Question:
Surgery next TUES. I'm totally having second thoughts, Did you?

I have been so emational today, mainly because of my father....See my profile, but I am so very nervous and I cant really tell, if it's me or other peoples opinion that is making me feel this way. I'm almost crying now (no, its not that time of the month). I want the surgery, and have worked hard to get it, I just need some advice from you and not from someone on the outside.    — Karen W. (posted on December 6, 2002)


December 6, 2002
Karen, You have to pray and ask God for peace. I was very emotional prior to my surgery on 10/1/02 and when I went to church I would think about the upcoming surgery and would cry Sunday after Sunday. Then I said to God that I didn't won't to cry anymore and to give me peace about the surgery. The Sunday before surgery I went to church and I did not cry. Even while they were preping me for sugery I had such peace. One more thing. Please do not allow family and friends to put negative thoughts in your mind. If you have to avoid them, then that is what you must do.
   — Mary H.

December 6, 2002
It is normal to be emotional. My suggestion to you is to keep very busy. Be with the people with whom you are comfortable. Go to work on Monday, be busy and realize that Tuesday will be a very important day. I had LAP-RNY on October 8, 2002, am 8 and a half weeks out and down 50 lbs. Best move I ever made. Yes you will be emotional before and after but it will work fine. Lots of good luck to you.
   — Steve B.

December 6, 2002
I think that probably everyone here has had that second of doubt...it's only normal to question such a life changing choice.....so what I did was this...I took the time to first write down the pros and cons of this surgery. What I could not do now that I wanted to do, and what I would be able to do after the surgery. I also meditated often.. sometimes for 5 min, sometimes a bit longer. Meditation "always" clears my mind of any negative thoughts. But the very most important thing that I did was to turn my fears and anxiety over to God, and when I did that, I found myself calm and ready!! I simply put myself and this surgery in God's hands and I became very peaceful about my choice, and the fear left. Even as I entered the OR I had no fear about what I was about to undergo...I put my faith in my God and in my surgeon, and that is all I needed!! Now, I am almost 3 weeks post-op and doing very well I think....no regrets so far. I have chosen quality of life over quantity of food and I think the choice was a wise one! I wish you much luck and I will be sending you positive thoughts and healing prayers so you might be able to relax a bit before your surgery. Love and Light, Lisa C.
   — medium

December 6, 2002
What you are experiencing is perfectly natural. I had it before my surgery, and what got me through was realizing that Fear is an emotion, and that was a natural reaction to the uncertanties of an upcoming surgery. I also realized that when I first made the decision to have surgery I was thinking "logically" not reacting "emtionally" I just stood by original decision and trusted myself to make the right decision. I Did,at 2 weeks out I'm down 40pds. I made the right decision.
   — dkinson

December 6, 2002
You sound exactly like me before my surgery. I even just about bolted out of the operating room. Now I am soooo glad I didn't. Please read my profile it should make you feel better.
   — Linda A.

December 6, 2002
I had myself dead and buried, right before surgery, left final instructions the whole 9 yards. It actually turned out planning surgery was way tougher than having it. A month from now you will wonder why you wasted so much energy in worrying, I know cause I did. Fear is normal, but WLS saves so many lives. Drop me a email, if you want. If I had backed out jen and me would of both be dying of MO today. Rather than enjoying life. Together were down over 230 POUNDS/ My wife had WLS after me. It will be fine. POST OP IS THE PLACE TO BE.
   — bob-haller

December 6, 2002
Such wonderful replies. I didn't ask the question but I certainly appreciate the answers. My surgery is Monday and as I read the replies I was doing a mental check list of all the things I am feeling. I started the day out crying because I got an email from my cousin that read simply "Happy Holidays". Then I got a call from the surgeons office. See my surgery page about that one.
   — Pat B.

December 6, 2002
Karen, I think we all have 2nd thought at one time or another. but when you size it up as to where you are going with your weight. then your only answer is the surgery.i dieted for several yrs and never kept it off.I had lap gastric bypass a year ago i have lost 140 pounds and Ifeel so much better. i can walk where i want now don't have to get help to do my shopping.i had bad knees,hips and back.i am in such better health now. this surgery has saved my life. you will never regret having this surgery.i thank god every day for this surgery.i can't say i wasn't scared we all are. but i also knew i wouldn't live much longer with all that weight i was gaining every yrI'M STILL LOOSING EVEN AFTER A YR. IT'S ABOUT 6-8POUND A MONTH BUT IT IS loosing AND NOT gaining.tHAT IS WORTH IT ALL. i've went from a size 26-28 to a size 16-18 i never dream i would ever wear this size again in my life time.I'mm 55 yr.old and feel even younger.so don't give in to your fears, stand strong you will never regret it. god blees you.if I can help just let me know.nancy [email protected].
   — NANCY M.

