Question:
A request for all the
Fearing that you are not losing fast enough is a significant concern, one which I can appreciate, believe me. But the library is full of answers on this, and our profiles can offer specific details. Please consider NOT posting repetive questions. It seems like every other question is about plateaus, slow weight loss, basic vitamin questions, and how to wipe your butt post-op. All of these questions are answered extemely well in the library, which has a search engine. The answers there are much more detailed for the most part, than the ones you will get now, from people who have answered the same question 10 times already this week. Finally, SLOW LOSERS, consider this: some of us are losing much slower than you and still feel successful without you flaunting your disappointment in a much faster weight loss; some people are losing much faster but are sick as dogs and resent your perspective; some people have much more to lose and are tired of the comparisons; and finally, repeated questions and answers dilute the question pool and some people's questions are not getting the attention they deserve. NOTE: I am not saying these are not valid concerns, I am saying there is another spot on this site (library) where you can get better answers. — Karen F. (posted on July 14, 2002)
July 14, 2002
Karen: I hope your day gets better, but please step down off the soap box.
Has it occured to anybody that reading posts in the library gives
"black & white" answers, but sometimes all a person is
looking for is reassurance from a real live person that has been there and
done that. Is the message board only for people that either really good or
really bad news to post, or just to vent their spleen? How much effort
does it take to skip over the redundant questions? No need to take our
heads off just because you know the answers to the questions.
— Chris S.
July 14, 2002
I agree with Chris. Karen, you need to calm down. This is a POSITIVE place
for support - don't take your frustrations out on everyone else. Though I
can understand your frustrations, perhaps you could find a healthier outlet
for it - have you tried exercising?
Best of luck to you!
— Angie M.
July 14, 2002
I never get tired of people's questions. Everyone has different
circumstances and it is fair that each person has the chance to have their
issues addressed. It's easy to bypass (pardon the pun) topics that you are
not interested. Many on this site are going through a stage of wonder and
fear. They have limited resources when it comes to measuring process. We
must be patient with all here!!!!!! I am 5 weeks post and constantly worry
about staple line disruptions and other issues. I hate to think that I'd
run across a post like this during a time of distress related to my
surgery. I hope that this negativity doesn't become a trend.
— George B.
July 14, 2002
Take a chill pill. Are you that upset with the postings, or is something
else going on? It is real easy to bypass (no pun intended) what you are
not interested in reading. I do it all the time, however, for you to
"bash" questions that repeat, or postings that are for venting
purposes, is totally unnecessary. This site for many people is the only
form of positive feedback that they receive, so let them have it. Everyone
is their own individual and will lose their weight at different paces, but
if they are excited, let them be. If they want a recent answer rather than
one that was posted a year ago, so be it. I think you need to relax and
figure out if there is something underlying bothering you, cause this seems
a bit petty. I wish you well and hope that you come to peace with
yourself.
— Erika B.
July 14, 2002
Sorry if I was rude, but I myself am not in such a great place and the last
thing that I needed was to read something that was so unmotivating. So my
apologies to you for my lashing out.
— Erika B.
July 14, 2002
AMOS MOD HERE! While we will all have opinions PLEASE be nice! Thanks for
your cooperation
— bob-haller
July 14, 2002
I just wanted to say that I agree w/ the earlier posters. I for one am
nervous and scared along with being excited over my upcoming surgery. Its
nice to have a place to talk to LIVE people who have been there RECENTLY
and who understand what I am going through and feeling. This has been a
haven for me...somewhere I can go and people will care and listen...I
thought that the purpose was to provide information and an ear to listen
to. Forgive me if I was wrong
— Rebekah A.
July 14, 2002
Is posting about slow weight loss as bothersome as posting things such as
this book that you have written. Yes the library does have a lot of info
in it, but I found that when I would look at the profiles of those people
to see where they are now, they never did update. Not everyone has access
to a support group and they have a question or two or they need to be
reassured about something. You know, there is always someone who will
complain about something. Sorry if I come off as rude, but everyone
deserves a fair and equal chance to ask questions or vent just as you did
by posting this comment.
— Cory F.
July 14, 2002
Karen, there are Moderators on this website that decide which questions
will or will not be posted. I suggest that if this website annoys you so
much maybe you should try yahoogroups.com or ivillage.com There are new
people coming to this website on a daily basis. A lot of them don't know
what the library section is yet. I know when I first came to this site the
Q&A was the first place I went.
— Kim B.
July 15, 2002
Wow! Okay then, forget I mentioned anything. I had two objectives on this
post: to illustrate that the "slow losers" are losing at their
own pace and may be doing much better than the rest of us (8 weeks post,
down 30). Also, I read most of the posts and it seems like the detail on
some of them is missing on repeated questions. Did I really come across as
hostile in my question? I didn't intend to. Given the passion behind the
responses, please forget I mentioned anything. ... though I don't think
there is anyway to interpret my question as a "soap box". Come
on, I'm "here" every day -- does one "bad post" warrant
such hostile answers? BTW, this question went through the moderator...
— Karen F.
July 15, 2002
I just re-read all of the responses. You all make good points. I am VERY
sorry that I voiced the minority opinion is such an offending way. In
retrospect, I see the passion behind your answers is why I find this site
so rewarding. I am sorry. I will realign my perspective. I would like
you all to re-read my question and consider that I was merely ignorant of
the outstanding tolerance level out there, not trying to defeat the cause.
