Question:
Self-concious about being fat......yep I am......and SCARED of extra skin....

How do people feel about all this SKIN.....I know we can have plastics....but what about the waiting in between....I know someone who loves you unconditionally will deal with it BUT how romantic is sagging boobs, and hanging skin from stomachs, arms, thighs, BUTT???? And what if you cannot get all the plastics done......?? Yes this surgery IS to benefit my health...but there has got to be people out here who wondered about the skin issues....the sex....please post with how you felt.....THANKS    — [Anonymous] (posted on February 11, 2002)

February 11, 2002
Well, honestly, I am very concerned about the hanging skin. I have a lot of extra skin on the upper and lower abdomen, upper thighs, my butt and my upper arms. Yes, at times it is depressing. I NEVER in a million years believed that I would worry about it, but now that I'm 14 months post-op, it is a real concern. My hubby doesn't seem to mind, he's just thrilled that I'm so much healthier. I thought that would be enough for me too, but now I have real body issues. I didn't have these kinds of issues when I was 100 pounds heavier. I find myself more critial of the way I look than ever before. Therapy is helping, but the real help will come when I have my hernia repair/abdominoplasty this summer. I keep fantasizing about being rid of this extra stuff. I think it's normal to be concerned about it, but you have to try to keep it in perspective. I can, most of the time, but I still hate to look at myself naked in the mirror. With clothes on, it's not too bad, but when I change clothes or shower, I try to avoid mirrors. Some people don't have as much problem with extra skin as others, so you may be worrying over nothing. Try to focus on all the good stuff for now, and worry about that when you come to it. Good luck.
   — Maria H.

February 11, 2002
I really don't like all the extra skin. There are times when I get really depressed over it because I think my body looks like my mother's did when she got old and lost a lot of weight. That was ok for her at 75, but I am in my early 40's so I find it depressing. My breasts hang down almost to my belly button. I don't have a large apron but enough of one that it bothers me. I have no butt - it's completely flat. I have a small umbilical hernia that I need to have repaired and my doctor says he can do a tummy tuck at the same time - it would be about $5,000 out of pocket as my insurance WILL NOT pay for it for ANY reason. I am considering going for it. At one time I thought I would like to have my breasts done also but have since changed my mind. I had a car accident a few years ago that injured my breast and developed a HUGE hematoma the size of an orange that took a year and a half to go away. I had to have a biopsy in November and still have a small hematoma from that so I am afraid to have any breast surgery. The flat butt will be staying as I wouldn't consider surgery for that. I don't like the extra skin at all, but I didn't like all the fat that used to be underneath it a whole lot more!
   — georgiacarol

February 11, 2002
I just put some of my feelings on this topic in my journal. I am very happy that I had this surgery, the best thing I ever did for myself and my health. However, I do have sagging skin all over my body but mainly my tummy, boobs (what are left of them), arms, and inner thighs. I didn't think it would be that bad because I am only 28. Boy was I wrong! I am 32 pounds away from my personal goal of 123 and am wondering when I should go see a plastic surgeon. My husband really gets to me with his stupid comments. He says he is only joking, and that I am being super sensitive but I say enough is enough.
   — Dawn H.

February 11, 2002
Barb is right. Seven months ago, all I could concentrate on was how fat I was. It engulfed me. When I would meet new people,I knew they were talking about my weight. Seven months later and 130lbs lighter, I worry about my hair, or someother small thing that I wouldn't have concerned myself with at 320lbs. My weight isn't the first thing I think about anymore. I have sagging skin but it will get better and when I reach goal weight, I will have my tummy done. It was a good trade off... fat for skin. I feel much better, my attitude towards myself is much better, and my husband loves me any way I come. Romance really has very little to do with physical appearance and more to do with emotions.
   — Margaret B.

February 12, 2002
I have saggy, baggy boobies and a saggy abdomen. I'm having a Tummy Tuck in May and really look forward to that!! For me, when I'm wearing clothes I can forget about my body which is so obviously flawed because everything is concealed with smaller, pretty clothes. It's only when I see the "real me" in the mirror after a shower that I feel a little down about the sagging skin. Then I realize, I spend so little time in the nude that it really shouldn't make any difference at all. My husband could care less about all the sagging skin. Of course I can see how it would worry a younger person (I'm 41). I'm just so happy to be smaller and healthier that I don't even worry about the skin. But, I completely understand that people do worry about it. I don't know if this helped anyone. I'd just say the skin is alot easier to cope with that the excess weight. Best Wishes!!
   — ronascott

February 12, 2002
All I can say is with all the fantastic new positions you can do it in, and let's be frank -- the additional penetration possible because your big old belly's not in the way, not to mention that when you get smaller, you do also tend to get tighter down there... I don't think most men are going to find some saggy skin to be too much of a bad deal. :-) <p>My boobs are still really good, but I think that's because I'm still breastfeeding my 2yo daughter. When she weans I'm sure they'll deflate and I'll be singing the blues. LOL My belly is gross, soft and squidgy, but as I told my new boyfriend, it's all going to go away in May or June, so it's not so big a deal. My butt is nice and tight thanks to lots of time on the elliptical trainer at the gym (and some luck). My inner thighs are a bit of a disaster but -- LOL -- it's only really noticeable when they are together! When they are apart, or my legs are crossed, you can't tell. My upper arms are also saggy, but when I wrap them around my guy, he is not looking at them, he is looking at my much thinner and happier face, not at the blubber.<p>I guess you can see my point here. If you worry about it and point out your perceived flaws all the time, your lover is going to be turned off. If you're self-confident, make a little joke about it, and/or move closer or strategically so the terrible area's not in immediate view, it won't be a big deal. Focus on the good things that have come about since the surgery with your lover, and how much happier and more flexible you are, and they will overlook the blub just like you're pretending to do. <p>I'll keep these 20 or 25 lb chunks of unattractive flab for now... they're a good trade for the 107 lbs I've lost in almost 5 months and especially for the massively increased mobility, energy, and stamina I have. My lover knew me when I was my biggest (though we weren't together then) and you gotta love him... when I said something about my weight loss, he said "yeah, you're EVEN HOTTER now"... well, you know, that was the RIGHT thing to say, but I would hardly say that I was "hot" at 310 lbs... sweaty maybe, but not sexy. :-) He's a keeper!
   — Julia M.