Question:
Will I really need someone to be around after surgery?

I have recently moved to a place (because of school) where I really dont know many people. My family is not going to come through on this situation, so I am not even going to hope for that. I wanted to know if I would physically be able to get along the week or so after surgery? I think I can get a nurse to come in once a day or so (not sure if that is covered by insurance), but I can work something out. What are the realistic things that I am not going to be able to do? I am obviously taking off of work and school for 3 weeks, but what about the practical things? Bathing? Dipping into the fridge? Washing clothes? Do I need to slow down and have everything worked out before surgery? Can anyone give me some realisms. Dont mind if they are gross!! Thank You. Tara    — Tara J. (posted on October 11, 2001)

October 10, 2001
hi i havent had surgery yet, what type are you having? I do know after gall bladder surgery, i just needed someone a day or so. It was nice to have someone in case....i asked my surgeon if i would need someone and he indicated that probably not BUT is nice to have help. Because after you are sometimes medicated and sore. If you could have a friend or two (pastor/wife/school friend) drop by and make sure you were ok , washing done put into dryer...that kind of thing. And if you needed someone to run to the store. I hope you find that special person. I have a husband and kids that will help for 3 or 4 days. I personally think its the wise thing to have someone around if possible.
   — Jackiis

October 10, 2001
Hi Tara, A lot depends on how big you are ( are you able to do all these things now?), the type of surgery ( open / LAP)and your living situation ( lots of stairs ) . I had OPEN RNY almost 3 months ago....and had a husband and daughter around but I milked the situation for all I could!!! HA!! Didn't do laundry or a dish for a month! Could have but didn't! I did feel tired for a full month but by week 7 felt great! You will be restricted on lifting so store up on all your groceries...sugar & fat free goodies,protien suppliments & vitamins, personal hygiene items etc. Get the house in order...fresh sheets to greet you when you get home and a table with all supplies (phone, blanket, pillow, tissues, trash bag, magazines etc.)by the TV and your comfy chair. I bought 2 caftans/mu-mus from WalMart - wore one home from the hospital and lived in them for 3 weeks...nothing underneath in case I needed a fast dash to the john and didn't have to worry about the bra rubbing my staples but I looked ok in case someone stopped over. Showering, fixing your hair and putting make up on daily is important to a speedy recovery...if you look good you will feel good and move around alot more and then heal faster! Lastly...ask the surgeon if there is a support group or another patient that you could contact in case you need some assistance or someone to talk to. Good luck! Diane
   — Diane Z.

October 11, 2001
You have received some wonderful answers to your question but, here's an idea too. When I first came home I had a shower chair for the first week. Was wonderful to sit down when you start to get tired and you do get tired in the shower. Seems to take longer because you can't move around as quick. Makes washing your hair much easier too. Hope everything goes good for you...debbie
   — deborah D.

October 11, 2001
At the time of my surgery, I was actually caring for my elderly mother. I did arrange for a home health care worker to come in to help her for the first week after I got home from surgery. It was really just so that she wouldn't be bugging me and I could get some rest. The home care worker also took mom out to eat and to the grocery store. A Home Care Worker might be a good solution for you. They come for a couple of hours each day and help you with whatever you need..whether it is to prepare a meal, go to the store or help shampoo your hair. Actually, I know now I would have been fine without any help at all, but there was some peace of mind in knowing that someone was coming to look in on me.
   — Anne G.

October 11, 2001
Yes, you can do it. Especially because you're starting on the "low" end. My BMI was 44 when I went in for surgery, and I absolutely took care of myself--and my 6-year-old daughter--with no real help from anyone (I completely understand the family situation). So I'm living (and losing!) proof that it's entirely possible. But if you can, it's nice to have someone around to help you out. It sucks to be alone. :(
   — Suzanne B.

October 15, 2001
Tara, I don't think you are going to need any help. I started out with a BMI of 53.3. I had Open RNY on Monday, came home on Friday, and Friday night prepared my 20 month old's dinner. I didn't pick her up and carry her until Sunday night, but I did everything else for her. I did a load of laundry on my own Saturday night, slowly. I felt great by Monday (one week post-op) and have never really looked back. At four weeks post op (today) I have so much more energy and stamina than I have had for the past few years!<br><br>I do know Suzanne in real life and watched her go through this (though was out of tune enough to not realize I should offer to help). :-( Her six year old was able to be helpful sometimes but even without her help Suzanne would've gotten by. Almost everyone owns enough clothes to not wash stuff for a week or 10 days and you are going to wear the same comfy things a lot those first few weeks anyway.<br><br>The one thing I did do beforehand was to buy a whole bunch of bottled water. I like to start each day with a fresh half-liter bottle, then through the day, I refill it with tap water. I just like the convenience (for measuring purposes) of having a fresh bottle each day.<br><br>As for wiping my bottom and other personal hygeine things, I was completely over it and made the nurses help me in the hospital. I must say that even the female nurses do a surprisingly poor job of this; it seems to embarrass them. It's just a bottom. Oh well. I guess having a toddler in diapers gets you over this particular awkwardness! By the time I went home, I was able to take care of business myself (though those Cottonelle moist wipes helped me feel cleaner) and about 10 days post-op I was able to wipe my butt without any contortions! It felt so nice (sorry) that I wiped like three times!! LOL It's the little things in life that make you feel better about yourself. At your size, I doubt you are even having trouble in that department anyway, so it's not going to be much harder post-op.<br><br>Ultimately, I would ask for a local angel from this site and then stop worrying. You will do fine!
   — Julia M.

October 15, 2001
Shower chair is a must. I have had several surgeries in my life and a shower chair helps so much. BUT, I have never had much money, and never enough to buy such an expensive item as a shower chair, so I use one of those $5.00 white or other color plastic chairs like you can get at Wal-Mart or K-Mart and they sit nicely in the tub or shower. :-)
   — Sharon H.