Question:
Why can't I stop thinking about dying?
MY SURGERY IS SCHEDULED NEXT TUESDAY AND I AM PRETTY NERVOUS, I WASN'T AT FIRST, BUT NOW IT IS LESS THAN 1 WEEK AWAY AND I CANT HELP BUT LET THIS WHOLE DEATH ISSUE OVERCOME ME. I AM REDAY FOR THE SURGERY, BUT EVERY DAY I WAKE UP I WONDER IF THIS IS MY LAST WEEK TO LIVE. MY DAD WONT TALK TO ME, MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN ARGUING BECAUSE MY MOM IS SUPPORTING MY DECISION, EVERY QUESTION I HEAR IS ARE YOU SCARED.....ANY COMFORT WOULD SURELY BE APPRECIATED. HOW CAN I SET MY MIND AT EASE? — Karen W. (posted on December 5, 2002)
December 4, 2002
Your feelings are certainly normal - and understandable. You are about to
have major surgery that is not without risks. However, I can assume that
you've researched this option thoroughly and have read posts, questions,
and any current information you can. It's natural to be nervous about a
decision that will affect your life in so many ways. I suggest you talk to
people in your local support group, or read/post on the board here. You
are not alone and are making a very brave decision. Good luck!
— Marti R.
December 4, 2002
Hi Karen, first, congratulations on your upcoming surgery. Your fears are
perfectly normal. I had my surgery Lap RNY on Oct.10, 2002, just 2 days
before my son's 11th birthday. I was horrified about dying. I just couldn't
get it out of my mind. Most everyone in my family was supportive of me
getting the surgery. Well, I just KNEW I was going to die on the operating
table. It has now been almost 2 months since having surgery. Everything
went very well. I even did better than the doctor's thought I would. Try to
stay calm and I'm sure everything will go smoothly for you. Best wishes on
a speedy and uneventval recovery.
— Patricia C.
December 4, 2002
Sounds like me the couple of weeks before my surgery. Read my profile it
should make you feel better.
— Linda A.
December 4, 2002
What you are feeling is perfectly normal because it is a situation that you
are walking into on your own volition. It's not the same as waiting for the
bus to hit you or the sky to fall in. The best thing to do is to prepare
yourself for the recouperation for the optimal outcome. Plan on walking
plenty, use your incentive spirometer and drink the water they tell you to
and put your mind into the positive mode. As for Dad, it is natural for him
to be fearful for his little girl, but trust me, he will be so happy to see
how well you are doing afterwards and it will all work out.
— Sue A.
December 5, 2002
The other posts are good. Have faith in god - he'll get you through this.
Go to www.wlscenter.com amd scoll down "to significate others" -
let your dad read this. God Bless you. I'm about 5 months from surgery -
I'm sure I'll be climbing the walls too - Love, Sally, Harrison, MI
— Sally P.
December 5, 2002
To be honest, there is nothing anyone can say to put your mind at ease.
Only if the doctors were to come back and say, "this surgery have no
risks". The one only thing I can tell you is that you made this
decision along with hundreds of others. Any one who is having a surgery
that involves a risk puts fear in to their mind. You are expected to be
nervous, its human nature. If you are not nervous, then you are unlike
most humans. You can try to relax. I am nervous about this surgery and I
don't even have a date yet, I'm still waiting on the approval from the
insurance. But my nerves will probably kill me before I get on the
operating table.
— Luscious1 X.
December 5, 2002
My surgery is in 39 days and I'm nervous also but it doesn't have to
overwhelm you. What I've been doing that helps are these 2
things:<br>
<ul><li>First, exercise as much as you can prior to surgery.
It not only helps you get in better shape, but it makes you feel better,
puts you in a better frame of mind. It doesn't have to be much, take a
walk or if it's too cold out for you, walk your favorite mall a few times a
week. Perfect time of year for it!<br>
<li>Second, because it's so close to my surgery date now, I've asked
everyone around me to keep all negative comments about the surgery to
themselves now. They don't help and only manage to scare the daylights
outta us so close to surgery. Insist on only positive comments and you
will feel better about the surgery and your decision to have it. Don't let
others ruin this for you. They will feel pretty silly when they see you
looking and feeling great in a few short months!! Hope it helps, good
luck to you!!
