Question:
Am I a failure? I feel like one.

I had my surgery on May 1 (2002). I'm VERY short (4'8"), and weighed 253 at the time of surgery. I'm so extremely discouraged right now because I'm hardly loosing weight. I'm at 198 right now. But everyone I know of is loosing SO much faster than me. And in the last month, I've only lost 3 lbs. or so. In fact, after one bad weekend with parties and food-centered social events, I gained 4 lbs. And when I look back on what I ate, it was nothing in comparison to my old eating habbits, and I still ate less than all the thin people I observed. I just finished loosing that 4 lbs. Anyway, I do exercise, and I'm quite active now. I wrote to my Dr. and have an upper-GI scheduled on the 5th of September. I'm so upset, and worry that if in fact I've streched my pouch, or if my stoma is too big (what I suspect since I don't feel full for long usually), that my surgeon won't do a revision because I'm a failure and a risk. I also worry because right after surgery I lost my job and went on my husband's insurance which wouldn't have covered my surgery as much as mine did. I had 100% coverage, and with my husband's policy I would have only had 80% covered. Aso, if I have a revision to my stoma, how long is the recovery period?    — [Deactivated Member] (posted on September 2, 2002)


September 1, 2002
You are doing well! Look at the weight loss planner. If you lost 65% of your EXCESS weight (which is considered SUCCESSFUL)Then by Sept 1 you would weigh 199lbs. Keep your chin up! Keep in mind that even though you are eating less than before, some foods are higher in calories. You know, like my personal fav...ICE CREAM! Your body also need to adjust. You may not be losing pounds but still could be losing inches which is just as important. In fact my surgeon said the weight redistributes itself. Even when you plateau your clothes will fit differently. Don't get discouraged. You've come along way. Again I'm referring you to the weight loss planner! Good luck!!!
   — Michelle B.

September 2, 2002
Meryl, calm down. My goodness, your a worrier, aren't you? Have you stopped to consider that you have lost 55 pounds in 4 months? Have you also considered that you are a lightweight, and as such, your loss will be slower than those with much more to lose?? Believe me, we have all looked at the scale in horror when it shows a 2 pound or more weight GAIN instead of loss. It happens! Our bodies are trying to adjust to such rapid weight gain and some times it tries to hold onto that weight (plateaus) or even to add a few pounds. I sincerely doubt you have stretched the pouch-I was told they form the pouch from the strongest part of the stomach and its very hard to stretch it. The best thing you can do is to continue to work the program and not get discouraged, and do NOT get into the obsession of getting on the scale every day. Remember the basics- lots of protein, low carbs and low sugar, lots of water, vitamins and exercise. It will pick up again.
   — Cindy R.

September 2, 2002
First, congratulations on losing 55 pounds in four months! Plenty of us lose slower, believe me, and except for the first few months after WLS, few expect to lose weight at that fantastic rate in the long run, anyway. I won't repeat the other answers below, but I agree that it looks like you're beating yourself up over a minor plateau. Second, if you're getting really active and exercising a lot, you may be replacing fat with muscle, which may slow weight loss on the scale but means you'll be healthier (and smaller, and burning calories more efficiently in the long run!). Could that be part of the plateau too? Third, if you're really sure you're eating less than the thin folk, start writing everything down that you eat (try fitday.com), and figure out your proteins & carbs. Try to get a good handle on why the scale did what it did if you can, but realize sometimes it just plays with us, and that it happens to everyone, and it's normal. Especially after losing 55 pounds in four months! Enjoy!
   — Suzy C.

September 2, 2002
Hon, I know it can be discouraging when you dont lose as fast as others or you gain a few pnds, but something I had to learn as well, dont compare yourself with others, we are all different. I am a slow loser as well and have flucuated a few pnds here and there but all in all we are losing and we will continue to lose as long as we follow our plans. You are doing great in my book, keep up the good work and best thing to do is "think possitive" hugs
   — Deanna Wise

September 2, 2002
55 pounds in 4 months is not a failure. I have read where someone lost 68 pounds in 1 year. Everyone is different. People who weigh more, will lose more rapidly. My surgery was 05/13/02 I have lost 71 pounds, but I am 5'9" and was 310. SO you have only lost 16 pounds less than me, and I am foot taller than you and weighed 60 pounds more than you. You are right on schedule !!!
   — Sharon H.

September 2, 2002
The worst thing you can do is condemn yourself or compare yourself to others. I am a year post op and I went through the same thing. I was SURE I would be the one person it wouldn't work for... What I found is that activity was my key. Nothing to strainuous... but MOVE... also, I tended to UNDER eat. I began to lose more quickly when I loaded up on veggies (not a natural thing for me) and not starve myself. I found I had followed a pattern of making my outsides match my insides. Don't listen to that dark side that tells you nasty things about yourself. Look at all the other pics on the site and ask yourself, "Would I talk to them like that?" Keep your chin up... and you will get there. Maybe slower than some... maybe faster than others.
   — Dawn R.

