Question:
Do you find that you are even more self conscious of your naked body?

One would think we should all be so happy with ourselves after dropping more than 100lbs. But NOOOOOOOoooo, not me! LOL I am so self conscious about the panni and the mons area. I am heading to a second plastic surgery consult next week. In preparation for this I am gathering Letters of Medical Necessity from my RNY surgeon, PCP and OB/GYN. Today I visited the OB/GYN for this purpose. He's a rather conservative Catholic hospital-affiliated OB/GYN and looked at the sample letter I had put together. He was quite reluctant to make statements about impaired sexual function, etc. He basically sounded like he had no interest in being involved, even though I showed him the letter I got from my PCP. So I told him he really needed to look me over to see what I meant (he hadn't examined me since last year). So the nurse came in with him after I disrobed and he told me to lie on the table. I told him that he would get a better idea of the issues if I stood. You know I could see the look on his face, the change in his attitude. He grabbed the hanging pannus (which was nice and sweaty of course, like on que!) Poked around the mons area. Turned back to my chart, and said he would just change a couple of things in the wording and he'd dictate my letter this afternoon! On the one hand I was happy to be getting my letter but it sure stung to have my own feelings of disgust mirrored in the doctor's face. Don't get me wrong but he's a great doc, been there for me for years. Can anyone relate to the emotions involved in post-op nakedness? - Anna LAP RNY 7/3/02 -120lbs.    — Anna L. (posted on March 27, 2003)

March 27, 2003
I can sooooooooo relate to this. I couldn't stand to look at myself before my plastic surgery. Now I can't keep from checking myself out LOL. My stomach is still a little swollen, but I can already tell that it is so tight and the bat wings are gone (just a little swelling there as well). I know that as soon as I get my legs done, my self image will soar. It is funny that as I sit here, I am wearing a pair of boxers and a tank top. I haven't shown this much skin since I was a kid. Just a few weeks ago, I swore that I couldn't see a difference (even though I lost 138 pounds). Now, I can definitely see a difference. I thank the Lord every night for blessing me with these changes. Good Luck with the plastic surgery! Sincerely, Mary Beth
   — Beffy W.

March 27, 2003
I felt for too many years, trapped in my own body, never able to wear shorts, bathing suits, sun dresses, ect.. now that I've lost 135 lbs, I find myself still trapped within. Another summer is soon approaching and once again I will be stuck indoors, trying to find comfort from the air conditioner because the skin that hangs from my body is so grotesque. I feel like I can't live like this, and I don't have any way of getting the money to cure it. It's such a bummer that I fought so hard to be skinny only to find that skinny is still hidden within.
   — Tambi B.

March 27, 2003
Yeah I know how you and the other posters feel. In my case I doubt my insurance (Medicaid) will cover this. I too feel trapped as first it was fat, now the hideous skin that traps us.
   — Danmark

March 27, 2003
Anna, I completely understand. It's like a catch 22. Hated being obese, but now that I am thin, I still have a yucy body cuz of skin. Glad your doc ended up writing the letter for you, that should be a big help- but I understand getting upset about that, too. We never want others to think the same way we feel about ourselves (unless of course it's good!) I am 135lbs. and wearing a size 6. Am I happy? I don't know. I think it may be the perfectionist coming out in me again. Although I don't really have enough skin to get anything done, I am still unhappy b/c there are some little rolls. I cannot believe how much I hate my body. My stretch marks, my pubis area, my huge gross scars, my super saggy boobs. With clothes on, I look great, but I'm still afraid to wear tank tops, even though my arms look better than my friends (thats what they all say) I think part of it may be reality of what's there, but I also think some of it is how we're used to seeing ourselves. We're not used to looking like this, so it is not going to change overnight. There are alot of emotional and psychological issues post-ops have to deal with that sometimes I don't think we realized. I wish you the best and hope you can have your surgery- and like what you see then! Goodluck to you!
   — Lezlie Y.

March 27, 2003
Hi there, Anna! I can understand exactly where you're coming from. I am not at goal, but I have lost 100 plus pounds. Whereas before I had extra large breasts, now they're extra long! Ever see a dog with large ears have it's head out a window? The ears fly back, that is exactly what my arms look like without a shirt. I am extremely self-conscious now about showing myself to even a Female doctor. Even though all my doctors know that I've had gastric bypass, it still looks so funky to see me naked. How my husband can bear to look is beyond me, but he never tells me anything but encourgaing words. As self conscious as I am about what I look like now, I can't help but feel grateful that I don't wheeze all through my exams with the doctors, and the b/p cuff doesn't squeeze the blood out of my arm anymore. Also, as droopy and saggy as I am now, I do still look at myself naked. I cannot believe how far I've come and how different I look in comparison to before surgery, I may be flabby, but I am a more slender sort of flab. LOL. Vi open RNY 9/23/02 down 118 lbs.
   — Vi F.

March 27, 2003
I am right with you here on this one...I am dealing with this now in therapy...it is crazy. I hav lost about 100lbs..have about 30 - 40 to go...can't have any plastic surgery until August due to work schedule...I feel pretty good in clothers. I really wat to start dating again. I am really over my divorce and thought Iwas ready for this. Wrong! I am so terrified of anyone seeing me...even the facial sags and wrinkles. I am so miserable with my body. I cancelled a date last week-end, have another one this week-end and honestly don't know if I ca ndo this...I never thought it would be this bad. I am going to continue the therapy and hopefully get going on the plastics asap. I don't have any great worlds of wisdom..just that I can relate and empathize and feel supported by all the other posts here. Maureen
   — Maureen R.

March 27, 2003
Oh, yeah, DEFINITELY I can relate...after losing 250 pounds, I had 6 surgeries last summer and fall just to remove excess skin...She took off almost 40 pounds of tissue and really could have about 5 pounds more from my arms, but didn't want to risk the seroma complications I had with my legs and abdomen. I had huge bags on my arms legs and belly that looked like the skin of a scrotal sac. Now I look like a 44 year old woman who has been a little overweight all her life. I am frustrated by some of my remaining lumpiness and it is difficult to get everything, but I am, for the most part pleased as punch. I have over 5 yards of incisions (193 inches) on my body from all the cutting. I am waiting for the reddish purple lines to turn white and then I won't feel so much like Frankenstein. I now have a flat tummy, my thighs don't rub together at all, nothing flaps one way when I am going another, my butt is flat around the hips and I have no body folds on my arms. I would love to share pictures, but I might run for public office someday~! My insurance paid for the boob lift and belly removal and covered the hospitalizations for my legs because of complications. I paid for my surgeon's fee for my legs and for the hospital and surgeon's fee for my arms. Total cost out of my pocket: about $10,000. I had some inheritence money that helped, but some of it I just put on a credit card. Good Luck to all of you. I know exactly how frustrating it can be to be a walking waterbed.
   — merri B.

March 31, 2003
Oh boy can I relate! I'm a nudist. It never bothered me to flaunt my 370 pound body naked. Now at 245, I don't know that we will be doing any nudist events this year. I have a hugh bulge above my waist that I think is a hernia, a very saggy panni and my butt has slid down to the tops of my thighs. I still want to loose another 65 pounds before I even consider plastic surgery, I figure summer 2004, if I can get the insurance to pay for most. Sigh, who would have thought I would get vain with getting skinny.
   — Sunny S.