Question:
AMOS friends, I need your help... no sex drive
I have absolutely NO sex drive and it is getting to the point where it is ruining my marriage. My husband of over three years is really suffering and he is taking it personally that I have no desire to have sex, or do anything of a sexual nature, for that matter. I have talked to my doctor about trying some supplements like Avlimil or other remedies, and she doesn't really have an answer for me. My husband and I are starting marriage counseling on the 21st of this month, and it can't come soon enough. Have any of you been through this and if so, how did you handle it? Hugs, Kristy (lap RNY 9/18/03 - 332/187/166) — kristynush (posted on September 3, 2004)
September 3, 2004
Are you on anti-depressants. I heard that can decrease your sex drive
significantly. Also, I heard that fat stores hormones, so it would make
sense that we are a little off when we are going through so many changes.
You are just less then a year out. In a worst case senario you are just
gowing into a different person and growing away from your husband. Your
going to counseling is the best thing :) I hope this helps, I am no expert
by any means.
— Peggy Boyd
September 3, 2004
Boy can I relate. My sex drive stopped after surgery. I think it started
coming back after 10 - 12 months, but very slowly. Luckily I had an
understanding husband. He knew he had to put in an extra effort to get me
interested, lots of back rubs. Good luck to you.
— ckreh
September 3, 2004
My sex drive was nil for months after surgery. However 18 months post op it
has returned... And I am loving every minute!!
— Catherine B
September 3, 2004
Talk to your doc again . . . ask her about Wellbutrin. Get evaluated for
depression. Wellbutrin is an antidepressent.
</P>
There's nothing about WLS, except the resulting depression/hibernation that
should make you sex drive disappear.
</P>
For most of us, losing weight increases drive . . .
Good luck!
— RWH G.
September 3, 2004
Just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. I've struggled with this as
a post-op for 3 years. Have you talked to your doc? Mine did tests to
check my hormone levels. She did prescribe a testosterone cream which did
help, but seemed to increase my anxiety. I quit the cream and went back to
no drive. Depression can cause low libido, and I've recently started
Wellbutrin (about 4 months ago) which is suppose to help but hasn't. I'm
think about adding back the testosterone now that my anxiety may be OK
since I'm taking the Wellbutrin. Talk to your doc about the testosterone
cream. It may work for you. This is a physical problem, and it is hard on
the dh, but he has to understand it's not your fault. Good luck.
— mom2jtx3
September 3, 2004
It took about a year and a couple months after surgery to get back my sex
drive, and it has been awesome ever since.
— thekatinthehat
September 3, 2004
You are not alone. I am on antidepressants and my Doc tried changing the
med-didn't help. My hormone levels are fine by lab work (I am on Premarin
for Hormone replacement therapy). He suggested putting me on testosterone
(side effects include facial hair and weight gain)--I said no thanks. Save
your money and DON'T buy Avlimil! I took it for a year and it did
nothing!! I don't have an answer for
you but, wish you luck.
— LLinderman
September 6, 2004
I'm in the same boat--- zip, zilch, nada in the sex department. The funny
thing is that I don't feel depressed-- and I had issues with depression all
through my 20's (I'm 32 now.). I have had my hormone levels checked and
they are all normal, so there is no "magic pill" for me to take.
I don't know what to do-- testosterone cream is not an option for women who
are premenopausal. Sex therapy maybe? Best of luck to you.
— lizinPA
September 6, 2004
I will be 15 weeks post op tomorrow and I still don't feel much of anything
in that department--physically. My mind says "Hey it would be
nice!", but the rest of my system doesnt'seem to want to cooperate
without a lot of coaxing on my hubby's part. So.....if he's really in the
mood and willing to take the time to get me in the mood things are working
wonderfully! I'm not menopausal--just 43, not on anti-depressants--was
able to come off of those about 2 months ago, so I am assuming that the
surgery does something screwy with our systems.
— greeneyes1961
September 9, 2004
Kristy, I know every person is different but I am going on 3 years post op
and I still have no sex drive. I can't stand my husband to touch me most of
the time. I do love him and have been with him for over 17 years. I just
have no desire for sexual relations. It has caused tremoundous strains on
my marriage as well. I have seen doctors after doctors trying to figure it
out and I have taken every medication and cream they knew to try, viagra
included.
The specialist I saw said she didn't know what the problem was and told me
basicly "you don't use it, you lose it".
I wish you and your husband the best of luck and hope the counseling works
for you.
— Lynda T.
September 9, 2004
From the bottom of my heart I want to tell you how sorry I am for you... It
was exactly the opposite for me, before surgery I had no sex drive at all,
but then again who would want to at 315 lbs, and as I lost weight, I
fantasized about someone to be able to have sex with, I am divorced. Along
came my boyfriend and sex has been Great. Was sex fine before surgery?
Were there problems with sex before the weight loss? Has he been
understanding and helpful, since your surgery? Going slowly and not
rushing!!! Giving you time to relax. It takes time to get back into the
swing of things and It took me around the same time as the other girs have
stated here. But it has been good since. Take care and keep in touch. Let
us know how you are doing? email me anytime [email protected] Take care
and I will be thinking about you....
— Cinde S.
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