Question:
5 months post-op- feel like a failure. Really need support please!

I am 5 months post-op LAP RNY transected. I'm 22 years old, had no complications and lost 73 pounds so far, I'm so happy with the surgery, and am getting a better self-esteem. But I feel like I'm not doing anything right. This past month, I've been eating candy (my body only dumps whe it feels like it) and will occasionally have a few potato chips or pretzels. I go to college, so sometimes I will eat a slice of pizza (mainly eat the cheese and only a 1/3 of the breading) and the candy will be a snack size mini bag of M&M's (usually can't finish it) or some type of har candy that is 10 grams of sugar. I still eat chicken, cheese, yogurt, veggies and drink protein drinks alot, but I eat those bad thngs, too. And I have a glass of wine once a week, which I know is added calories. But I also don't want to do damage to my body. I don't know what is wrong with me :( <p>I lose an average of 10 pounds a month, exercise 2-3 times a week, which isn't that great. I have a chronic illness (debilitating headaches 24 hours a day for the pat 7 months) which has left me in a bit of a depression. I know I am still losing weight, but my biggest fear is for the future. When everything levels off, and then I'll still be making bad food choices and I will be one of those 10% this surgery didn't work for. I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen. I don't want to be obese anymore. I am actually in a size Large clothes and a size 14 pants, so I'm happy with that! I'm sure I will be criticized alot for everything, but can anyone help me or give me advice/suggestions to get back on track?    — Lezlie Y. (posted on October 29, 2002)


October 29, 2002
we all experience bad times. i am almost 6 months post op, and i have a struggle with some foods too. today i had about 7 m&m's and a piece of fudge. i have popcorn everyday. my loss has slowed the last few weeks too. Keep your chin up...Open rny 5-2-02 -95 1/2 pounds
   — candymom64

October 29, 2002
Dont be so hard on yourself. It is ok to have a few treats if you really want them. You need to forgive yourself when this happens so that you dont just give up and eat more than you want. If I want something sweet or starchy I will have a bite so that I dont become obsessed and eventually binge (as much as it is possible to binge with a new tiny tummy). I was starting to feel guilty over everything I put into my mouth and that guilt made me eat more of the wrong foods. Now I think ahead. About once a week we order pizza and I plan on eating one slice. I try to get more protein in at other meals and try to keep the bad carbs down that day to compensate. Then I dont feel guilty. It sounds like you are eating well most of the time. Your weight loss looks great. Take care. Mary RNY 6/4 -72lbs
   — maryburton

October 29, 2002
First of all, forgive yourself and let your guilt go. Next, you should try, if possible, to exercise more frequently. I've heard that even doing 20 minutes of walking everyday will curb your cravings for sugar & junk food. I'm HUGE junk food junky and I've started walking everyday (I'm pre-op and that's one of the doc's requirements) and it really is helping with my cravings. I also suffer from mild depression and it's helping with that too. Best of luck to you!!!
   — Nancy H.

October 29, 2002
You should talk to your doctor about your headaches--sounds like migrains(sp?) There are lots of drugs to relieve headaches.
   — barbara A.

October 29, 2002
First of all... you should have a lab panel to make sure that your cravings are not caused by an imbalance in your sugars. Second...It sounds like you exercising some self control when it comes to portion control. Where is it written that once a person has had a weight problem they are forever forbidden to enjoy some of lifes little pleasures. Moderation is the keyword. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you continue to lose and you are feeling good then what is the problem. I have a friend who has never known an overweight day in her life. She eats desserts, sweets and candies like you wouldn't believe. But her metabolism and body chemistry are such that she never gains a pound. Is this fair? Heck no! I used to just sniff the chocolate and I would gain five pounds. So my thinking is this...If I can enjoy a sweet every now and then and still manage to lose consistently, then by golly I deserve that now. I watched her do it for years! I know now what it takes to keep my weight off. You go Girl! Hang in there and good luck.
   — Sue A.

October 29, 2002
Hey Lezlie, Honey, you need to get control of this while you can. You've gone too far to start messing up now. Get rid of ALL YOUR SNACK FRIENDS NOW. You are re-training yourself to those bad habits that made you obese in the first place. Please break these habits now or you WILL regret it. It's easy to tell yourself, just a bite every once in a while is ok, but, those bites end up being pounds, those end up being LOTS of pounds. We good and get out of your pity box OK???? Life is too short and you are too young to do this to yourself again.
   — Leigh G.

