Question:
Am I losing my mind? I need to hear from others. surgery next week
My surgery is scheduled for 1 week from tomorrow on 1/21. I never thought I could have so many different emotions going on all at once. One minute I am so happy about having the surgery, then the next I am crying about it. Then I start laughing at myself because I am crying. Then I feel guilty about putting my family through all of the worry even though I know this is what I need to do for myself. I am sure that I am not the only one that has gone through this, but it would be nice to have a little reassurance from others that have been there. — shellkov (posted on January 14, 2005)
January 14, 2005
I'm not as close to my surgery date as you but I have noticed that one
minute I am off the wall happy and one minute feeling guilty for leaving my
four children. I also get scared that I won't be able to follow the post
op diet or I won't lose weight. Then I realize if I don't take this time
for myself, I'll never truly be happy. Best of luck to you.
— 4ferme
January 14, 2005
No you are not losing your mind. In fact, all those emotions are not only
normal they are the result of a mature, caring person. It is perfectly
natural to worry because you don't want to cause the people that you love
any pain, specially the pain of loss. I went through the same thing. I
kept asking myself if I was being selfish and how would my grandchildren
and my daughter who is an only child feel if something happened to me. So
I went to church and I prayed and it reminded me of Jesus in the Garden of
Olives and I said to myself " I have to surrender myself into the
Father's hands like Jesus". He loves me and He loves my daughter and
grandchildren a billion times more than I ever could and would never cause
them any necessary pain. He has numbered my days; therefore, if it was my
time then staying home would not protect me. I went to the hospital
completely at peace, completely calm. Just remember He loves you and trust
him.
— pammatria
January 14, 2005
It is just your nerves about the surgery. there is alot of different
emotions that run thru you.I havent had mine yet but im on my way.
Hopefully Dec this year. My mom had hers though and came thru with flying
colors,if you think that it is serious enough then maybe you should talk to
your doctor and be reassured that your in capable hands.
Hope all goes well for you. and i hope i helped you some.:)
— susan P.
January 14, 2005
Don't worry. you'll be fine. just make sure this is what YOU really want. I
had it done 3 years ago on valentines day. Do i regret it? no, not at all.
Am i thin? Thin enough. 163lbs, size 12/13. Don't get false expectations.
Just know that you will be thinner and healthier. you may not get down to
120 lbs. but you will feel and look good. Would I do it all over again.
YES. Did i get the results I wanted? no. i followed a diet, I work out, and
at 163 lbs.... I look great. Trust in yourself to find the right answer. I
went through all those same emotions. hone, they're called butterflies! And
we all get them. Take care & you'll be in my prayers. good luck to you
in your new life. :) stacey
— Stacey F.
January 14, 2005
Hi there,
You are not alone. Read the beginning of my first few months prior to my
surgery (in my profile) in April 2003. I had toddlers at the time and and
still do and I would go from being and feeling blessed to have been given
the opportunity to have this surgery and then I would just look at my
family and weep and hug my kids... Its normal with any surgery. I am now
almost two years out and just had a tummy tuck and hernia repair two weeks
ago. I now weigh 119 lbs and wear a size 4-5. I started with a BMI of 50
and 273 lbs... My results arent always typical but atleast you know you
will be looking at a healthy future for you and your family... Take a deep
breath and go for it.. Best Wishes, Laura
— [Deactivated Member]
January 14, 2005
I just want to thank all of you for your kind and very helpful words. As I
was reading them, I was bawling my eyes out! LOL! But here I am laughing
at myself again. This website has been a real Godsend for me. I am so
addicted to it. You see, as great as my family and friends are, they
cannot understand what I am going through. None of them have ever had a
problem with their weight. They all tell me that they love me the way that
I am. So it is great that I can come to this site and "talk " to
others that know exactly how I feel. I don't know how I would've coped
without it. Anyway, thanks again! Your replies mean the world to me !
BTW...I went today for my pre-op testing. WOW! That was when it hit me
that this is really happening! So I am even more emotional now than I was
before if thats even possible! LOL!!