September 2, 2002
As someone else suggested, go to the weight loss planner. It will give you an idea of weight loss over 18 months. The link is: http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/postopplanner.phtml . Sometimes I think we get "greedy" with our weight loss. No matter what, someone is always losing more and less than we are, it's so individualized. My surgeon said he likes to see a steady weight loss of 1/2 lb. per day average. Using this you are about right on track!
   — sheltie

September 2, 2002
Meryl You have lost weight You are comparing yourself to others and you are living on the scale. Are you eating alot of protein Are you abstaining from sugar and high carb foods Are you exercising Are you drinking enough sugar free fluids? Are you writing down what you eat. This is a life time committment and a learning experience to learn how to eat properly with a most tiny stomach. Pat yourself on the back for your weight loss. Consider every one's answer including my questions. Stay off the scale and see what happens in two weeks. Good luck Lynda
   — Lynda M.

September 3, 2002
Girl you just need a good old fashion loving pep talk. Quit looking at the weight loss. You feel better don't you. Reevaluate your diet. Remember we have to change the way we used to eat. I use the sugar free mints to satisfy that urge to have something sweet, which works well for me. You can do this. Just hang in there and keep on truckin...
   — Alrena M.

September 3, 2002
Hi Meryl, I had the same confusions that you have, and still kinda do. I had my surgery on Feb 27 and have only lost about 70 lbs. I was very upset and even cried because I was not losing like all the other people that have had the surgery and I could eat more than others that have had the surgery. I was also getting hungry faster. I had the fear that my pouch stretched back out too. One thing I did find out is you have to eat more protein and stay away from carbs. Only eat meat, 3 fruits and vegies. Eat slow, take at least 30 min per meal and dont drink while you eat or after. That flushes the food out of your pouch and can make you hungry sooner, plus your body doesnt absorb the nutrients that it is supposed to. I had to look at it this way. Everyone is different and we will all lose at different rates than others, and had I not had this surgery I wouldnt have lost this much weight ever, I would have gained it. So it will take me and you longer to lose this weight, but we will lose it. It took Carnie Wilson 18 months to lose 155 lbs, so we are pretty darn close to everyone else. Dont get discouraged and stay away from the scale. Only get on it periodically, the scale can be so discouraging and women retain fluids and just everyday body changes that men dont have to go thru. Oh also, drink as much water as you can stand. I can only do about 50 oz and I need to increase it, but the water helps to keep you regular (which helps git rid of fat) and keeps your kidneys healthy with this higher protein diet. Also if you travel(flying) your body will lose 1 pint per hour of water and you can get dehydrated very easily. Just keep that in mind. After I got so upset about this I really started studying the surgery, other patients etc and this is working for me. I just had to except that I might not lose as fast as others, but that might also be a good thing because of the access skin. As long as you eat slowly, eat more protein, take your vitamins,drink your water and try to exercise as much as you can you will lose the weight. I promise. Check out http://www.fitday.com that site has helped me a lot, it might help you too. feel free to email at [email protected] it sounds like we have a lot in common. Good Luck and you should be proud of losing 55 lbs. Could you have done it without the surgery? I couldnt have.
   — margaret B.

September 3, 2002
Meryl, You have received quiet a few replies. I will share what has helped me. It seems that I only lose weight about 1 week a month. When I ovulate through to the time I finish my cycle I don't lose and sometimes gain a few pounds. I work out deligently. I was getting pretty frustrate with myself and my weight loss or shall I say lack of loss. I am 6 months out and have lost only 55 pounds. When I go into my surgeon they measure my body fat percentage, BMI, etc. so I decided to buy a scale that measured my body fat percentage. When I was at my last appointment my fat percentage was 62%. I am happy to say that my fat percentage has gone from the 62% down to 43% in 2 months. Although I have only lost 5 pounds in the 2 months time I have lost 19% of fat. This is another reason why I tape measure myself also, because the more fat that is converted into muscle the more fat our body burns and our body shrinks even though the pounds don't indicate that we are shrinking. I will say that the denser the protein the longer it will stay with you. Protein first is the key to staying satisfied. When I think that I've stretched out my pouch and could eat a horse as they say, I eat my protein and I quickly learn that it hasn't stretched out after all. You are doing great. Keep up the good work and find a different way to monitor your progress you may be pleasantly surprised.
   — Tracey W.




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