Question:
I accidentally swallowed a large piece of food. Am I doomed?

I"m 7 1/2 weeks post-op from distal RNY. My husband brought home a calzone with a deep-fried pastry-like crust (I know, I know). The filling consisted of the ricotta cheese and ham. I begged him for a taste; I just HAD to have a taste. IT WAS SO GOOD!!! I had one of those way before my surgery, but it never tasted THIS good! __Anyway, I ended up taking 3 mouthfulls, but with the first one, I accidentally gulped down a large piece. I chewed to liquid the rest of it. What will happen now? Will it break down in my stomach or will it sit there indefinitly & block the stoma? OR will it be able to pass thru the stoma whole? A few hours after swallowing it, when I went to bed, I felt some sharp stabs of pain in my pouch area, and then that was it; no more pain (so far). Could that have been the food passing thru (I hope!)? I know I should not have eaten it in the first place, but it was too tempting. I told my husband to NOT bring stuff like that in the house. I've been telling him over & over, and he keeps on doing it. Cookies, chips, cakes, icecream, etc. (btw, he's morbid obese & in denial) I'm really beginnig to hate him because it's like he doesn't want me to succeed. Why is he doing this to me? And if I go & throw the bad food in the trash, then I'm a bitch and all kinds of other bad names. I really have no fighting chance with him constantly sabotaging my post-op diet. It's hard enough dealing with myself - my cravings (yes I"m taking my protein but sometimes I get "breakthrough" cravings) and my food demons. But then he comes along with all the delicious no-no's and it's like "the straw that broke the camel's back". You need super-human strength to resist caving in & binging. I say to him, if you HAVE TO have it, then go out somewhere & have it, but not in the house in front of me. He seems to resent that. ___Hah! I guess my original question evolved into more! _____Please, can someone tell me that everything will be OK with that accidental gulp I took. And how do I deal with my husband who seems to REFUSE to help me stay on the program.    — lalasmommy (posted on July 13, 2001)

July 13, 2001
Oh Alexandria...SHAME SHAME SHAME!!! Ok, I'm jealous. I want a calzone too. Ha ha. I'm fortunate to live alone and not have the temptations you have. But geez if you made it through the night it seems like you should be ok. Have you had anything else to eat since then? Have you had a BM (sorry!)? I would assume that if you are able to eat/drink with out any probs and have had a BM (or are at least passing gas) you should be ok. Of course, let me preface this with the fact that I'm only 3 weeks post. Hopefully it scared you enough to not do it again. I think I will have the same problems as you. I feel virtually normal and want to eat regularly and will probably forget sometimes too. Anyway, regarding your husband...he is probably wanting you to be like him so that it makes him feel normal. How many times have you had friends lose weight and you feel like you're the odd woman out? Almost as if you'd be happy if they were still fat. The same thing applies here. This is his issue not yours. Its in his head but hard for you when he brings the goodies home. The only thing I can say is to buckle down and the next few times he dares to eat anything in front of you, pull out a protein shake or something nutritious and say, "I am so amazed at how I don't want that kind of stuff anymore". Sure you're lying through your teeth but it will make him see it's not working and he will soon stop. Good luck!
   — Kimberly L.

July 13, 2001
You have to keep in mind that it is YOU who chose to have WLS, not HIM....think of all the people you've known over the years who were losing weight, dieting, etc...and you were not...you didn't have any desire to do so...you were still enjoying your obesity-causing eating habits and somebody ELSE couldn't force you to change just because THEY were changing.... My husband is not obese, but he, and my four normal-weight kids can eat anything and everything they want - and they DO!! I can't expect them to alter their lifestyle just because I'm weak! The change has to be in ME - I have to be strong! That's just life - I will spend the rest of my life around people and in situations where people will be eating stuff, and in amounts that I used to....but, I cannot and will not - ever again! That was my choice to improve and prolong my life!
   — Cathy J.

July 13, 2001
My husband eats my favorite fried chicken in front of me and it drives me nuts!! I am 4 months postop and can't tolerate the grease in the chicken. When he brings the chicken home I go out to the garage and do some crafts. Or I go into another room in the house and clean or go on the computer. Anything to keep me from wanting that fried chicken. After he is done with his meal, I will go out and sit with him and talk about our day. Yes the smell is still in the house, but the chicken is gone so I can't have any. That's my trick.
   — [Anonymous]

July 13, 2001
First off, get some Adolph's meat tenderizer and keep it in your cabinet. When this happens, put some in a small glass of warm water and drink it to help break down the food. One tip is to never put bites into your mouth in the first place that are too big, so cut your food up really small (pea sized) then put in your mouth, or nibble. If you get something stuck and cannot get it to pass or cannot vomit it up, you will need to go to the emergency room and they'll get it out. Cathy answered your questions about your husband extremely well!!! You must stop blaming or crediting your successes and failures on others. This is your thing, you can do it, you do not have to be superhuman. Nor do you have to always avoid the good tasting foods. Calzones are actually ok so long as you limit yourself to a few bites. Go forth and get thin!
   — Cindy H.

July 13, 2001
I'm so surprised that the cookies, cakes and ice cream still tempt you. I DO NOT DUMP, however I don't enjoy sweets. Rarely, I'll have one small cookie, but eat it very slowly. Sometimes half now and half later. Ice cream makes me nausus and cake I'll only have 1-3 "tiny" bites. I know I'm not denying myself this way, and I would'nt enjoy it if I tried more. I'm surprised you can tolerate it! It does'nt even bother me to have someone eat like that in front of me. I guess I'm fortunate, but then I want so much for this to succeed that I don't care what anyway else does or says. I'll never weight 123 again as I did in high school, but I really want to weight no more than 135. Perhaps you can try to keep telling yourself what your goal is, and convince yourself you will stop at NOTHING to acheive it. NOTHING! Good luck to you. Your husband is being selfish. Sure hope he starts to appreciate you alittle more. I think it's I Cor 13 that says "love seeks not it's own good but the good of another". I wish he would take that to heart and support you. Don't get discouraged... remember you went through hell (surgery is hell) to get this far. Keep up the good work!!!
   — Danmark