— shellkov
January 14, 2005
Hi Shelly,
It is amazing the emotion involved with this surgery. Usually people don't
understand, a because they have never walked in our stretched out shoes and
b because it is like no other surgery. When people have their gallbladder
removed(among many other surgeries), they heal and that is pretty much it,
then back to life as usual, but this surgery is a total life change. You
know this, that is part of why your emotions are so out of whack, it is a
big thing and of course you are going to have these mixed emotions about
it. It is funny that you mentioned the real feeling you got after your
pre-testing, I totally understand. I was being put to sleep and on the
operating table and I still didn't believe it was really going to happen, I
thought something would surely go wrong. It didn't and here I am, almost
three months and 70lbs. later. You will be fine, it is so normal to feel
the way you do. Just wait until after surgery when your hormones are
surging... still an emotional rollercoaster!!! Anyway, you know what is
best for you and believe it or not it is going to happen! You will be so
much more healthy and happy, I am sure! I wish you all the luck in the
world, and please... enjoy it!
Amber
— septembergirl73
January 14, 2005
I hate to tell you but you are normal. ;)
— Danmark
January 15, 2005
Hi:
What you are feeling is very normal, you will be a much happier person as
you drop those unwanted pounds though and know you made the right decisson.
I know I did, my surgery was 5/11/04 and now I feel real good.
Pam
— pam06611
January 15, 2005
IT'S OK. I HAVE SURGERY 1/19 AND I GO FROM HAPPY TO SAD TO SCARED AND THEN
I THANK THE ALMIGHTY CREATOR FOR THE CHANCE TO GET HEALTHY AGAIN. JUST
REMEMBER WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS AND KNOW THAT YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THERE BEFORE
SO ITS NATURAL TO TO HAVE THESE EMOTIONS.THEN LAUGH BECAUSE YOU WILL BE
DOING SO SOON WITH GREAT RESULTS TO SHOW FOR ALL YOUR WORRIES.GOOD LUCK AND
MAY THE CREATOR BLESS YOU.
— SHARON21
January 15, 2005
I am 3 yrs. out and believe me what you are experiencing is normal. We all
go through it some more than others but it is worth it! I've never had a
day where I regretted the surgery.
— pmallen
January 15, 2005
I believe it to be perfectly normal. I was the same way.
I pray you and your team will have a sucessful surgery and you a quick
recovery. I will remember you in my prayers. Everything will be a tough
struggle for a while but it will turn out great and you will not regret it.
God Bless and Keep You.
Sincerely,
Carmen DeZarn
— cbd1954
January 15, 2005
Dear Shelly:
My surgery was on Dec 21, 2004, so that makes me 25 days out and 18 pounds
lighter(the first week sucks, but nothing you cannnot handle...don't be
brave, take the pain medicine, and ask for more if it still hurts. When
they ask how bad it hurts from 1 to 10, tell them 3!) Get up and around
ASAP...makes the nasty gas pains go away(it also gets you out of the
hospital sooner). I was excited before the surgery, but also scared. Not
so much of the surgery(I have had several), but of the drastic measure I
was taking to lose the weight. But the truth was that I had stopped
participating in life. Seldom wore anything but my nightgown, and began to
hate to leave the house. Then I started having physical problems related
to weight issues. Would I do it again? In a minute. I now have a reason
to live, something to look forward to. The diet is not so bad, because you
are only really hungry a couple of times a day...and this little tiny
amount of food makes you feel OK. Rather have small jeans than steak,
anyday. I had someone contact me that was scheduled for surgery for the
same day as I We've stayed in contact. It is great that we have this
website where people understand. Good luck...I'll be thinking of you on
the 21st. E-mail if you'd like.
— lindarodham6
January 15, 2005
Please don't be afraid. You will be so glad after y;ou get this done. I
haven't had it done yet I know how you feel but if you don't go thru with
it now later down the road you may have sleep apnes, diabetes or anything
else. Get it done now ands by summer you will be able to do things with
your family your could,t do before. That is where I keep my mind focused.
I want to live as long as I possibly can. I am 51 right now will be 52
in Feb. This is all I have done all my life is worry about what I eat and
trying to loose weight Idon't want to spend the rest of my life like I
have the first paart of my life. I am ready NOW. I just wish they would
return my calls for my appointments. good luck I care. Judy Morris
— Judy 52
January 15, 2005
I went through some emotional stuff, too. I was ok with having the
surgery done. My sister had it done 6 months before me and wqs doing
great, but a few days before I went in, I was speaking to my son and I told
him it was coming up. So I asked him how he felt and he told me it was my
decision. Pretty odd for a 10 year old, so I asked him what he meant. He
started to cry and told me he would miss me. Whew!! I thought he was afraid
that I'd die. He was upset I was going to be out of the house for a few
days. SO I made sur a few famnily members made a fuss, and asked my husband
to bring him to see me and spend the day in Manhattan with him. The only
other nervous moment was when they walked me to the OZR. I was going down
the hall saying to myself "Dead man walking". I knew it was now
or never at that time. Luckily, I had a terrific PA and anesthesiologist
prepping me and they put my anxiety to rest. And hey, no sore throat after
the ansthesia. So, it is normal to be anxious, as many will tell you. All
of us feel it and express it in different ways. You will be fine. Best of
luck!!!
