Question:
What to tell Boss ,whose wife is nurse at hospital, about surgery?

Hi everyone. Maybe I'm being wimpy about this, but I am very intimidated by my boss when it comes time to tell him I have to take any kind of time off. Even and especially when it's just a doctor's appointment! So, now I that I have a date, I need to tell him that I will be having surgery, and plan to be off from 4-6 weeks. The problem is his wife works as a nurse at the hospital where I'll be having surgery. So, I'm not sure what to tell him, in case his wife happens to find out. I'm thinking that I'll tell him that I'm having surgery in order to correct a metabolic disorder, which will entail the cutting of my intestines. As a result I will be in a recovery period of 4-6 weeks barring any complications. What do you guys think? Thanks so much. Sorry I'm so long winded. - Autumn    — autumn F. (posted on January 16, 2003)

January 16, 2003
I think you should tell him the truth. If you think the wife working at the hospital is an issue, any kind of "embellishment" will quickly be dismissed when she pulls your chart to see how you are doing.
   — dkinson

January 16, 2003
Hello, you are not required to say anything more than you need time off for surgery. And being a nurse myself, if his wife is not involved in your care, then she better NOT be taking a look at your chart, that violates several federal laws....privacy of patients and "protected health information" is spelled out in HIPAA-- the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act --she is not permitted to even look at her OWN records, let alone yours. If you suspect as much, you may feel free to report her to the powers that be. Confidentiality is a huge issue, and not taken lightly by most of us. I wish you well in your quest, I am postop 9 months and "wasting away to nothing" according to some people LOL.....i am down 115 lbs, from 370 to 255 right now, about 85 more to go....Love, Nancy
   — Nancy D.

January 16, 2003
As someone who works in Managed Care I can tell you that you don't have to tell your boss anything other than you need time off to have surgery. The FMLA covers you being able to have time off for this as long as you have been with the company 12 months and the company has over 50 employees. As far as his wife is concerned she better not be caught looking at your chart or telling what she saw if she did look at your chart because of the privacy laws the other post stated. HIPPA is a big concern right now and it's just getting jump started and she would be putting herself up for a huge lawsuit along with the hospital where she works. Tell him it's personal and you need the time off and leave it at that. I know what you are going thru, I use to work for that very kind of boss till I had enough one day and told him and his know it all wife to kiss my (well you know) and walked out the door. Well we suffered a little but we lived thru it. Good luck with whatever you choose to tell him.
   — Annette S.

January 16, 2003
Hi Autumn: What a beautiful name! Remember this is only my opinion, but having worked at various hospitals for almost 30 years, I think it is valid. If you are having surgery at a hospital where you work or where someone who can find out information about you works, it is best to tell the truth. As a hospital worker, I can tell you that people will seek out your information if they truly want to know. If your boss feels that you are not telling him everything, he may ask his wife to look up your chart. If she is in a position to do so, she probably will. Although I would never betray a confidentiality issue, many in the hospital would discuss it amongst themselves. I know how you feel about dealing with your boss. If you truly do not want to tell, can you tell him you are having intestinal surgery, but NOT tell him at which hospital. If so, then they would not be on the lookout for your record. As a previous poster mentioned, you are under no obligation to fill your boss in on the exact type of surgery you are having. However, you have to work with this man after you return to work. Only you know if he would be annoyed by evasive answers. By telling him you have to have intestinal surgery, my guess is that no one would want to question you further. If you must tell him what hospital you are going to, and there is a remote chance that his wife can read your records, I would either tell him WLS or use the intestinal surgery, which is actually true. Good luck to you. It is a shame that with all of your other worries, you have to even consider this. Please let me know what you decide. I am interested. Love Grace
   — Grace H.

January 16, 2003
I would tell the truth. Family leave is not paid. (Not sure about this) but most companies pay you if you are on sick leave. That is what you would be on. Also, I am a nurse and honey believe me all the privacy laws in the world doesnt stop nurses from snooping in the computer when no one is looking. Thats the real world of nursing. Especially on the night shift. Good luck
   — Delores S.

