Question:
How do you REALLY make it through post-op?
I've read 100 times, of supportive husbands(i have none).Then there are the wonderful caring and compassionate children, (none there either). And let's not forget those co-workers we have confided in to tell them of this "CRAZY scheme" we are about to subject ourselves to for the benefit of being able to live a bit longer and healthier.( i'm telling anyone) My question then is , how do you survive all of the hungers,and pains, without the consolation of a hubby/boyfriend, and innocent children sharing in the pain? Who do I wake up tyo in the middle of the night looking for answers to my feelings of complete discouragement? HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THE POST-OP? I'm not desperate just VERY VERY CONCERNED. I've benn alone all of my adult life. I just need ......? — Elizabeth P. (posted on February 10, 2002)
February 10, 2002
elizabeth, not ever having walked in ur shoes i cant give u any advice but
i do want to tell u that if u need t.l.c. in the middle of the night, the
afternoon, morning or whenever, come here to AMOS & go to the chat
room. there r very wonderful people there at all times. good luck to u hun.
email me anytime u like.
— sheryl titone
February 10, 2002
ATTEND SUPPORT GROUP MEETINGS! This helps SO much, many of these folks have
been thru this, and can be a big help/
— bob-haller
February 10, 2002
Hi Elizabeth - Bravo for you - you took the first step and reached out.
Oftentimes feelings are overwhelming. I agree wholeheartedly with Bob -
take advantage of support groups. Chat rooms can help, too. But, if need
be - get some therapy. I don't know your financial situation or your
insurance situation, but if money is an issue, most communities, churches,
social service agancies, etc. have scaled and/or reduced fees si that
something should be available to you. As a therapist myself (who does
individual as well as group therapy), I would highly recommend group
therapy and, further, see if someone around has a "modern
analytic" orientation. I applaud your decision to have the surgery
and applaud even louder your seeking help. You are welcome to write to me
if that will halp you at all. Don't despair - there is help out there!
Good luck = Nancy
— Nancy Z.
February 10, 2002
I do have a supportive husband/family, so I can't pretend to know exactly
what you're growing through ... but I did lose a hunk of my support group
when I moved 3,000 miles across the country literally weeks after my
surgery. And out here, I have chosen not to tell anyone I had WLS. I have
found this site--and the in-person support groups here in Maine--to be
FANTASTIC! There are so many people willing to help you when you just
reach out and admit you need support. Posting your question on this site
is the first step. Feel free to email with any questions, concerns or
doubts!
— Terissa R.
February 10, 2002
First of all, may I offer my friendship to you? I also am single and
haven't wanted a husband after hearing most of my female friends go on an
on about how miserable and how lucky I am...although someday maybe the
right man will come along. And again, my daughter has moved away for
college and I know in my heart she'll never live at home again. So, it's
just me and the dogs and cats and God. I look at it this way. This is MY
time. It's time for ME to take care of ME for a change and w/o any
distractions at all at this point in my life, I'm savoring the opportunity
to start taking a new interest in my life. I'm three months post-op, down
50 lbs. as of two weeks ago. I don't weight myself alot....so if may be
more by now. As for support? This website is my support. They are here
for me 24/7/365 and it doesn't matter how silly or trivial my question is,
it gets posted 99% of the time and then there are answers galore. So what
you I do when I wake up at 3:00 a.m., can't sleep and have questions? I
either pray or get online and start posting my questions. Then the next
day, I have all kinds of replys. Look at the positive. Take this time to
take care of YOU. Just think of the ladies out there who are going thru
this journey and still have to cook for their families, hold down jobs, run
with the kids like they own a cab stand. We don't have to do all that. We
can concentrate on US. Think good thoughts. God bless you.
— Annie H.
February 10, 2002
I too was alone for the surgery. I am a widow with no children but I have
a wonderful group of friends that really supported me. I would be more
than happy to talk anytime you needed a friend. This surgery was the best
thing that I ever did for me. Soon you will lose the weight and you will
get so busy just living that you will forget all about how hard it is right
now. Just take one day at a time. Please email me at [email protected]
anytime. I will be your weight loss pal. God Bless You.
— DeeDubbs
February 10, 2002
I honestly don't have one thing to add to all these wonderful suggestions.
I just wanted you to know that without this site, my experience would have
been he** and back. Write to any of us and we will answer you. Do all
that has been previously suggested. We are ALL your friends here and all
want to help. It's why we still come here. Use "us" as your
family. Good luck and God bless.
— Barbara H.
February 11, 2002
Hi Elizabeth. I am single and live alone. I am 28 days post op open RNY.
As far as the post op pain, I was able in the hospital for two days and
then home alone. It is manageable. I spent a lot of time in the recliner.
Took a lot of little walks to get out of the house. For the mental
stuff...this website has been a godsend. I would be up at 3am with
horrible head hunger and come online and read through the questions and
answers list. I must have read them all a hundred times by now. I am
lucky that I have supportive family (mom and dad) and friends, and even
coworkers. I am still off work because I am a l&d nurse (kinda
strenuous) and they think I should be off work until march (!!! I am so
stir crazy). I have had coworkers come over and take me to the mall, to
movies. I work nights so I can also call my friends at work at 4 am to
complain or just so I am not lonely. If you are up at 2am feeling yucky,
come online...come to this website, or e mail me, I can almost guarantee I
will be awake! You won't be alone. =)
— Nichole B.
February 11, 2002
I often think I would have been better, the more time I had been alone
after I got home. I had the depression I expected in the hospital- that
would have been my only concern- feeling "sorry" for myself while
solitary- since this slowly fades, it would be the only thing I would have
concern about- and since I had suffered through it before after other
operations- I knew it would come. Anyway, besides that- I think staying
with the people I did- first my sister/family and then my friend/family was
almost HARDER- the constant "how are you feeling" or smelling
their foods cooking was very difficult for me. Had I been alone- I would
have not had to expirience that. Sometimes you are just too tired to talk.
Having a friend to check in on you is nice, but then so is being ALONE. I
tend to think we get this "wounded animal" mentality after
surgery, and we need to withdraw, and recover. Once you get to a point
that the drugs are out of your system, and the depression is over-
venturing out is less difficult. The message board and the Q&A got me
through, as did my TV.
— Karen R.
February 12, 2002
Elizabeth,<br>My husband was not very helpful during my surgery (he
took care of our daughter, but that was it, and then taunted me with food
and candy), and our 21 month old daughter didn't understand enough to make
things easier on me. I did have some supportive friends, and
<b>that's the key</b>. Find or start a support group in your
area, NOW. Go every single time they meet. Ask a ton of questions. Make
friends. They will be your best information source, they will visit you in
the hospital, they will celebrate your success and will understand your
struggles, and in the end, you'll have some skinny girlfriends that you
know really well. :-) Good luck with your surgery! I'm down 107 lbs in 22
weeks and have never made a better decision in my life!<p>P.S. I
started a support group five months before my surgery. Now we have an
organizing committee of 9 people and over 200 members! I've got a great
circle of friends out of it, fantastic information, and we meet twice a
month. This group has definitely made my post-op life easier and less
frightening.
— Julia M.
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