Question:
How do you know when the 'journey' is over?

The previous question about regrets got me thinking...exactly how is it that you know the journey is over? I mean, do you wake up day after day, week after week not losing any more weight and one day decide, "I must be done"? Is there a time frame in which you should still assume it's a plateau, and not just over? And what about gaining a few pounds back before you 'stabilize' at a certain weight, does that happen to everyone? What kind of psychological changes occur as you approach the 'done losing' phase in your journey? Are you happy, sad, frustrated, what? Then, when exactly is it 'safe' to buy a whole new wardrobe again? I know it's a lot of questions...thanks in advance for your answers!    — eaamc (posted on September 17, 2003)

September 17, 2003
I am still about 15 pounds from my goal, but I wanted to answer your question with my philosophy...there is not end of the journey. Us former fat people have a disease called obesity, and we must always monitor this illness, even when the symptoms are gone, they can come back if we slip into that thinking that it is over and won. Just like with diabetes, people can beat the symptoms, but must always watch what they eat, etc...so that is my answer. Mentally the journey is over when you stop thinking that you look/feel fat!
   — missmollyk

September 17, 2003
I agree, it is never over unless you are simply talking about the weight loss. And here again it is a lifetime of change to maintain that weight I am sure. I am also about 15 pounds from my goal and the changes that I am going through now are tough. Almost a "what now?" kind of fear. I still feel fat so that may be a while down the road before that one changes but I do feel better and stronger. I actually have done a little self sabotaging as my goal has gotten closer. I think that we are just so used to one way of life and this is just so drastically different. I will not let my fear stop me or make me fail but I cannot imagine that it is something that will not need at least some monitoring for the rest of my life. I look at my food issues as an addiction and like any addict I will have to keep the madness green in my mind so I never forget where I came from as I move ahead and LIVE. Finally! Thank God and my wonderful support system.
   — Carol S.

September 17, 2003
I always thought the most important part of the "journey" would come after reaching goal, since losing weight doesn't help much if we can't keep it off. I've been at or beyond goal for six months now, and finally I seem stabilized at my current weight for about three months. No "bounceback" yet, but it's still early and I'm watching carefully for that. I'm very happy to be at goal. But, I bought a lot of clothes for the size I expected to be at, not imagining that I'd lose weight beyond that point, and now they're all too big (moral of the story: don't buy too many clothes til you are done losing for real).<P>I still worry about what I eat, and about keeping up with exercise, due to fear of regain and fear of returning to my old bad eating habits (or developing new bad eating habits). I believe we will always have to be vigilant to keep our obesity in remission; it's not just gonna take care of itself once we reach goal, at least, that won't work for most of us. I think it's a lifelong journey. :-)
   — Suzy C.

September 17, 2003
For anyone who wants to stay successful who has had WLS, the journey is NEVER over. Unfortunately, we are all basically recovering addicts. The minute we forget to watch what we eat and forget to exercise and forget to tend to all those vitamins and minerals we need, our tool is not working for us and we are in danger of relapsing. This is a lifelong committment to good eating habits and good nutrition and physical activity. Anything less will set you up for going back to the way you were--and none of us wants that.
   — Cathy S.

September 17, 2003
The journey is your new and wonderful life. There is no end. I think what you are talking about is the honeymoon weight loss part of the WLS. Enjoy your journey with the new you.
   — cinchouli

September 17, 2003
I agree with the others that the journey is never over. But that doesn't answer your questions about when to invest in a new wardrobe. I'm only five and a half months out, and 38 pounds from goal, so I don't know when you know you've stopping losing weight. What I plan to do is to keep a sparse wardrobe. I live in the Midwest, where we have definite changes of seasons that require at least three wardrobes. My plan is to not buy much of anything in a size until I have been that size for the entire last season of those clothes. So, I won't buy many winter clothes until I have spent a whole winter in a particular size. Regarding bounceback: I don't think absolutely everyone regains, but my understanding is that the great majority will gain back about 10% of what we've lost before we stabilize. So, if you lose 150 pounds, you may very well gain back 15 of those. Another reason not to invest in an expensive and extensive wardrobe until you're sure you've settled into a size that you can and will maintain. I plan to keep all my clothes that are one size larger than my ultimate goal weight to plan for the bounceback. If a year later, they're still too big, then I'll give them away.
   — Vespa R.

September 17, 2003
These are all good questions. You have gotten some good advice on the "journey is never over" point, so I won't rewrite all of that except to say that I agree with it. About knowing when you are done losing: Like many people, I made the mistake of replacing my wardrobe too early. 12 was always my "thin" size, and so when I hit that I bought alot of clothes. They fit for about a month. I blew right past that size 12 and didn't stop til I was a 4/6. I couldn't believe it. Some of the 12s were able to be altered, but I ended up taking most of them to resale. That worked out well since I could take in clothes that didn't fit and go home with clothes that did fit without spending any money. Now I shop resale almost exclusively, It's fun! But you need to wait to buy a whole new wardrobe until you have been stable for several months and are happy with where you are. That will be different for everyone. Not everyone wants to be, or should be, a size 4. I turned out to have TINY bones and should have been a small-framed person all along. Who knew? .......................... About how it feels when you near your goal: I admit that I had a bit of nostalgia for the wild and wooly days of losing weight every single day. That was quite a ride. When people got used to seeing me thin, I kind of missed the compliments (even though I was also kind of tired of them.) But, over time, new good things hsppened. Like, I now wear the same clothes, season after season. I can pull a fall suit out of the closet, put it on, and it will fit. Every time. That's such a treat. ............................. I hope this has addressed some of your questions. You can email me if you want to explore it more. hugs, Ann RNY 9/10/99 260/124
   — [Deactivated Member]

September 17, 2003
I think it's over when you want it to be. Now, I won't be obese for much longer but I will always have obesity. So for me, it's over when I'm 6 Feet Under!
   — mrsmyranow