Question:
Why does my husband need to come with me for psych. evaluation?

Hi everyone. I hope I'm doing this right. I've been lurking around this site for quite some time. This is my first post. I am pretty early in this journey. I have had my visit to the dietician, I have my physical appt. with my pcp, and I have an appt. for a psych. eval. November 13. The woman who called me to schedule my psych. eval. told me that my husband needs to come with me. Is this normal? My husband is very supportive of my having the surgery, and I'm sure he'll have no problem coming with me. I'm just curious why he needs to come with me? Is it just as a support person to me?He's not real big on talking to a psychologist or psychiatrist. I can't wait to tell him he's coming with me-lol. Well, thanks for any answers you can give me. I love this site!! Tracy    — tracee r (posted on October 21, 2003)

October 21, 2003
This is a highly unusual request. Most psyxh docs don't want even your husband with you because it may prevent you from opeing up to them and this is a highly private appt. i know it is very common for the surgeon to want to meet with your hubby. but psych. doc, Very unusual. i would call her up and ask her why and stress the privavy thing. Sometimes they ask you if you were abused or something and people don't disclose these things sometimes to even their hubbys. Of course if you have no problem and he will go that's good. But be prepared. The questions are very personal.
   — Delores S.

October 21, 2003
I would call and asked specifically why they are requesting your husband go with you. You do have the right to know. I didn't have to do a psych eval, but know my husband would of gone with me if needed. Wonder if they want to talk to the spouse to see how supportive they are. BUT whether a spouse is supportive or not, should not affect your referral for surgery. Good luck.
   — [Deactivated Member]

October 21, 2003
Welcome to our board! My surgeons psych who approves all of us talks to us with our spouses about the procedure and what post op life will be like. Then just the patient is screened. I like this since it helps couples to both be aware of whats going to occur.
   — bob-haller

October 21, 2003
Hi Tracy, I don't have a husband and really wouldnt have wanted him {if I had one} there at my pscyh evaluation anyways, it's a bit personal, but if you are comfortable with it and so is he then go for it. And I'm sorry but I'm having a problem with the things - k perkins posted, Sounds a like you have some female hate issues eh? also sounds like you have some Serious personal issues to deal with. Dont' go condeming other people for somethings that may have happened to you or someone you know.
   — Penny~ L.

October 21, 2003
WOW.....I just read a post from a real animal, and not a party animal!!! Sounds like we have one unhappy camper amonst us! lol Hon...Not all women are the same. And....I'd just bet with you being her husband and your language/attitude you drove her off. We do have minds and can certainly think for ourselves with a man telling us too. What you need is a good Cajun woman to straighten your self centered "Butt" out or get rid of it, just like your wife did! I say...More Power To Her!~ lol
   — Hazel S.

October 21, 2003
Hi Tracy: From all I've read, I'd say having the spouse at the psych. evaluation is highly unusual. There was a question last month where a woman wanted her husband to come and the psych preferred he didn't. The reason I believe they'd want a spouse there is to verify that you have support for your surgery and post op. I was asked if I had support and the psych didn't mean just my husband but also my extended family as well. I'm glad you're not worried that your husband won't go, that makes it easier. I am guessing that it is to verify support is why. If you want a definitive answer you should just call the office and ask. I didn't go to a surgeon in my area because he required the spouses to go to the orientation seminar and it was always a night that my husband worked. My husband has been very supportive of me the last 2 and 1/2 years post op. I have no tention of leaving him now or anytime in the future. I don't see how our lives have changed much at all since surgery. I think Mr. Perkins reply is very interesting though, and instead of being posted as an answer to this question it might be fun to have him post it as his own question. I am sorry things haven't gone well for the people who have had surgery and then have it effect their marriages. My feeling is there was something already wrong in the marriage and the surgery just brought it to light. But hey, that's just my opinion. Good luck with your journey Tracy. As you see you did perfectly posting. S
   — sherry hedgecock

October 21, 2003
Tracy, My wife went with me. They want to know if you have and will have support with this surgery. They also want to make sure they are going to be able to cope with the change. I also think he wants to make sure from there perspective if you have any eating disorders.
   — daddy43302

October 21, 2003
I've never heard of this, but perhaps this therapist thinks the spouse is so vital to the success of the patient he wants to see the interaction?
   — bethybb

October 21, 2003
AMOS MOD HERE<P> I had to remove one response from here:( It was inappropiate. I e mailed the member offering to help. I suspect someone close to him had surgery and is now miserable. Many of us have experienced those tough early days, but its important to know they can occur but things will get better eventually. I support psych consults incuding some family education for just this reason.
   — bob-haller

October 22, 2003
My psych wanted to make sure that my hubby was on board with my suirgery, and that I would have true family support post op. I was told that if my husband was seriously against my surgery, the psych wanted to make sure that I could handle surgical recovery and the strict diet on my own post-op.
   — M B.

November 5, 2003
This is NOT an unusual request from your psych doctor. The team of doctors that I go to now require all spouses to attend the evaluations and another session after some weight loss has occurred. They were seeing too many marriages breaking up after one of them changed physically and thought that some intervention would help. It has. They are seeing less marriage problems now. All the support from a spouse can't match the affect a little education can do. And who else better to do the educating than a trained professional. If your spouse doesn't want to go or won't go, then you have bigger problems. I'm single so I only had an individual evaluation. I have seen the affect of a supporting spouse take leave when the changes become more than they understand. So, do what is asked and you will be fine.
   — Katherine B.

March 7, 2007
Better Idea get an outstate surgeon get friend to go or ask to get it done online I didn't have to have one
   — yorkie

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