Question:
Anyone else apprehensive about recommending surgery to others?
I have lost a lot of weight since I had the procedure done and people are amazed by how fast it has happened (down 150 pounds in 9 months). People are always having friends and family call me to recommend the surgery but I'm worried about how I'll feel if I do and someone has major complications or God-forbid dies from it. Anyone else feel this way? I know that people are adults and have to make their own decision as did all of us, but I think I'd feel terrible knowing that I played some role in their decision. I also want to add that I love talking to people about it and am totally for having it done if someone wants to do it. Thanks in advance for your help. - Mike — Michael N. (posted on January 24, 2003)
January 24, 2003
Michael, I have not had my WLS yet, see the surgeon in April, but please
try and remember when you were researching for your surgery, I think people
just want a honest opionion from someone that has been though the surgery.
I have diabetes and alot of times people that have just been told that they
are diabetic, think I know all the answers. I tell them about me, and give
them some websites that they can use to read, and remind them that this is
there journey. I want to congrats to you, WOW 150 lbs, I bet you walk
around glowing everyday, people see that glow and you inspire them. Hope
this helps, God Bless
— cindy
January 24, 2003
Michael - I feel exactly the same way you do! I'm down about 115 in 7 1/2
months, and have had people I've never spoken to before show up in my
office because now they want to do it to. (Rumor mills are great - I never
told anyone!) I would feel guilt to no end if someone did this
"because of me" with dire consequences. I tell everyone - "I
will tell you my story, I will share some of my resources BUT you have to
do your own research, meet and greet and decide which surgeon/procedure is
best for you. Ultimately YOU are responsible for your own health. Don't do
it because I seem to be doing well, don't not do it because of the horror
stories. Research for yourself and make your own decision. This is your
rest-of-your-life". I'm so glad to see someone else feels the same
way!
— Mendi M.
January 24, 2003
I run a support group for the BTC, I always try to tell people the good the
bad and the ugly. I always recommend reading as much as you can, there are
lots of wonderful books out there. This website is wonderful place for
information, people should go to support groups that way they get more
than one side of a story, I tell people they can die from this surgery,
that yes you can gain weight back, You can have trouble eating for the rest
of your life. Some people don't dump on sugar and then it is a struggle for
them, some have blood clots, have strokes, this is not a walk in the park
it is major surgery.
There are lots of bad things that can happen, but I believe if you are well
informed, and know your facts that this is a wonderful thing that can help
people. Most of us sail threw this and have little or no problems. I for
one will never regret having my RNY
I tell people about it all the time. Just be truthful and honest with
everyone you tell. I know how you feel, every time someone in our group has
surgery I am on pins and needles until I hear they are ok. Congratulations
on your weight loss :)
— domestic G.
January 24, 2003
Hi Mike!!
I love to tell my story. If it will help someone change thier life for
the better thats great!! I know when I was pre-op, I would ask anyone
questions that I though knew anything about the surgery. The final decision
is thiers and I am not going to try and convince anyone to have it because
I believe that we all have to decide it is the right thing for us or it
still won't work. Congrats on the fantastic weight Loss!! Keep up the good
work!!
— Sharon1964
January 24, 2003
I pretty much just relate my story to others. I felt like a 'missionary'
for WLS for a while, but this is such a personal journey and there is so
much information out there now that I don't feel I have to recommend or
not. Lots of times I just point people to this website.
— Cara F.
January 24, 2003
I also point people to this website to start their research and to learn
about others who have had this surgery. But I don't sugarcoat it and I do
tell them about the negatives and that this surgery is just a tool,
literally, and that if abused, and it can be abused, then it will not work
and you can end up suffering life threatening consequences and eventual
weight gain. I don't think that the negatives are discussed enough on this
board as most of the people who frequent this board are under 2 years out
and still in the honeymoon stages. I know that no one told me of the long
term negatives until after I had had the surgery. I don't regret the
surgery for a minute, but I know that I will have to work this tool for the
rest of my life to maintain and that is kinda scary.
— Cindy R.
January 24, 2003
Mike, you are just a finger that points to the moon. They will have to
decide whether they want to embark on the journey to where you point and
make that journey on their own.
<p>Also, it takes a lot of time from knowledge to action. Think back
to how long it took you to make your journey from contemplation to post-op.
In that time you researched and researched even more as your surgery date
approached (at least that is what is happening for me). And that time
delay will absolve you from any responsibility from mishap unless you
purposely deceived them which resulted in direct detriment e.g., "You
don't need to stop smoking.. your surgeon doesn't know what he is talking
about.. totally disregard any advice from the medical community"
etc.... Also the doctors will make sure they are fully aware of the risks
involved.
<p> Take Care, Be Well, and Be Happy!
— John T.
January 24, 2003
i never recommend surgery to anyone. However I will answer any and all
questions fully and honestly. Several people have approached me for info,
they are stunned at my sucesss, I give them the website, and if they ask
for more I give them my surgeon's number and invite them to a supprot group
meeting. I tell them it is a major serious decision, and it is a life long
change not to be undertaken lightly. For me many of the life style changes
have been difficult. I am good as far as not eating sugar , but I crave pop
every single day after nearly 4 months without it. (I hate diet pop and
won't drink it, I crave "the real thing") The several mini meals
a day are inconvenient with my job. I miss being able to eat with out
thinking about every single bite that goes in my mouth in regards to sugar
intake, protein intake and chewing and eating slowly. Good luck to all the
people investigating surgery.
— **willow**
January 25, 2003
I have never recommended the surgery to a soul. I do, however, openly
discuss my surgery -- especially around those who are also struggling with
obesity. Many times people will ask more questions and even get specific
information re: my doctor ... but I always tell people, "I can give
you information about how you can begin researching the surgery ... but
keep in mind that this is a very serious decision, and it is not right for
everyone. I wish you the best in your decision." That way, it's
clear that I'm not "endorsing" the surgery, so I won't be
"blamed" if all does not go well for the individual.
— Terissa R.
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