December 6, 2002
My opinion: my surgery saved my life! I am 7 months out and have regained not fat but a life! I'm down--drumroll please--150 pounds! I have 75 or so more to go so I'm definitely not done but you will be amazed at how much better EVERYTHING is when the weight comes off--everything is easier! Ex.--walking, running, taking a shower, using the toilet, putting on hosiery, zipping jeans, shopping, going to a restaurant and not having a panic attack if seated in a booth that you're way too fat to fit into, sleeping, PILATES, YOGA, tieing shoes in the middle not the side, wearing a normal bra and not a double helmet, hugs are closer, kisses longer and dancing is easier! This is just a sample of what you can expect in a few months!
   — jenn2002

December 6, 2002
hi karen :) i know exactly what you are going through. i think we all go through this very thing. i was thankful to have such amazing support from both family and friends that it really helped me. my hubby didnt express his fear of it to me until it was all over as he didnt want it to change my going through with it at all. i was so scared karen but you know the more i thought about it, i realize that life is a risk just getting in the car to go to get gas. i also realized that at the weight i was at, my world could suddenly end due to heart attack and the like. i did much praying and meditating. im spiritual and was talking to god and all my loved ones on the other side asking for their guidance and their protection through this and the very next day, a song came on that i hadnt heard in years, this song i associate with a dear aunt i had lost some years ago and had been talking to her the night before. this may sound crazy to some but i took it as a sure sign that all would be well, and guess what... it was! :) im so thankful everyday that i did so well and it has saved my life in so many ways. its incredible! i dont regret a second of any of it.ill be praying for you karen and you search within yourself the decision that is best for you. god bless and good luck :)
   — carrie M.

December 6, 2002
I had WLS on Sept. 16th. It was my first surgery. I was scared to death. What kept me going was the realization of how disappointed I would be if I didn't go through with it. I felt so hopeless before surgery and the thought of ending that hopelessnes was enough to get me through. Best of luck and you'll be in my prayers.
   — Jamie H.

December 6, 2002
Karen, the day before my surgery, lap RNY, on Aug 22,02, I was having cold feet. I made a comment to my 18 year old son about being nervous about "no turning back after tomorrow". His comment to me was..... "Mom, why would you want to??????" It was the best thing that I could have ever done for myself. I have NO REGRETS. It was his comment that gave me the strenght to move forward and I've been moving forward since. Last night I went to Victoria Secret for my first time and bought myself some pretty panties for the first time in my life. I'M WORTH IT!!! AND SO ARE YOU
   — Peggy B.

December 6, 2002
Karen, I believe we all go through the fear of the unknown. I turned myself over to the Lord and said a little prayer. " Lord if I'm to live as a thin person then let me wake up if not then take me with you" I woke up and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I have new WLS friends on AMOS, I'm finally in a group where I belong and is respected for me and not overlooked because of my size. I can go places and walk without getting all sweaty. I can get rid of all those big baggy dark, trying to hide the fat, clothes. I get up in the morning and love life. I feel good about myself which I never did before. I'm 7 months out and lost 75lbs. this is slow compared to others I started at 294 but I will tell you if I don't loose another lb I am less then I ever was in a very long time- since high school and I'm 56 now, and no diet I ever tried was ever that success full as this wls tool that I have received. I'm glad I did it and you will be too. Trust all the people who have replied to your fears. We've been there and we understand and know the outcome. Good Luck and Gods Bless you. Remember good things will happen.
   — Janet S.

December 7, 2002
Karen, i was scared too.. i cried the nite before.. told my husband i wasnt going.. cried at the hospital.. i was terrified.. but i was more terrified to keep living the life i was living.. yes it is risky.. but in the end it was a risk i was willing to take.. It is all going to be ok.. email me if ya need to talk.. hope this helped.. btw..im a huge fraidy cat..lol..
   — johanna F.

December 7, 2002
Karen, I know how you are feeling. I cried the night before surgery, the morning on my drive to the hospital, when I checked into the hospital, and even cried a couple of tears waiting to be taken into the operating room. But, I knew my life was in the Lord's hands. I had worked very hard to get the surgery approved and waited a few months to get into see my surgeon. I knew that the surgery is what I really desired, but I was scared and that was natural. When I look back on my surgery experience the hardest things that I had to face were my own fears of the unknown (being under anesthesia as well as what I'd have to go through post-op), and my fear of changing my life by having the surgery. Follow your dreams...it's worth it! I'll keep you in my prayers.
   — lezawomack




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