Question:
Do you tell co-workers you are having WLS and if not what do you say?

I've been having to take off for various dr. appointments while preparing for WLS and of course will be taking off several weeks for surgery when it happens. My current plan is to not tell co-workers what type of surgery because I don't want to hear all of the negatives they'll come up with. But...what about after the surgery when weight loss starts happening? What have others said/done? I don't want to just say I'm having my gall bladder out and then have them speculating if I had WLS. Thanks, Margy    — MargyB (posted on June 17, 2001)

June 17, 2001
Are you afraid of hearing all the negatives about the surgery or the negatives about you personally for having the surgery? What is your fear if they speculate about the type of surgery you had? There are lots of people who will be supportive and understanding. There are also people who will label you a weak, lazy, etc. The question is...how much does it matter to you what others have to say? Hopefully not too much because people will talk no matter which approach you decide to take, whether you are forthcoming with information or not. If YOU are comfortable with yourself and your decision you'll be better prepared for the negative feedback you get from others. Good Luck.
   — Amy W.

June 17, 2001
I have lost at least one friend and co-worker over this desision. She had never walked in my shoes I am real sensative and let it bother me at first,but if she was truley my friend like so many others. that are supporting my desicion. I also am a terrible lier. and always share my experiences with others. You might even help some one else out of the WEIGHT RUTT, good luck Dee
   — Dee D.

June 17, 2001
This one is kind of a "foot stomper" for me. I chose NOT to tell my co-workers. I am not ashamed of having surgery, nor do I give a diddly damn what people think or gossip about. For me, it is an issue of PRIVACY. It is simply none of their business. I have lost 106 pounds and people are definitely noticing. Most just say something kind like "You look great" or "You seem to be feeling so much better than you used to". If this is the case, I simply say thank you. Some have said "have you lost alot of weight" ... I say yes, thank you for noticing. Some have asked me if I am ill and I thank them for their concern, tell them I am healthier than I have been in years, and that I am losing weight on purpose. If people press for details, I tell them as politely as I can that I don't want to discuss it. In most cases, that is sufficient. To those truly ill-mannered and persistently nosy people, I tell them it is none of their damned business. People who have known me for a long time have seen me lose large amounts of weight several times, only to regain more, and then lose it again. I am a typical former yo-yo dieter. I assume they think this is just the latest in a never ending series of futile weight loss attempts. In any case, I will leave you with a final word of advice: if you have even the slightest doubts about telling someone, DON'T. You can always change your mind and tell them later, but if you regret telling them .... it is impossible to "untell" them once the cat is out of the bag. You will have enough to deal with on this wonderful roller coaster ride of WLS, without putting up with the negativity and ignorance of others ... give yourself a break! Good luck!
   — Lynn T.

June 17, 2001
Margy - I do understand your situation, as I find myself in the same. Here's what I'm doing: I have been casually mentioning that my doctor said I need to get into better shape (true). I also mention that I am exercising every day (also true). So, there's a small bit of foreshadowing when I begin to lose weight. Since I'm going to be out for three weeks (moving to Kansas), people think I'm going to be on vacation. (Spa?? Just moving burns up calories.) My boss and my best male friend at work know I'm having gallbladder surgery (true). My best girlfriend and best gay man friend at work know the whole truth. I figure it's really no one's business. People judge. And, while I don't give a d*mn about what they say, I am in management and I would just prefer they focus their energy somewhere else than on my prviate body issues...know what I mean. Most people don't even know enough about WLS for it to be their first thought!! My girlfriend told her husband I was doing this and he said "She's doing WHAT???" He'd never heard such a thing! He's no dummy....he has quite a bit of formal education...it's just out of his sphere. So, I'm not too concerned about other people. My experience in this life suggests that most people are more interested in THEMSELVES than in me!! LOL Good luck to everyone.
   — blee01

June 17, 2001
Margy--those people at your work have nothing better to do than gossip (I know, I worked with Margy for almost 20 years). Tell them you're having half your brain removed so you'll be at their level and it affected your weight. Love,
   — sandieguy

June 18, 2001
DOn't tell if you don't have to. I told my boss and a few of what I thought were a few friends. Well now all 70 people in my department know what I did and watch me everytime I go near the cafeteria. Last week we had a "fat day" where everyone brought in something to eat for our team meeting. While my whole team is sitting around the table feeding their faces my manager loudly says, 'Poor Tracy can't have any of this great food, don't we feel bad". I wanted to die.
   — Tracy C.