Question:
My 16 year old daughter is really worried about my surgery.

She is so concerned about my health and upcoming surgery/change in diet that she gets very angry at me and says the doctors are wrong. She says that she has learned in her nutrition class that consuming so few calories is bad for your health. It is against everything she has been taught (by me, previously also) I have not been able to clearly articulate why it will be healthy for me to eat so little. Does anyone have a clear medical/scientific explanation that I can give her?    — Jory M. (posted on March 2, 2004)

March 2, 2004
well its true new post ops go thru a state of malnutrition, that goes along with the FAST early weight loss. Although there are no malnourished pre ops. MOs are like warehouses overfilled bulging at the seams. She is likely afraid you might die in surgery and if she is heavy herself may feel she too will be encouraged to get WLS. Barb Thompson has a awesome book with a chapter for familys and friends of pre ops. The web address is at the very bottom of my profile.
   — bob-haller

March 2, 2004
Would she be willing to go to support group sessions with you or see the surgeon with you and ask questions. Have you explained that you need to have blood drawn several times the first year and each year thereafter (my surgeon does, anyway) to catch any nutritional deficiencies before problems occur? Good luck with this.
   — Yolanda J.

March 2, 2004
We all tell our children that low calorie diets are dangerous, and they tell them that in school to detour anarexoria (sp) but if you tell her it is medically suppervised and you will be tested for the rest of your life she may understand. Also on the boxes of slimfast and other low calorie items it states"not for use in low calori diets unless suppervised and recomended by a physican. She should get on this site and ask questions and do research too so she will better understand. and after about 6 months to a year you will be consumming around 1200 calories or more, like any normal non wls person. Good luck and I hope she understands the differance.
   — wizz46

March 2, 2004
Thanks to Yolanda and Bob for your helpful suggestions. I will try to take her to one of the meetings with me. That should help a great deal. As far as Bob's question goes, she is 145lbs at 5'5" and really beautiful but she worries constantly about her weight. Just today she admitted to me that what might be part of her concern is that she doesn't want me to eventually weigh less than she does. It never occured to me that she would feel any competition with me. I'm 46 years old! (Plus, I'd be very happy at 150-160lbs.) Phew, these teenage hormones are almost as tough as my pre-menopausal ones! Honestly though, I am trying very hard to get the support of at least my immediate family. Barbara Thompson's book just arrived and I plan to ask them all to read the chaper on "to all significant others".
   — Jory M.

March 2, 2004
My 17 (now 18) year old was worried, too, but he has seen the results. My diet and nutrition are more closely monitored than they ever were before, and I am feeling good. I don't eat junk anymore, and his eating habits have improved as well!
   — Tim W.

March 3, 2004
Hey! Im 19 and having the surgery myself- and my parents are the ones who are worried. So I know we are a little opposite, but here is what I told them: What is more unhealthy? Me eating very few calories for a while or me weighing what I weigh and gaining more?? They really understood that this surgery will save my life and now they are so supoprtive! Hope this helps!
   — Valerie03