Question:
Would it be wrong for me not to postpone?

I am having surgery the first of May...finally. I have been waiting "forever". This is my dilema....my spouse will be out of town for the surgery...no, it can't be rescheduled,it is out of country...and we may not have insurance for much longer....am I selfish for doing this without my spouse? Should I tell the surgeon and have them think I am being "picky"? Honest answers, please....I don't need anyone to beat me up as I am doing enough of that myself...I just want some input!    — [Anonymous] (posted on March 7, 2002)

March 7, 2002
Honestly, under the circumstances, as long as you and your husband are on terms about this I dont see any problem. Is anyone else going with you? You should of course have someone there for you in case of a problem
   — Michelle H.

March 7, 2002
How long will he be gone? Will he be there intime for you to come home? Will there be someone with you? You are in GOOD hands when you are in the hospital and of course it would b best if he could be there with you but it seems he cant. This is something you have decided to do for you and for your health. With the possibility of you losing insurance and such on top of waiting the life time (or so it feels!) for the date if I were you would go through the surgery and have him call ya 4 times a day!!! Theres not much he can really do for you other than sooth you and he CAN do that over the phone, its not like he can bring ya chocolates yano. lol I hope things work out for you. Good luck!!!!
   — Sassy M.

March 7, 2002
My personal opinion is that you should discuss this with your husband. If he is "ok" with it, then by all means don't postpone. Especially if your not going to have insurance much longer. It seems like insurance is a major issue, and if you have a provider that will cover the surgery, do it now. Maybe a sibling or parent or neighbor could help out. My sister had WLS done in January 02, and she lives in another state. I took 2 1/2 weeks off work to go out and help her. She did so well that I didn't really have much to do for her. I just helped with getting her meals and laundry and housework. Best of luck to you.
   — candymom64

March 7, 2002
NO u are not being selfish and i would not postpone it. as long as u and your husband is in agreement with this then do it hell even if he isnt in agreement i would still do it. this is your chance to change your life dont miss out on it do this for yourself! thats just my opinion...
   — Deanna Wise

March 7, 2002
As we all know, unfortunately there are last minute cancellations because people have not passed their pre-op tests for whatever reason, illness, etc. This could work out for you and your husband if you are able to be flexible. If it were me, I would call the person who schedules surgeries for your doctor and let her know your situation. Ask if you could be put on a cancellation list. You may get lucky and be able to have your surgery while your husband is still home.
   — Karen B.

March 7, 2002
If you are the only person that you have to take care of post op, then I think you will do great.(no children) Be sure there is someone to drive you home and someone you can contact in case you need something (meds refilled, transportation to surgeon for post op appointments) I don't think you are being selfish at all. I think your husband is getting off pretty easy, actually!! When I came home, I had 4 children to continue to manage. I had lifting help with my 8 month old. But was up and fixing breakfast for my other children the next morning. I had open RNY and really did well. I would have LOVED to have been home by myself and to pamper myself. But, I didn't have that opportunity. Of course, when my husband came home in the evening, he took over and I went to bed! I would definitely continue with surgery as scheduled. Be sure you prepare ahead of time (supplies in, furniture moved if necessary). Good luck! Shelley
   — Shelley.

March 8, 2002
I am the original poster, and I LOVE YOU GUYS!! Thanks so much for answering me! I have to admit, I was surprised I didn't get "bashed" for even asking this one! We are in agreement, and he is ok with it...still gonna worry though, even overseas! I have the best church family in the world so being alone isn't an issue. I have older kids...12 and 14 year old boys that I homeschool and MY MOM LIVES WITH ME!!! I think I was just wondering if it was fair to my hubby to do this while he was in India and if something went wrong he wouldn't be able to be here for my kids. I am going to mention the cancellation list to my surgeon....but mostly I am going to pray for the Lord to move on my behalf...it's been in His hands all along. Again, I thank you all.
   — [Anonymous]