Question:
self destructive eating - need help!

i'm going on 7 weeks postop and the last couple of days i feel like i'm hungry a lot and thinking about food all of the time. today i was travelling home from a business trip and ate the small bag of pretzels on the plane, had lunch(cold cuts on a slice of light wheat bread) when i got home, grabbed a few crackers right after lunch, then a few more. about an hour later i had a sugar free popsicle,then a little later, had a graham cracker. for dinner i had almost a whole piece of pizza (in the past, i've not had more than half a slice), and i felt like i was deliberately trying to overeat. this behavior scares me - it feels a lot like my pre op eating. i so do not want to go back to my old ways. i'd appreciate any feedback, especially suggestions for how to avoid acting out on these impulses. thanks!    — carolsaunders (posted on June 19, 2003)

June 19, 2003
Hi, Carol. I just read your profile and felt exactly the same way at 6 weeks post op. Slow slow slow. Read my profile and you'll see the 2nd month was terribly slow for me. However, the 3rd month I got jump-started again. I am exactly 3 months post-op and down a total of 54 pounds which absolutely elates me. The thing I make an absolute concerted effort over is protein and water intake (once again, see my profile). I pretty much steer clear of carbs (especially the obvious ones like crackers, dough, bread, potatoes, etc. (the white stuff)). Everytime I crave one (which really isn't often now that I'm not eating them), I remind myself of what my eating disorder therapist told me, "crackers are empty calories." Believe it or not, it helps me. I think if you avoid the carbs at all costs, you'll discover you don't want them anymore but would rather have the protein. Eat the cheese and other stuff off the pizza and skip the dough/crust. Have two slices if you want, no dough. I hope this helps. Maybe a helpful hint for those nasty flights is to keep some soynuts or a protein bar in your purse. I love almonds, ask the flight attendant for almonds instead, they have them for first class, or pack your own. I keep a can of smokehouse almonds in the car...hey you never know, and the salt and crunch is what I crave! A quarter cup and I'm done! Good luck and I think you're doing great. You can't change a lifetime of eating habits in 6 weeks or 6 months! Keep up the good work!
   — msmaryk

June 19, 2003
Mary- First, you should appreciate that you are not alone. Many of us, even those of us with fast weight loss worry about reverting to our old habits- your consciousness of those traits and desire not to succumb to those demons puts you in good stead. A few quick thoughts--- at 8 weeks out, it seems like your consumption is high on carbs. I was/still am a carb addict--- having little tastes merely encourages me to have more. Consequently, your cravings may have been motivated by the carbs you were having. It is much easier to avoid them altogether rather than stop after one bite (if I could have ever stopped after one bite, I wouldn't have needed to lose over 200 pounds). Secondly, I have found that drinking fluids all day helps to minimize any hunger, and therefore control any cravings. Coffee for me has been a real lifesaver (the caffeine helps to suppress appetite). Lastly, recognize what the other poster said---- you didn't gain your weight overnight, and you certainly can't expect to unlearn years of bad behaviors in a few weeks. Mary, I struggle with those over-eating demons every day. But with faith and support from friends, family and members of our local support group, I am able to deflect those temptations. Good luck!
   — SteveColarossi

June 19, 2003
Steve is so right. Those little bites of refined carb foods lead to more and more little bites. I'm a major carb addict and crave carbs big time. If you have to have a bite of something, make it protein. I have a bite of cheese, a bite of a protein bar, a bite of deli meat, a protein shake. I'll be two years out in August, and it's been a challenge for me the entire time, but with this tool and some discipline, it's possible. You just have to find the trick that works for you. Michelle Curran once posted that she would tell herself "you can have the _____ (insert high carb, poor choice here) after you drink a protein shake". This works so well because after I drink the shake, I rarely want the _______. That technique has been my main weapon in the fight to stay in my size 8s ;) Thank you Michelle!
   — mom2jtx3

June 19, 2003
I agree with the previous posters 100%! I found that by keeping a lot of various protein foods at hand - easy ones, like nuts, jerky, string cheese, etc. that it made it easier to grab those when I craved carbs or just wanted to eat. I also have found that if I simply MUST give in and have carbs I'll have crackers but load them up with peanut butter or cream cheese so they fill me up better AND add protein to what I'm eating. Don't beat yourself up though, at least the carbs your picking aren't too awful! It's not like you grabbed a donut or cookies/cake etc. A couple of crackers and pretzels aren't the end of the world. I'm just glad you see the potential for a problem and are reacting now instead of much later. Best of luck to you!
   — [Deactivated Member]

June 20, 2003
many, many thanks to all of your for your responses. i hear you loud and clear on the carbs, and will make some immediate changes in that regard. but most of all thanks for the support and encouragement. it meant more than you can ever know!
   — carolsaunders

June 20, 2003
I agree with other posters that you probably need to find a substitute for the carbs. For me, one complex carbohydrate leads to many more. However, sometimes you just have to have that crunch and mouth feel that a potato chip or pretzel or corn chip gives you. Someone on this site (I wish I could remember who; I'd give you credit) recently gave a recipe for crispy cheese chips. They are high in protein, no carb, give you a satisfied feeling after only two or three pieces without creting additional cravings, and have that great crunch and mouth feel that I sometimes want. Very easy to make: lightly spray a cookie sheet with Pam. Sprinkle about a cup and half of any shredded cheese that you like (no fat won't work as well, but low-fat or regular is fine) evenly over the cookie sheet. Sprinkle on any complementary spices (for example, with Mexican cheese blends, I sprinkle on chili powder, cumin and a tiny bit of cayenne pepper, over mozzarella I'll sprinkle Italian seasonings or some of a packet of dry Italian dressing mix; the possibilities are endless). Bake in a 375 degree oven for about 20 minutes. Cool completely, and break into pieces. Store in a zip close bag. This will make anywhere from 8 to 12 servings for me, depending on how many pieces I eat at a time. They'll keep for a long time if stored pretty air-tight. I've found it a savior to have some handy. Maybe it will help you, too.
   — Vespa R.

June 20, 2003
Carol, I don't know what your normal eating pattern is but perhaps your not eating enough or not frequently enough. First, think to yourself, am I actually hungry or is this head hunger (see it and want it)? The further out we get, hunger returns and we can eat more and so its natural to feel hungry and eat more. Because we have such small pouches to fill, and they empty rather quickly we get hungrier faster than the pre-ops who can fill a 30-40 oz tummy compared to our 4-6 oz. One of the keys to keeping the munchies away is to eat frequently, and in small amounts. Every 2-3 hours, eat something. Constantly eating fuels the body to keep burning the calories-its actually a good thing if you make correct choices. I wouldn't try it with all carbs!! Other than the deli meats on wheat bread, most of everything else you ate were carbs. Try carrying protein bars, or fruit with you. And the protein shakes is a good idea. Overall your still not doing bad with choices-graham crackers are certainly better than cookies! And having some carbs is normal and OK in my book if you can control it. I know others can't do this and have to eliminate or severely watch their carbs, but if you can do this, then having a few pretzels or graham crackers ( as opposed to brownies and chips) will not sabotage your weight loss. Don't beat yourself up, just try to make better choices and eat more frequently.
   — Cindy R.