Question:
How does a potential WLS candidate, like me, overcome the fears of complications?
Or worse yet...death. I am in the addictive "research" phase and still am afraid about post-op downturns. With two small children at home I would never forgive myself for "dying" and leaving them with no Mother. Am I being selfish to want this surgery. HELP...I NEED AN ANGEL! — Leslie Y. (posted on March 9, 2002)
March 8, 2002
You are certainly on the right track for doing your research --
congratulations! While there is a risk of death with wls, there is also a
risk of death with any kind of surgery and obese people are in general at
greater risk than those of a lower body mass index. However, the chances
of death are very slim.
Before surgery, I was also afraid of the risk of dying I am 57 years old
and weighed 355 and very "out of shape" and probably poorly
nourished due to all the junk I ate. What helped me the most was reading
the websites of the most morbidly obese and seeing their positive outcomes,
choosing a doctor I had thoroughly researched and had confidence in, and
going to a hospital that has expertise in dealing with bariatric surgery.
Also, it helped that my surgeon saw numerous people in his office who had
several hundred pounds on me. He's done over 5000 surgeries and I knew I'd
be a "piece of cake" for him. My surgery lasted only 1 hour.
Also, the risks of dying from the complications of obesity are greater than
the risks of obesity surgery. Many people who were diabetic before the
surgery no longer are, blood pressures normalize in many people and people
are much more mobile so that they can exercise.
I've read somewhere, that in general, people who have the obesity surgery
actually gain 5-6 years in their lifespan and although not sure of the
source, intuitively believe it!
Keep on reading the stories on obesityhelp.com. Look at all the miraculous
results. See how happy people are, even many of those who had serious
complications.
Also, my suregon told me that the people most at risk were those who were
much heavier than me and those who smoke. Good luck in your decision
making. Although there are no guarantees in life, I'll bet you'll be
fine!
— Linda V.
March 8, 2002
I just logged on to ask basically the same question. I read the answer
that another had written and realized she is right. On of the things that
helped me overcome my fear of having the surgery was somewhere in the
website where you could read the feelings of others experiencing the same
thing. It was amazing. In the back of my mind, I always new that my
obesity could cause me a multitude of health problems besides the ones I
already have but I never thought of it in terms of the weight could cause
my early death. I am two week pre-surgery and pretty nervous. I, too,
worry about leaving my family behind if something went wrong. There are
inherent risks to any surgery but the odds are in our favor. Good luck on
making your decision and keep reading through this website. It has been
such a help to me.
— Jamy V.
March 9, 2002
I remember feeling the same way before my surgery. I was so afraid I would
be in that 1% with serious complications/death. Why did I decide to do it?
I measured the costs of continuing to live a morbidly obese life as versus
doing the surgery. I wasn't going to be around much longer at 407 lbs. I
am now 1 year post op and SO glad I did this for myself.
— Terissa R.
March 9, 2002
The previous posters have done a great job of telling you reasons to have
the surgery. I'd like to speak about the 'selfish' part. I do NOT think
it's selfish to want to be a better mom to those precious children. Think
of not being able to participate fully in their lives because of your
weight. Now think of being able to play with them, go to their school
events w/o feeling embarrassed, be there for them as they grow up. I
believe it is an AWESOME
— garw
March 9, 2002
Sorry for the duplication. Hit the post button before I should have. The
previous posters have done a great job of telling you reasons to have the
surgery. I'd like to speak about the 'selfish' part. I do NOT think it's
selfish to want to be a better mom to those precious children. Think of
not being able to participate fully in their lives because of your weight.
Now think of being able to play with them, go to their school events w/o
feeling embarrassed, be there for them as they grow up. I believe it is an
AWESOME gift to them and not selfish at all.
— garw
March 9, 2002
Do you want your children to watch you die the death of MO? That was my
main push to have the surgery.. My children would be motherless if I didn't
guarenteed, by a slow and painful death they would have to watch, and there
was a meger chance of dying on the table.. I lived, I'm through it, and I
would do it again in a heartbeat! :)
— Elizabeth D.
March 9, 2002
As a surgeon, I can tell you, that fear before an operation is natural.
This is major surgery, and there can be major complications. You have to
be aware of them going into surgery, and accept that they might happen.
This is not an easy task. But you also have to look at the certainty of
obesity -- there is a risk of death 12 times that of non morbid obesity,
every year. The constant damage done to yourself, daily, from the heart
having to pump harder, the pancreas having to work harder, all of which
makes it difficult to consider the risks of surgery worse than the risks of
morbid obesity. You might die from the surgery, or you might have horrible
complications where you would be in the hospital for weeks, months, and in
rehabilitation. You might end up with a severe problem as a result of
surgery. But, for most patients, this is not an issue. The issue is that
you need to be prepared to undergo this major lifestyle change, and realize
that no matter what happens, you will be ready to change the way you eat,
exercise, and your entire outlook. Having fears is normal. Remember, you
can also diet and exercise, and that will cause weight loss -- no doubt
that it is safer, especially under a physician's guidance. But, weight loss
surgery provides a tool where you can lose weight faster -- but it is not
the end. You still need to learn to eat, learn how to eat, and you will
need to increase your activity. Some patients say, "if that is the
case, what is the point." For those patients I say, then don't bother
with the surgery, because this surgery is not an end in itself, but the
beginning of a new life. If you want a new life, and are willing to make
the journey, and willing to take the risks, then this can be the beginning
of a new life which has a better quality of life than you can imagine. Good
luck
— terrysimpson
March 9, 2002
hang in there terry. Its not our job ( i dont think) to convince you to do
the surgery only to back you if you so chose and also to try and ans all
your questions. I was so scared when i first heard of this surgery i ran
like a wild duck!!! Then i tt my husband and he calmed me down. I still
would sometimes lose sleep over it, and wonder what would happen. Would i
be one who had to go back and forth? I have a pace maker and HBP so that
would not be good!!!
Well, i made peace with myself and the surgery. ONe thing I did to ease my
mind was go talk to my surgeon. He calmed most of my fears and i felt more
safe after speaking with him. Make sure your surgeon is someone respected
and sought after!!! Dont do what a friend of mine did, and hurry it thu by
using someone of sub-standard skills. Its your life. Use it well. Im
almost 60 and now 60 lbs thinner !!!!!! Im very happy.
— Jackiis
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