Question:
I have 2 godsons that live about two hours away afraid to sacre them...

Hi, I am wondering how people explained the surgery to young chilldren. My godsons are close to me emotionally but live two hours away. They tend to remember me through photographs and visits every other month or so...The older godson is 4 and is very bright. How did you explain the surgery/weight loss to the children in your life? Thanks Tracey    — Tracey L. (posted on April 19, 2002)

April 19, 2002
Tell them the truth. You have made some healthier changes in your life and have changed your bad eating habits for good ones. Its true. At 4, that may be enough of an answer for him, but if he asks, you can go into how you want to be more active and fun. If he is still curious for more details, tell him a Doctor made your tummy smaller.
   — Mary C.

April 19, 2002
I agree with the previous poster. The 4 y/o may be interested for a couple of minutes, but really the whole thing will bore him. My 8 & 6 y/olds don't know the full extent of what I did. I kept it very vague. They don't need those concerns at that age. And I didn't want them to start worrying about eating too much and then they think that they might have to have the surgery too if they do. You don't know what goes on in the minds of the little ones. Especially those with a vivid imagination. Just a couple of weeks before my surgery (and I waited 8 months), I told them that I was going to the hospital to have my stomach fixed because something was wrong with it. Which is true, it was too big! And then just proceeded to explain that I was going to be sore for a little while and that they would have to help mom out here and there. They asked a few questions, I kept the answers really dull and vague, and they got bored with the subject. And they now see me eating healthier and being active, therefore the explanation for the weightloss. Something as serious of this sugery should not be put on the shoulders of young children.
   — Cheri M.

April 21, 2002
I don't think you need to say anything. Young children really couldn't care less. When I had my surgery my twins were 4 1/2 and they were told NOTHING about my surgery or anything. Mom went on a trip for a few days. They never noticed the weight loss and it has never been mentioned. They just are not cognitively mature enough at age 4 to really care what is happening to others. They are still extremely self-centered. If my 4 year olds who live with me never noticed my eating differently or the weight loss, then I would not think it necessary for you to tell these young children who you see infrequently. They just won't get it and are too young to care. They will just be as happy to see you as they were before. Shelley
   — Shelley.

April 21, 2002
I was wondering something on the same line as this question a few days ago. I am a pre-school teacher for 3-5 yr olds. I have a student returning in the fall who has been with me since he was 3. He is one who needs consistency, does not deal well with change of any sort. I am afraid of what his reaction might be if i look different than he remembers. I have worked very hard with this child and don't want him to regress. I was thinking of asking his mom if we could set up a time once a month during the summer just to say hi so if there is a big difference in my appearance it wouldn't be so shocking for him in the fall. ~*Jodi*~ ><{{*>
   — Jodi D.

September 9, 2004
I have two nephews, ages 6 and 4. My sister asked me to give the 6 year old a quick explanation. I just said "I am going to have an operation because I am too heavy and have to be smaller to be healthier. I should be just fine, and every time you see me, I will be a little smaller." I also told him I loved him, hugged him, and asked him to wish me luck. Several hours later, when I left, he ran up and hugged me and said "good luck, Aunt Valerie!!!". He had seemed fairly uninterested when I told him, yet he certainly listened. My husband babysat him and his little brother a week later (I was a week post-op, and my sister had to go out of town to attend our Uncle's funeral), and he said to my husband "tell Aunt Val I'm so glad she's OK and that she should never ever have surgery again"! So it obviously did concern and worry him somewhat, but he is a very concerned and emotional little guy. My younger nephew, though present through all of this, never commented. Since I don't have kids of my own, I guess I can't comment other than to say that the six year old was ready- he was caring and concerned, and while worried was also easily comforted and was well supported.
   — Valerie L.