— Fixnmyself
January 16, 2005
Well, I'm having surgery on January 28th and I starting to have the same
feelings that all of you have had. I just have to keep telling myself that
there is light at the end of the tunnel. It's amazing how much we all can
relate to each other. I'm soooo happy that I'm going to be a loser. That
word loser never looked so good. Bless and love you all.
— Judy L. T.
January 16, 2005
I just wanted to tell you all that you the best group of people! As a
matter of fact, I am going to copy all of your responses and all of the
emails I have received, and take them to the Hospital with me. Thank you
for all of your support! It means so much!
— shellkov
January 16, 2005
Shelly,
Bless your heart weve all been on that roller coaster of emotions I would
cry day and night asking for some kind of sure thing that I was doing what
I needed to do. Pray Pray Pray until you have peace with this in your
heart. Everything will go great for you I am sure and soon youll be saying
that the only regret that you have is not haveing it done sooner. Michelle
— saved_by_grace
January 17, 2005
From My Profile: I remember when - Now I am almost 2 years prost op. I
will not tell you it is easy. We are none of us taking the easy way out.
I have had no complications as God has been with me every step of the way.
But we can all tell you that it is well worth every risk we took. And most
of only wish we had made the dicision earlier in our lives. So that we
could have been healthier and happier for a longer period of time. May God
bless you as he has me and my Son who is 3 Months Post Op and down almost
70 lbs. I am so proud of him. You will be fine come to peace with your
decision and rest peacefully with God in your heart. He will be guiding
your surgeon on the day of your surgery>
Two years prior shortly before my surgery: I wrote the following you will
see we are all human and have lots of thaughts.
Dr. Doxey has been very informative. I have had an opportunity to talk to 3
patients that went under gastric bypass surgery with him. They have all
done very well. I am looking forward to the life change. Dr. Doxeys office
is always very busy. But they really seam to have there stuff together. I
am very impressed. 3-13-03 _ I was very worried being a single parent the
morning of surgery. My son 13 yrs old was very scared of the surgery (just
because) I have been the only parent on a full time basis his entire life.
He had made hisself very ill the entire week before my surgery. This really
started playing on my emotions. The morning of I went back for surgery just
a bit more concerned than normal. I told the nurses I wanted to talk to Dr.
Doxey before I Got undressed. I knew this was my chance at a new life. But
my children and every one else I love has always been put before my own
needs. After seeing Dr Doxey and him one more time assuring me that their
were some minimal risk and what they were. I moved forward with my surgery.
Dr Doxey even up to that moment assured me if this was no the right time
for me he would just reschedule my date. He is a GREAT DOCTOR and I really
appreciate the time that he took with me
— CAROL LEE
January 18, 2005
Congrations to you! I look back at my profile and remember how happy &
anxious I was in the prior days before surgery.
I looked at my future with uncertainty. I imagined how little I may become
(I used to be 304 pounds) and then would think, what if I do something
wrong and can't lose weight and what if I don't lose enough or if I stretch
my stomach out. All that and more. I was also scared.
I knew in my heart that I wanted this surgery more than anything and
regardless of the little doubts I had. The hope I had outweighed my
worries.
Good luck to you and I will be thinking of you on your surgery day!
— Mary H.
January 15, 2008
Oh my gosh, I read this and thought "did I post this?" HAH! My
surgery is 1/28, and I *just* got off the phone with my parents and
in-laws, telling them I wish I wasn't putting them through the stress of
all this -- but you know what? My mother said, "well, that's nice of
you to say, but this surgery is about YOU. concentrate on YOU." And
she's right!
But yes, I frequently find myself crying when I read OA posts. Or when I
picture of a valentine truffle and think I can never have a favorite food
again (which is NOT true), and then I have this tiny feeling of excitement
at what a big brave change this all is! And then I wonder if I'm crazy for
even thinking I can stand up to all the changes I'm going to have to make.
My surgeon says that these are GOOD signs -- it shows that you're fully
informed, that you understand ALL the angles, and that you're starting to
deal with them NOW, rather than post-op, and that's SO much better.
But I'm right there with you, sister! You can cry on me all you like! :)
Take care.
— crydecker
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