Question:
Reconsidering surgery now that post op friend passed away...

A coworker and friend of mine passed away on Monday. We have researched together and watched the success of another friend/coworker for the past year. She had her surgery three weeks ago, open and I was waiting until school got out for the summer and would be having mine lap. The medical examiner said that she died from a coronary embolism and that it was unrelated to the surgery, something that I find (with my layperson medical knowledge)so difficult to believe. I am so deeply grieving my friend that I cant even begin to clear my thoughts to rational thinking about what I will do. Anyone know of another patient that died from a "coronary" embolism and not pulmonary? anyone else find it hard to believe that the surgery was NOT the prevailing factor? I mean, I understand that she was already at a high risk, but how could it not have been the surgery? Thank you for allowing me to vent and ramble, any thoughts, similarities, advice would be great. I am just floundering, grappling now.    — May S. (posted on May 3, 2002)

May 3, 2002
i would beleive that it was not a result of surgery and would suggest that you think long and hard before cancelling the surgery. if your friend needed the surgery it was because she was severly obese and that could have been the cause. i remind myself now that i could have died at any time while waiting for the surgery. the risk of dying from surgery is much smaller than the risk of dying from being obese. you have a much greater change from dying of being overweight. i had the surgery on jan 3rd which was 4 months ago today and have lost 70 pounds. i can breathe without inhalers and no longer take any of my medications. i started at 288 pounds and am now 218.
   — LAURA G.

May 3, 2002
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. What was her name? Was she on oue WLS roster for surgery? Anyway, my aunt died many years ago from complications relating to issues she previously had before having an Intestinal Bypass. Now they don't do those types anymore, but I understand your concern. If you believe in prayer...pray and the Lord will answer you. I'll be praying in the mean time that you hear Him clearly. Gid Bless You.
   — Monique N.

May 3, 2002
I can understand how you would find it hard to believe that the surgery was not the primary cause. I would/do feel the same way as you. It's kind of how like you see people developing autoimmune disorders like Lupus, Sjogrens, Bechet's, and MS at beyond-coincidence frequency after WLS. But since the medical community can give no defniitive cause (except that improper nutrition may put you at higher risk for developing an AD), people swear up and down WLS and/or malabsorption is not the cause... but do you really think they would have developed these if they had not had WLS? Just weird timing? I would say be sure you have done some very honest research and that you are willing to deal with the risks of surgery. If your friend was at higher risk, then take that into consideration too. I think it's better to postpone and make sure you are really informed than to go into this with major hesitations (especially if you are younger, have a lower BMI, and/or no major comorbids). Not to say that even if you go into it with hesitations that you will regret it, but you could really suffer a lot more emotionally than need be. I am so sorry for your loss, and I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide.
   — [Deactivated Member]

May 3, 2002
Thank you all for your thoughtful answers. She was not a member of this group, but a quiet observer and reader as I was until I posted this question. She did have a history of phlebitis, was almost 50 with high blood pressure, a family history of heart trouble and at least 100 lbs over what I have to lose going into the surgery. I have a BMI of 42, about 120 lbs total to lose, no high b/p, am 35, and sleep apnea is my only diagnosed comorb. So I understand that her risk was much greater, but I just dont know now how I will find the peace inside to be able to go into surgery with the mindset to accept it as my body should. I also understand that it must come from me. I guess I just need to ponder openly. I do have an appt with her/my doctor next week. I wonder what comfort/information he will/can give me then...
   — May S.