Question:
Having difficulty cooking meals for my family, does anyone else?

It has been three weeks since my gastric bypass. I am trying to not think about all the foods that I can not eat, and eat what I should. My husband has been giving me a very hard time about cooking for him. I do cook for my two boys, and there would be pleanty for my husband to eat, and he refuses to eat it, because he is on a high protien diet, and wants whatever he wants which is not known to me. I am getting a lot of flack from him. I told him to make his own meals, because I am having a hard time with not being able to eat what everyone else is. He says that I am just not wanting to make him anything, I told him that I make 6 meals a day. Has anyone else had this happen? What do you think I could do?    — Tammie M. (posted on February 22, 2002)

February 22, 2002
I am also struggling with the family dinner. I have the mind set that if I can't eat it anyway, I don't want to work in the kitchen for it. I used to cook a nice meal almost every night. Now I would just rather throw together some mac & chz or chk nug for the kids and then eat something quick when I get hungry. But that leaves out my husband which leaves me with the guilt. He doesn't say anything about it, but I still feel guilty about not preparing that nice meal. I just don't have it in me anymore. You could mention to your husband that not pushing for the dinner would be a great way for him to be supportive of your efforts. But what to do about the dinner? I hope someone can give some good advice, cuz I surely need it myself.
   — Cheri M.

February 22, 2002
Hello! You mention your hubby's on a high protein diet...aren't most post WLS diets hi-pro? See if you can find some good hi protein choices/cookbooks that could meet both your needs...And show Archie Bunker how to use the stove while you're at it (ha ha!) Good luck to you : )
   — [Anonymous]

February 22, 2002
I told my husband before I even had surgery that I wouldn't be doing any cooking during my 6 weeks I was on liquids/puree. He didn't have a problem with that. Either he or my daughter would fix dinner. I don't know where you are with liquids/regular food, but it should get better when you are able to eat regular food. You should stick mostly to protein food so you should be able to eat the same things he is eating. In the meantime, tell him you just can't do it and ask/tell him to fix his own. It sounds to me like this is about more than food. Is he not happy that you had the surgery?
   — georgiacarol

February 22, 2002
I dont have any problems cooking for my family... havent from about 4 weeks on. You have to think about what makes a food good for a RNY post op... first of all, it needs to be mostly protein, low fat and low carb... then it needs to be very soft and moist. SO... fish and chicken meet those criteria... plus cook them in a moist method such as braised or 'stir fried' with a sauce and add a few low carb vegetables and dinner is served. Just a few ideas for you. Chicken cacciatore (boneless chicken thighs simmered in a jar of Paul Newmans spaghetti sauce until the meat falls apart practically), turkey meatloaf, baked catfish with tomato salsa, roasted turkey breast with low fat mushroom gravy (make a package of dried Knorr turkey gravy mix using water only and add some mushrooms). Low carb vegetables are the ones that arent sweet or starchy... like spinach, broccoli, lettuce, tomatoes, cukes... so make a little steamed spinach with garlic OR a tomato and baby lettuce salad to go with the baked catfish with salsa. To make a moistening salsa... just dice a few ripe roma tomatoes, add finely chopped red onion, a little fresh cilantro, the juice of a lime and some hot sauce. Mix them together and put a spoonful on the baked fish or grilled chicken or pan sauteed shrimp or scallops. Your family will love your cooking and you can eat it too! Everything I make has a sauce or salsa.
   — SusanMaria

February 22, 2002
I don't believe that this is about cooking dinner for your husband or not, but about some other issues in your marriage. It wouldn't hurt to get some counseling. The two of you need to get your issues out in the open so you can figure out what is going on and then how to take care of it.
   — garw

February 22, 2002
I cooked all kinds of things I don't like. For me, that's quite a few, actually, but for my dh, it was pretty exciting for awhile. I just went through my cookbook and cooked everything that had no appeal for me. I ate what I ate and he ate my experiements, and was pretty happy. Of course, the alternative would've been what I was eating, so he was WAY happy about that. He had surgery a year after I did, so when I was cooking for ME only, I just ate all the things HE hates. Pretty good deal, huh?
   — vitalady

February 22, 2002
Not trying to toot anyones horn here but I purchased the cookbook for gastric bypass peatients from Victoria and lemme tell you there are plenty of high protein recipes that are available. I am 5 weeks post op and still on liquids but I cook for my family using that and I know it is healthy and I know soon I will be eating this too.
   — Melody F.

September 10, 2003
Hi Im 13mos post op -121 now 133 size 12, I to have problems planning meals still I never know if Ill beable to eat at all from one day to the next. My husbands my food cop still he says he is so scarred of something coming apart. I just cook like I did before and so what I throw away alot of food. Food it to nurition the body well if a few bites is all I can eat and the cat or garbage gets the rest so what the food served the purpose it nurished my body. I do tend the have other family members over for meals to one share food and to to help keep from wasting good food this helps. God Bless
   — niteshadow181

October 16, 2003
I had my surgery (open RNY) on 9/29/03. I am only 2 1/2 weeks post op but I find myself having the same trouble. I think it will get better once we can eat some of the same foods as the rest of our family. While we are still on liquids and pureed foods I think we will have to make 2-3 different foods per mael but just look to the future...it won't last forever! LOL Good Luck and happy cooking! :-)
   — shannonj

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