Question:
Am i too unhealthy from my co-morbids to have wls?

for the past week i have been so depressed. this is not good because i am already under psychiatric care for major depression & am on meds. & yes, the depression is one of many co-morbids for me. i read the q & a's & message board every night. i have learned so much from all of u. a big hug & thank u for that. now i find i need ur support. i just spent my nightly hour of reading the wls pages & it popped into my head what i am so depressed about. my dear, loving & very supportive husband has voiced my inner-most fear! he thinks i am way too unhealthy to be a candidate for wls. he told me not to get my hopes up because he doesnt want me to be so terribly disappointed when i have my first consult with my surgeon in august & he tells me that awful 2 letter word 'NO'. my cariologist & pcp think i am a great candidate for the surgery & r encouraging me to do it. my cardiologist is even starting his pre-op testing next week so that i can bring the reports with me to the consultation. my pcp told me he knows just what to write if i run up against any opposition with bc/bs. so with these two positive attitudes from these great doctors, why do i have the nagging fear of being refused by the surgeon?    — sheryl titone (posted on June 21, 2001)

June 20, 2001
Because your husband is pushing your buttons. I'm sure he is just as concerned as you are and loves you but he isn't doing you any good by setting you up for failure. He isn't a Dr. The Dr's that know you are the ones that I would be listening to. It's normal to feel like something will happen to preclude you from having surgery. I felt that way all along. I still feel that way and my surgery is next week. Just another way of throwing negative messages at myself. The key is being cognizant of the negative messages and recognizing that it's just your mind trying to sabotage yourself. It sounds like you know what your head is trying to do so that is a start. While you're waiting for your consult, it is a good idea to continue to read Q/A on this site. But why not try doing some more research. There are at least 2 books on the subject (check Amazon). That may help to quell your nervousness. It helped me a lot. In fact, Barbara Thompson's book has a chapter for significant others that your dear husband may want to read so that he can learn how to properly support you. Good luck!
   — Kimberly L.

June 21, 2001
If your doctors think you are a good candidate, then you will probably get approved. I have bc/bs HMO of IL and had no problem getting the approval almost a year ago. Your husband may be nervous and scared for you which is why he is voicing his opinion. After all, as I'm sure you know, this is "elective" and major surgery. My husband, as well as my parents, were not in favor of me having this surgery. They couldn't understand why I would want to "do this to myself". Now, 90 lbs lighter, they are very proud of me. As far as the "depression and meds" go, that shouldn't be a problem. If your doctors haven't expressed concern about the meds thus far you should be fine. Let your doctors do the work; it sound like they are supportive and in favor of the procedure. Besides, once you have the surgery, lose weight, and start feeling good about yourself, you just may find the depression ease up a bit. I'm speaking from experience! Best of luck to you.......
   — cheryl W.

February 15, 2002
Is your husband a doc? No? Ohhh...well, then maybe you should listen to your doctors more than him. Go get yourself checked out and improve your quality of life!
   — Nicole0105