Question:
I am single mommy two children 2 and 6 need post op care advice ?

My first concern is How long until I can hold my two year-old . Should I make arrangments for my children to stay with a friend and for how long ? And am I CRAZY for doing this alone with children ?    — jessica D. (posted on April 17, 2003)

April 17, 2003
When I had my lap rny, my son was 20 months old. I was on a lifting restriction for a month, no more than ten pounds. The way I felt, I was unable to lift my son, bend over to change his diaper, or hang over the tub to give him his bath. My hubby had to do all those things. Around 3 weeks post-op I was slowly venturing into doing these things again because I was feeling good enough to do so. But, I definitely needed the help the first few weeks. Is your 6 year old especially helpful? That may help you out. Also, I resorted to standing next to my bed with our son on it to change his diaper, much less bending than on the floor. Maybe you will do well, I don't know the first few days home I felt like I got hit with a mac truck and just wanted to nap. So, yes I think you will need help.
   — Dee ,.

April 17, 2003
I had my surgery last September, my kids were also 2 and 6. My doctor told me not to lift anything over 10 pounds, yea right my son was 10 pounds when he was born. I needed help, my husband had to take time off work and I must say I have the best mother-in-law, she was a BIG help. About 3-4 weeks after I was able to start having him on my lap and bending to change diapers. Its always good to have a helping hand, it takes a little while to feel like yourself again. RNY 9/02 was 213 now 137.
   — April G.

April 17, 2003
I lifted my son (then 2) and thought it was okay...it didn't hurt me... well it did... I have 6 hernias!! So I advise that you sit down, and have the kids crawl up next to you, that you hold hands, whatever it takes not to lift, bend, twist etc. You kids will understand. Eventually you can show them your scar and let them see mommy's boo boo etc. You can do it... I would arrange for some help, and at least a good 3 weeks, and beyond if you can get it... lifting though is very important listen, and know you can be hurt... I will keep you in my prayers. I know it'll work out for you, and If I lived near I'd help you...
   — MF

April 17, 2003
It makes a difference whether you're having lap or open. Open you are much more prone to hernia than lap, so lifting restrictions must be observed with open. I had lap and had no restrictions lifting, my youngest son was 2-1/2 when I had surgery, I didn't lift him for a week or so but after that it was fine to do so and I had no hernias or any problems. You will need help with the kids for either procedure, with lap I'd say get help for a minimum of 2 weeks and open for 4-6 weeks. You're not crazy, it's probably even more important for single parents to take good care of themselves so they can be there for the kids. Best of luck to you.
   — Margaret H.

April 17, 2003
I know what you're going through. I have open RNY this coming Tuesday, and am the single mom of a soon-to-be 3 year old, who loves to be picked up. She will be staying with my parents while I am in the hospital, and we'll both be staying with them until I can take care of things at home. I have tried to prepare her for the not picking her up part, but I know that will be hard when we're back home. Good luck to you, and you are not crazy for doing this as a single mom. If you ever need to talk with someone who understands, feel free to email me.
   — [Deactivated Member]

April 17, 2003
After coming home from the hospital (and I had lap RNY), I was weak and got dizzy from time to time. I could have gotten things for my kids (4 and 9) but I'm glad that I didn't have to. Now, there have been folks that came out of the hospital ready to go, but I wasn't quite that way. I would have a backup plan for caring for them, maybe someone to stop by for a week afterwards and check on everything or someone that you could call. I was only sore about a week and a half from the lap holes and I think I could drive after a week or two. Just sit down and have your two year old get in your lap on the couch or something. You don't have to pick them up to hold them. Put a pillow between you and them. Kids love giving the extra attention to you. At 2, they can understand that momma has had something done to her stomach and she's sore. You aren't crazy at all. I was a single mom before and had gallbladder surgery when mine were 1 and 6. We all can do things if we have to. Best Wishes!!! Melisa RNY 08/15/02 -87lbs
   — mbradley35

April 17, 2003
You are not crazy for having the surgery. I too am a single mother and planning to have the surgery. I am trying to become the best mom for my kids by being more healthy and I think that means surgery. Mine are 2 1/2 and 8 and I am hoping that they will be able to stay with their grandparents and father for my recovery time. Good luck to you!
   — Laura A.

April 17, 2003
I had lap RNY, and was able to come home and take care of my kids right away, (ages 12,9,6,2). I was worried before surgery that afterwards I would be home alone with my daughter all day while my husband and other kids were at work and school. I was just fine. I didn't even need to take naps during the day. My weight restriction for lifting was 20 pounds for the first 2 weeks, but I still could hold my daughter, just not pick her up. If you are careful, you should be ok. Just make a back up plan, you never know how you will be feeling at first. GOOD LUCK!
   — Sandy H.