Question:
Has anyone else had a nonexistant sex drive after their surgery?

I am a lil over 3 months out and im telling you my head is totally into sex. But my body just will not cooperate. ITs like it cant be arroused anymore. UGH..... Anyone else please respond. Thank you.    — Deborah L. (posted on February 4, 2003)

February 3, 2003
I know exactly how you feel I will be three months out next week. I had a wonderful sex life before surgery and now it stinks. When I do actually want it which is less often I get so discouraged that it isn't as good as it use to be sort of to say that I don't want to get disappointed again because my body won't cooperate. So your not alone in this ugly boat. Alicia
   — Alicia K.

February 3, 2003
Hi Deborah, you're definitely not alone on this. I don't know if its due to the surgery, or the fact that I turned 40, but sex is defintely different. My skin doesn't feel as sensitive, and doesn't really feel anything, whereas before, it was great! It's rather depressing. I just hope once I lose more, and get some firming up, I'll enjoy it again. I'm sure my husband hopes so too! Good luck!
   — [Deactivated Member]

February 3, 2003
Hi - Did you know that this question was asked on 1-30-03? Check out the responses to that post. It's in the last 3oo questions asked-- PLUS you can go to the Library section and look up tons of information on the subject too. Good Luck.
   — Sally P.

February 3, 2003
I am SO glad to see that I'm not alone on this one. I too just turned 3 months post op and have absolutely no sex drive. My husband is wonderful and does everything he should be doing to make it great for me, but it just isn't happening. I feel guilty because I love my husband more than life and don't want him to feel like it is HIM that I'm not attracted to. Unfortunately, I had this same problem before surgery due to my low self image and now it's not getting any better. I too hope that with some more weight my sex drive will return with a vengence.
   — Ruthie K.

February 3, 2003
i too am not interested in sex since surgery in sept. 2002. much to hubbys dismay. lol. hopefully it will come back soon.
   — Monica T.

February 3, 2003
After surgery you're body does a "OH NO, WHAT'S GOING ON????" Freak-out. Hormones are going nuts, your body doesn't understand why just a few months ago it could do so much more then it can now. And one of the (sigh) first things to react to any change (be it from abnormal stress to surgery) is the...well...sex parts. Mind is willing, body is not. Basically...you need to show your body that its ok to react to...dh. That its ok to "feel" like that. I suggest some serious fore-play. Make hubby aware that he needs to...do more...use lubricants if your body still isn't reacting...and take it slow...after a while your body will say "oh, this is nice!" and react on its own. Its just like having a baby or after being on cold medicine for a week or two (although most people don't notice this because when your sick, you aren't thinking about sex)....So HAVE FUN...try new things, but remember...if your mind is ready willing and able, your body will follow suit if you give it time to catch up.
   — Renee B.

February 4, 2003
hi there :) its a hormonal thing, your body will go through many changes for a while until the weight loss stablizes. i go through such extremes "cant get enough of your love" all the way to "get off and stay off" LOL, seriuosly though, things will hopefully get better in time. :) best of luck to you! :)
   — carrie M.

February 6, 2003
I have the opposite.........before I didn't want my husband near me and now, I initiate it. I don't know what happened, but he's happy! He was worried I was going to leave him after the surgery, but I have heard either your marriage gets stronger or folds altogether,,,,,,,,so I hope I am one of the lucky ones. Good Luck to you, I hope things change for you. Kim
   — Kimberly T.