giver, to a fault at
times, but I have learned over the years that some people have simply not
been trained in the common courtesy of saying "Thank you". But
as a "giver" the joy is in giving and knowing that what you have
done is helping another person. Please do not stop giving from the heart
just because someone does not have manners. Thankfully, those people are
in the minority from my experience. On the AMOS clothing exchange, the
giver and the receiver both need to be forthright in their ability to pay
for shipping prior to the package being sent. Then both parties have to be
trusted to keep their word.
By the way, I am down from a 26-28 to a 20 (surgery scheduled 3-28-01!) I
have mostly casual clothes (well worn) but if anyone needs anything, feel
free to send me an e-mail. I will have more in the 18-20 range in the next
couple months. I personally will not need anything until I get to a 12.
— smummert
February 10, 2001
Bless your heart, for doing such a nice thing! And shame on these
unthinking people, for not paying the postage.
Next time, send them COD! They pay, or they don't get the clothes!!!
— Dhelynn
October 16, 2001
Unfortunately, I've had the same negative experience. I sent out boxes of
clothes to at least five different individuals, all of whom promised to
reimburse me for the postage. Only one person sent me a check, and it was
for less than the actual postage amount. Needless to say, I now bring my
clothes to the consignment shop or give them to people in need who live
within my community.I think the clothing exchange is a great idea, but I
can't afford to pay out that kind of postage money to folks who can't be
bothered to email a thank you.
— Aurele K.
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