Question:
When will all this pass??

I am almost 4 weeks post-op and I know depression is normal but when will this pass? I am grateful to be losing weight but things just don't go down very easily. I never feel hungry, but I eat because I know I need the nutrients, but then I feel "blah". I loved food, eating out, and did I mention food??? And now that I can't eat what I want I feel very down. I am already taking Zoloft. And I keep reading that eventually this will pass and I will be able to eat other foods, and maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself....but when can I expect some changes?    — Denise D. (posted on July 27, 2003)

July 27, 2003
I know it's hard to hear, but the truth is it really WILL pass! My RNY was almost 10 weeks ago and I still have moments of depression. There is so much to cope with as a new post-op ... healing from surgery, getting the anesthesia and other drugs out of your system, getting used to your new tummy, getting your new tummy used to food again, re-learning how to eat .... that's a lot to take in at one time. But the key word is *time* ... and time has a way of working these things out. As you heal you will find that you are feeling better and there really will come a time when you will enjoy eating again. We've all been there, sweetie (and some of us are still there - I've been dealing with some serious "head hunger" myself lately)! Don't expect too much of yourself too soon. Give yourself time to heal and remember why you took this step in your life. As the weight comes off and you begin feeling better, your outlook will change. There is nothing like watching the pounds fall off to make depression disappear! Best of luck to you and if you ever want someone to email with, feel free to write me. Blessings! Jody ~ RNY 5/23/03
   — MomBear2Cubs

July 27, 2003
Hi there! I came online tonight to talk about the same thing. I am 17 days post-op and am overwhelmed with a feeling of BOREDOM. A little depression, but I think it stems from the boredom. Eating was a joy, three or more times a day. Now, with what we can eat, it's like "SO WHAT!" Food doesn't taste as interesting, esp. a couple of bites of it. I am thrilled that I have no appetite, I am thrilled that I am only eating to live, because I want to be the one in control, not my body, and because I know it equals weightloss, I don't even have head hunger...but, that doesn't change the fact that eating doesn't give me joy anymore, and that is a big void. Isn't it? Frankly, I am pissed that it ever did give me SO MUCH joy! I know it is enjoyable, but why did FOOD give me that much joy? Isn't that sad when you stop and think about it? How to change it? I have no clue. Maybe it is just a big habbit. Maybe that is why it takes time for those associations to go away. We spent all the years we are old feeling this way and overnight we want to change it? I think it will take some time, but I have faith it will get easier. It has to. Look at all the others that have gone before us? Why would they lie to us? Take it a day a at time, talk about it with those who know what you are going through, and support others. Supporting you helped me tonight. Feel free to e-mail anytime. Aren't you glad this is our latest worry as opposed to "WIll I be approved for surgery?" Peace to you!
   — Michele B.

July 27, 2003
Believe me when I say that feeling will pass. There will come a time really soon when you can eat whatever you want,just in small portions. I eat whatever I want and feel satisfied with small portions. I didn't think that would be possible, Just today I had lunch with my daughter and she ordered cake , I took two bites and was shocked when I heard myself say that I was full. Then I realized that I was not only full but was satisfied with the two bites. I have learned that just tasting something stops the craving because I don't feel deprived. I'm 6 months out and down 65 pounds. I haven't lost as much as some but I did start out as a light weight. I try to focus on today and let tomorrow take care of it's self.
   — myra J.

July 27, 2003
Hi there. Depression is very serious but does pass in time. Things really didn't go down easy for me at this point either. I never feel hungry now really. I know the blah feeling and this too will pass. Give it time. Which I am sure you have heard a million times. LOL! Food was definitely my friend. I loved to eat, go out to resturants, and eat some more. You will be able to eat more and some of the things you used to eat when you get further out. As for feeling sorry for yourself I did too. It just comes with the territory. Don't worry so much. Just be happy you are getting the weight off and saving your own life. If you need to chat write me.
   — Kitty Kat

July 28, 2003
Hi Denise: I guess there are many of us in the same boat. It took me 3 months, but I just started to feel these small bouts of depression. I still haven't figured all of it out, but I know a good chunk of it comes from losing my best friend...food. The enjoyment I had from eating socially (I always ate with friends, never alone), is now gone. Yes, I still eat with friends. Yes, I still enjoy their company. Yes, I do get full quickly. Yes, I now make better food choices. Bottom line though...I miss the enjoyment. I find meal time boring and uneventful. The key, I think, is finding another enjoyable hobby. Something that helps me get over those humps when I'm feeling exceptionally sorry for myself. Don't get me wrong...I have never regretted having this surgery. I feel great physically. Food, I suppose, was always a substitute for something I was missing. I wish I knew what that was. In the meantime, I wake up every day, I drink my protein, I eat my smaller portions, and try to enjoy my new lease on life for what it is...a second chance. I wish you the best...and hope this is a short period of depression for you...Amy*LAP RNY 04-09-03 (-62 pounds)
   — Amy A.

July 28, 2003
I know things probably suck for you right now. I remember those days. When you are unable to eat anything that is even remotely appealing. I also remember feeling just plain lousy for a good 8 weeks despite my surgery being laproscopic. But I do know this, now that I am almost a year out and down 114lbs (July 29th, YEAH!). Things get better! You probably don't feel the greatest, not to mention with that, I bet you have more time during the day to sit and remember how glorious it was to have all the time you have right now to eat whatever you please. But the thing is, that the more weight you lose, and the better you feel will increase your ability to do all those things you wanted to do before. I had the same thing happen and then one day I stopped and said to myself, "wow, the day is just not long enough". I realized that I had become so busy in my new found body that I didn't have any more time to sit and feel sorry for myself or to fall into those "pit of despair" depressions that I grew up in. I know that is hard to picture yourself doing, where you are at right now. But one thing that might help, is making all those plans now. I actually wrote down my list of things I wanted to do that I couldn't do before, physically. Even simple things made it on my list, like crossing my legs like a lady. As time went on, I have been able to cross out lots of things on my list that I could have never dreamed of doing a year ago. I still add to my list all the time, as I am more outgoing now and able to do things I couldn't even picture myself doing when I got thinner. Anyway, I hope this helps. Good luck and feel free to email me if you want to. :) Hang in there kid, it does get better. In fact, it's better than I could have imagined.
   — Laurel C.

July 28, 2003
Man am I ever going through the same thing. I am also almost 4 weeks post-op and I had no IDEA how difficult this would be emotionally. Food was a huge part of my social life - barbeques, going out for dinner, having brunch with friends, going out for drinks on the weekends, having lunch at work with colleagues, etc. It's torture. I feel totally cut off from the ability to "savour life to the fullest," you know? And not only that, but I vomit at least once a day and feel uncomfortable physically after every meal. Anyway... I guess I've just kind of resigned myself to it. I still think about food a lot, it's still hard to go to the grocery store, or watch food commercials, or go to a wedding reception, and I still dream about food at least 3 or 4 times a week. I'm just hoping at some point I get over it and this whole thing becomes worth it. Until then, if you wanna chat with someone who TOTALLY feels your pain and is at the same point in the journey, feel free to email!
   — Tiffany J.