Thanks.
— Karen F.
July 15, 2002
Sheez, you guys were a little rough on the poster! I understand her
frustration, and they replies also have validity. Still, I don't think she
deserved the verbal whiplash she recieved! Dang!
— Karen R.
July 15, 2002
Karen, I appologize if I have offended anyone on this site with my recent
questions (one being about slow loss). I researched the library, and did
not feel that I got my answer. I met a lot of nice friends by asking it,
though. I also helped a woman very anxious about the butt wiping thing. I
just thought I, like everyone else, had a right to post a question. I hope
your days all go better than this one has, God Bless, and Good Luck with
your success.
— Tina B.
July 15, 2002
I COME HERE EVERY DAY. MOST DAYS MANY TIMES. I THINK OF IT LIKE MY WLS
BIBLE. I HAVE SEVERAL BOOKS ON THE SUBJECT AND SINCE I AM SO NERVOUS AND
EXCITED AND SCARED I FIND MYSELF RE-READING THE SAME PAGES OVER AND OVER.
I ALSO, RE READ THE MESSAGE BOARD OVER AND OVER. COMING HERE I AM FINDING
THAT I AM NOT ALONE. THIS WAS THE FIRST PLACE IN MY LIFE I EVER FELT IT
WAS OKAY TO TELL MY WEIGHT, TO TALK ABOUT PERSONAL PROBLEMS SUCH AS HYGENE,
TO BE ME AND BE ACCEPTED. SO, WE MAY ASK THE SAME THING A LOT, AND THAT'S
PROBABLY NOT GOING TO CHANGE. I FEEL LIKE MY LITTLE BOY ASKING, "ARE
WE THERE YET?"
GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE.
— Pam G.
July 15, 2002
[email protected] : Gabby, apparently you sent this to my e-mail
accidentally instead of posting your feelings here on the Q&A forum.
Since your post probably reflects EVERYBODY's sentiments here on the site
(as opposed to mine which reflected nobody's sentiments), I thought I would
post your response here. Everyone, here is what Gabby sent to me: WOW who
pissed in your cherrios????
I think you may need a LIFE if repeat questions is your bitch.
Or perhaps UP the welbutrin babe, your attitude isnt needed here.
Have a nice day :0)
I cannot see anywhere on my post that it says I was annoyed or frustrated
about repeat questions. I can't even see negativity. But the responses
criticizing MY negativity are extremely ironic. This may be my last visit
to the site. Apparently, this crowd is not the compassionate one I had
thought it was.
— Karen F.
July 15, 2002
You know what... you are entitled to your opinion, but I don't think you
have a right to tell people how to or what to post. While I agree, there
is usually information in the library, I've used it a lot myself, there
isn't always the answer you are looking for. In addition, sometimes the
responses are more than a year old -- and we all know, things change fast
in WLS and there can be new things to learn about. Also, because each
experience is different, I don't mind reading things again. If you really
don't like it, just skip it. You have the ultimate control over your own
behavior and no one elses. You can skip things that bore you.
— Lisa C.
July 15, 2002
I too find repetitve posts annoying sometimes (like the same question 3
times in one day), but I have asked questions on here that I am SURE have
been asked before. I DO search the library, but most of the time I get so
many answers that I don't have time to read through every post that has the
word "hospital" in it. So, then I post the question on here
anyway. It is easier, and I don't need to take a half hour out of my day to
read through everything in the library.
— fropunka
July 15, 2002
MAYBE EVERYONE SHOULD TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND RELAX. I THINK THAT EVERYONE
HAS A RIGHT TO VOICE THEIR OPINION NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. I'M NOT GOING TO
BASH ANYONE FOR THEIR OPINION. IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH THE POSTER, WHY NOT
JUST SCROLL ON BY TO THE NEXT COMMENT OR QUESTION? TAKE CARE EVERYONE!!!
— nikki R.
July 15, 2002
KAREN WAS JUST POINTING OUT THAT YOU MIGHT GET MORE DETAILED ANSWERS TO
SOME QUESTIONS IN THE LIBRARY. ALSO, IT'S NOT A REACH TO UNDERSTAND THAT
IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO LOSE 30 POUNDS (HAVEN'T WE ALL BEEN THERE?) THAT
IT IS A BIT DISCOURAGING TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE COMPLAIN THAT THEY ONLY LOST
50 IN THE SAME TIME FRAME. LETS NOT FORGET EVERYONE HAS FEELINGS. I
PERSONALLY TAKE PROZAC, AND THANK GOD FOR IT. I WOULD BE REALLY OFFENDED
IF THE FACT THAT I MADE A COMMENT CAUSED PEOPLE TO CUT ME DOWN AND SUGGEST
I NEED MORE MEDICATION. THIS IS THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE TREAT THE OBESE NOT
THE WAY WE TREAT EACH OTHER. PLEASE LET'S LET THIS GO. KAREN IS ONE OF US.
— Pam G.
July 15, 2002
Unquestionably unnecessary behavior: [email protected] I am truly
shocked & saddened how quickly this site gets viscious. Strange
indeed, especially, when the majority of us have come so far in dealing
with societys' discrimination and bad attitudes; You'd think we'd be the
most tolerant- yet we eagerly pounce on those around us.
— Karen R.
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