January 16, 2003
Annette and Nancy are absolutely right! You don't have to tell your boss anything beyond the fact that you are having surgery. Why would he need to know? It's really none of his business. Would you feel compelled to tell him you were having a hemorrhoidectomy or a hysterectomy? Also, his wife my snoop around and find out what you are actaully hiaving, but it is none of her business, and she may even tell him, but he better never let anyone know, or he (and especailly his wife) could be in real hot water.
   — koogy

January 16, 2003
Because you cannot guarantee that his wife will not find out, I would tell the boss that you are having gastric surgery or abdominal surgery and leave it at that. You don't have to go into any detail and it is still the truth.
   — Cindy R.

January 16, 2003
I did not tell my boss why I was leaving for surgery. All he had to have was a note from my surgeon with medical necessity and the date. Medical professionals are bound by confidentiality law to not discuss your case particulars without your permission. HOWEVER, maybe this should be the start of you not being intimidated by your boss. Just take him into a room and explain how you are trying to save your own life, and I would refer him to this website. He can't fire you for trying to have a normal life. I think he is also a little smarter than to buy "metabolic disorder correction by intestinal cutting" and not know it is WLS. Give him a little credit and give yourself a chance to stand up for what you need. Good Luck to you!
   — Cara F.

January 16, 2003
You do not have to tell your boss anything other than you are having surgery. His wife may not "snoop" by looking at your medical record unless she is directly treating you or needs to know for her to perform her job. This is a federal law (HIPPA) and she could be fined and imprisoned for violating your privacy rights.
   — mc H.

January 16, 2003
You don't have to say anything. According to Patient Confidentiality laws, if his wife tells him ANYTHING, you SUE THE HOSPITAL!!!! AND YOU HAVE HER FIRED!!! I know because I work for a hospital! Good luck! In fact, call the hospital's Risk Management Department ahead of time and alert them to this little fact so they can keep a watchful eye on your medical records.
   — suitfugue

January 17, 2003
I just want to say thank you for everyone's wonderful advice. I just told him. I'd been trying to catch him in his office alone all day. I just caught him coming from his office by mine (I have a cubicle) and I told him I needed to talk to him. So, he kind of leaned up against my ledge, and I told him I have to have surgery next month. He asked what was going on and that he hoped it wasn't too serious. His eyes kind of bugged out of his head when I told him recovery time of 4-6 weeks. I avoided telling him exactly what it was for. :) I actually didn't give any specifics at all! He didn't hear me right,and thought I said next week. I told him no, they've been trying to schedule it for a while, but that it's not 'till next month. He's going to call the woman who used to do my job (she retired) to see if she'll come in and cover. See, I'm their in house travel agent, and I'm the only one. So, I guess he has a right to be nervous! But, I did it!!!!! YEAH!!! Thank you again everyone! You're all so wonderful!
   — autumn F.

January 17, 2003
I just want to say thank you for everyone's wonderful advice. I just told him. I'd been trying to catch him in his office alone all day. I just caught him coming from his office by mine (I have a cubicle) and I told him I needed to talk to him. So, he kind of leaned up against my ledge, and I told him I have to have surgery next month. He asked what was going on and that he hoped it wasn't too serious. His eyes kind of bugged out of his head when I told him recovery time of 4-6 weeks. I avoided telling him exactly what it was for. :) I actually didn't give any specifics at all! He didn't hear me right,and thought I said next week. I told him no, they've been trying to schedule it for a while, but that it's not 'till next month. He's going to call the woman who used to do my job (she retired) to see if she'll come in and cover. See, I'm their in house travel agent, and I'm the only one. So, I guess he has a right to be nervous! But, I did it!!!!! YEAH!!! Thank you again everyone! You're all so wonderful!
   — autumn F.

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