</ul>
— thumpiez
December 5, 2002
I have surgery scheduled for 1/15, and have thought about the same issue.
My husband and I went through all the positive things that would reduce my
chance of morbidity, and it made me feel much better. Any time I worry now,
I trot out the list and feel much better. After all, the statistics are
just that. Chances of YOUR dying are based on your health and your surgeon.
Please think positively-- you will live-- positive thinking helps!
Did you thoroughly research your surgeon? Does he have a terrific record,
or has he botched many operations? I doubt you would pick the one who
botches operations; these are the doctors who raise the morbidity rate. If
you are going with a surgeon with a great track record, I'm sure that your
chances of Mortality drops dramatically.
Did you go through pre-operative testing? These tests are meant to weed
out people with serious problems that could be a problem on the operating
table. If something was found, and you are still going through it-- well,
now the doctor knows about it, and he will have the necessary equipment or
medication available. Same thing if you have a co-morbidity that could be
dangerous-- at least the doctor knows and can do something about it. If
you came out with a clean bill of health-- that reduces your chance of
mortality.
Best of luck and, again, think positively.
— Beth S.
December 5, 2002
Your fears are perfectly normal. You can read my profile and see that I was
in the same boat as you are now. What helped me through was thinking about
the improvements that would be made to my life versus they way I felt being
so obese. Talk your fears over with your doctor and if you are at any more
risk than most, I am sure he will tell you. I am 3 weeks out today and am
down 31 pounds. It's amazing to see the weight fall off. I haven't even
been cleared to exercise yet and it is still coming off. Be positive and
think of the future! Best of luck to you.
— LM O.
December 5, 2002
It is totally natural to be scared before surgery!! I too had the same
feelings before surgery. So much so that I wrote goodbye letters to all of
my loved ones! Now I look back on that and realize how silly it was! I was
severly stressed out about my surgery for the entire week before hand but
when it was only 2 days before surgery, my worry went away along with the
stress headache I had.
But you don't need to worry. They will take good care of you in the
hospital and the scary part will be over before you know it and you will be
on the road to a new life!! As for your father and his disapproval, ignore
it and wait to see how his attitude will change when he sees how
INCREDIBLY HAPPY you are because you will be losing weight! Don't worry,
think good thoughts!!! Best of luck to you!
— Jean T.
December 5, 2002
Karen...
Sounds like you are not the only one that is scared. It sounds like
daddy is a little frightened for his little girl also...Don't be to hard on
him...Explain to him how you feel and what this all means. It will help
both of you.
— Jon S.
December 5, 2002
So like me, left final instructions and everything. Guess what? I lived and
got to goal. Although I struggle with stress eating. Try to relax, soon you
will understand POST OP IS THE PLACE TO BE! If you have time attend a
support group meeting or take a post op to dinner, this relly helps.
— bob-haller
December 5, 2002
Honey, I felt the same way the entire month before I had my surgery. Your
feelings are understandable. I was like several of the people in the
previous responses. I wrote good bye letters to my children, husband, and
sister. I left instruction to my husband on how to handle everything if
something were to happen. I was so worried. When it came right down to
it, I finally realized how much I wanted to live. That's WHY I was having
the surgery. I had to remember that. Most importantly, for me, I had to
trust in my faith in God that He is ultimately in charge of how many days
I'll spend on earth. How wonderful you'll feel when you've made it
through. Life will be even more precious to you!!! You'll be in my
prayers.
— lezawomack
December 5, 2002
You're not alone Karen. With my surgery date Monday December 9th, I'm
right there with you. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer for you but
just wanted to let you know you are in good company!
— Pat B.
December 5, 2002
I was at a funeral yesterday the Pastor said Mark Twain had this thought
towards his own death! "I am not afraid of it but I sure don't want to
be there when it happens"!
— CYNDI B.
December 6, 2002
you're normal,, read some of the posted answers on question #41,,
— bruce M.
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