Question:
Why do I still feel like such a failure

OK, I just read in an answer to another question that RNY on the average offers that you will lose 80% of yout excess weight. I started out at 367 lbs on surgery date 2/22/02. I have lost 125 lbs now, I only have about 15 more lbs to go to be at that 80% amout of excess weight loss. Of course ideally I would like to see maybe 50 more lbs total gone. But because I still weigh 243 lbs I feel like I am such a failure. I am losing at a snails pace, not exercising much, and rebounding up and down as much as 5 lbs on the scale for weeks on end. Yet by what all the write ups say, anyone would put me in the stats for successful weight loss. Does any one else feel that way? BTW I am 6' tall and would love to weigh around 190.    — SARose61 (posted on December 18, 2002)

December 18, 2002
243 is still much healthier for you than 367. Bet you feel and look much better too. To lose 125 pounds is quite a success story. I can sympathize with the scale going up and down for weeks on end, playing with the same few pounds. I'm experiencing that now myself, and my surgery was just a few weeks before yours. This is the part where they told us that the pouch is just a tool. This is where the work begins if we want to continue losing. And we can, just that its no longer easy, and are we willing to do the work? For me, its bumping up the protein a little, and cutting down on the snacking, being more consistent with the water intake and the exercise. I'm working on all of it right now, but at holiday time I am finding it challenging to say the least. Don't feel like a failure, you are far from it. Look at it as a journey, that we have come so far, and just have to work at it to get to where we want to end up.
   — Cindy R.

December 18, 2002
Failure should not even be in your vocabulary. You are a success! You just happen to have a new goal in mind. To lose some additional weight. Don't focus on a number, focus on increasing your exercise because there is no question the goal to long term weight loss or to get your weight going in the losing direction is EXERCISE. It's not a 4 (8) letter word. Find something you like to do - bike, walk a dog, cut someones grass etc. You can find a way to increase your exercise. I've also read that people who want to reach that last goal find themselves having to go back to the basics that got them this far. Tow the mark with protein and water etc. Skip the snacking and sweets etc. and your body will cooperate.<p>Ihaven't had my surgery yet but have lost approx. 200 lbs before and I can tell you that exercise takes you a long way in this game. Not to mention it makes your heart stronger and biking is great for clearing your head. Good Luck! I know you can do it if you truly want to. Use the wonderful tool you have been given!
   — zoedogcbr

December 18, 2002
Honey, you are not DONE yet. Not ripe. You're just plugging along at the slower rate now. Deep breath. OK, another. You've still got more than a year left in your "window", and that doesn't mean much, anyway. Some get another loss spurt at 3 or 4 years! You're just taking STEPS now. Step, rest, step, rest...... That's how it works.
   — vitalady

December 18, 2002
I cant believe you asked the same questions i have been asking to myself. We are almost the same - i had my surgery on 2/22/02 and was at 362 on that day (height of 5'4. As of today i have lost 127 and am now at 237. But i am also going up and down a few pounds for the last couple of weeks. I have been watching my calories, upping my protein and water, but have not been excersizing. I know that is a big deal, but i am like you, i keep wondering if this is it. I don't want it to be over, so i am going to try to get to working out some (may not be till after the holidays) and see if that helps. I am so glad i had this surgery - i feel so much better and am to a size 20 pants and a size 18/20 shirt. Have not been there since i got married 16 years ago. So yes, i am happy with my loss, but do want it to continue. My personal goal is to be under 200 so i still have between 34-40 to go. I try to keep my hopes up, but at times i get depressed and wonder if it will happen, and then i remember what i looked like this time last year and have to smile! If you would like to keep in touch please email me at [email protected] - would love to hear from you. Take care and good luck!!
   — Tammy M.

December 19, 2002
Hi Rosemary, I am a pre-op waiting for my consult, i will probably be getting a VGB instead of an Rny because the wait times for an Rny in Canada in just disheartening. I am not in your shoes, and am here stuck at 310 till my surgery, but I wanted to say Congrats on your weight loss, 125 pounds is nothing to shakes a stick at, that is amazing, I know you want to lose another 50 pounds, but you are in no way a failure, because if you were, you wouldnt have got that 125 pounds off to begin with. Your weight is not goin gto come off as fast as it did in the beginning, from what i understand increasing protein and water intake help you loose, and excerising plays a big part on helping you with this battle.keep your chin up and be confident, because you arent a failure, you are a work in progess, that is really just beginning:) good luck in your journey ~~ Hugs ~~
   — Michelle M.