October 29, 2002
Hi Leslie! I think you are doing great! I believe that "dieting" and only thinking of food as "good food" "bad food" is what helped make us fat to begin with. Look again at the rules for the pouch site.....and realize that if for the most part we put protein first etc......we are going to do ok. If you think I can never eat this food again you will eventually become obsessed with eating it .....and it could lead to over eating it. I am really trying to learn to listen to my body and eat what "tastes" good to it. Lately I am obsessed with a grilled chicken greek salad.....but when I want chocolate I eat a small piece and then I am satisfied. The craving subsides when I allow myself some of what I crave. This is all within reason of course.....but you sound reasonable. Stop feeling guilty!!! Food enslaved us for years.....now you control it. I think you are eating normal. And doesn't that feel strange? I am 6 mo post op.....down 72# and I am a 45 yr old mother of 5 and grandmother of 1. Pat yourself on the back you are doing fine.
   — mtelliston

October 29, 2002
Lezlie, I dont think you are doing bad at all! Everyone gets the urge to eat things that they know arent quite right. You are too hard on yourself. I would offer one suggestion only and that is to get involved with some type of a support group in your area or find someone (a friend, or relative) who could be your accountability person. If you would do what you know you are supposed to do each day( drink water, take your vitamins) and focus on the fact that you DOOO try to get your protein in and you ARE exercising, the little slip ups maybe wont be so devestating. God Bless You!
   — Stephanie B.

October 29, 2002
hiya! {{hugs}} take a deep breath sweetie! you've got a few issues you're dealing with...the first being the headaches. get to your doc - our body chemistry changes so much post op and as we lose weight...you should get a complete lab panel done AND have them check out your hormones. our fat cells process estrogen and as we lose weight, our body doesn't process the estrogen like pre op and estrogen imbalances can cause headaches. so go to your doc and let them know what's going on. secondly - your eating habits. personally, i eat small amounts of sweets if i want them (the little bags like you)and you know, if i had to deny myself foods i like i couldn't have survived - seriously. i eat pizza but its one slice not a whole pizza. i eat chocolate but it's a mini size instead of 1 giant size candy bar. if you are drinking your protein and centering most of your meals around protein then you are doing what you need to do. your weight loss sounds right on track. beware tho around 6 months most ppl hit a plateau - when that happens, drop the carbs as low as possible, up the protein and change up the exercise routine (try swimming instead of walking or add aerobics/tae bo something like that)...my first plateau lasted 6 weeks but it passed. keep up the exercise - that helps. and you can see if you can find some protein chips (i think they are made by "Kay's") at a health food store (i know you can get them online..i have the url if you want it)...they feel like you are eating carbs but they are more protein and its better than regular chips. i still eat regular chips ... i just don't center my meals around them. i facilitate a wls support group and i have TONS of info if you want i can email you a listing. also, someone else suggested a wls support group -- GREAT IDEA!! studies have shown we need at least 3 years support post op. if there isn't a local group you can find plenty online. cut yourself some slack sweetie! remember, the surgery was on your stomach NOT your brain -- you've got years of mental crud to deal with -- i also recommend counseling. i go and it really helps to have someone to bounce stuff off of. i'm always around if you want to talk. oh, and if the glass of wine is really just one glass, i wouldn't worry about it. make sure you're taking all your vitamins/iron/calcium too. feel free to contact me. [email protected] {{hugs]} kate open rny 6-14-01 pre op: 268lbs goal: 135lbs current: 126lbs
   — jkb

October 29, 2002
Hi Lezlie, just wanted to say what a great weight loss you have accomplished. You are doing great, so sorry about the headaches I have gone thru them in the past, and they are terrible. I have found a wonderful candy bar/protein that is so good it feels sinful. it is called Pure De-lite chocolate bar, comes in different flavors, I love the Dark Chocolate because it is so rich and filling, also Carb Solutions has a new candy bar our 0 Carbs and 0 sugar as well as the de-lite barl. The chocolate with almonds is super 140 calories and fills the place for me for real candy. I am too a junk food junkie, s I hope this helps you, also I try to drink more water and that seems to help the cravings, God Bless, Susie
   — lostitall

October 30, 2002
For goodness sakes, Lezlie, you are a college student. Of course you should have a slice of pizza and a glass of wine. The key to this surgery is moderation! what fun would life be if we had to avoid everything except chicken and vegetables and protein drinks?? When you finish losing weight, you should be able to eat the mini bags of candy, or have a handful of carbs, eat pizza and drink wine on occasion. I don't consider those bad food choices, I consider it living. Now if you told me you went out every night and got drunk, ate pizza every night and grazed on chocolate and carbs and fast foods every day, then I'd say you gotta get back on track. Ease up on yourself, you started at the same weight I did and at 5 months, you are far ahead of what I was! (I think its youth!)
   — Cindy R.

July 27, 2003
I saw your picture, and all I can say is WOW! You have accomplished a lot. You're too hard on yourself.
   — greg17




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