Question:
Still on liquid diet & CRAVING really bad, how can I avoid temptation?!

PLEASE HELP ME! I'm going to give in sooner or later. My RNY distal bypass (open) was on 5/21/01, so I'm only 8 days post-op. It seems the surgery didn't take my cravings away. As soon as I first smelled that food coming down the hall in the hospital, I started drooling so bad. I could've mugged my roomate for her ravioli. And I wasn't physically hungry at all. Just to be able to sink my teeth into the food and to savor the deliciousness of it - AAAAH. I'm drooling right now as I describe this. So far, I haven't cheated - not yet. No, I've been sticking to my clear liquids, with great difficulty. Really, the only time I have a big problem is when it's time for the "normal" people to eat, when I can smell the delicious foods cooking & then being enjoyed. But at home I've been experiencing such an intense tempation. My husband, who is also morbid obese, filled up the fridge with stuff for himself like croissants, doughnuts w/ custard filling, coldcuts, breadrolls, icecream, white castle burgers, etc. And to hear him constantly going to the fridge (like every 2 hours) to have a meal, and to hear, smell & even see him eat, it drives me bonkers. He's trying to not eat in front of me, but I still tune my ears to hear him & get jealous. Even worse though is my aunt. She came to stay with us for a few days to give me company; from the time I was 4 days post-op & she just left today. Well over the course of those few days, she would eat her food infront of me, describe how delicious it is & wave it in my face saying Mmmmmm! I finally flipped out when she came by with her custard-filled doughnut, which she had cut into bite-size pieces, and she put the plate right under my nose as if she was offering me a piece. I immediately screamed while pounding my fists into the arms of the chair; I essentially threw a tantrum. Over all those days she's been teasing me with the food & I WANTED all that food SO BAD each time!!! I even saw a lady on TV eating CELERY and I was tempted. Even when I HAVE TO open up the fridge to get my protein drink, I'm just so tempted & it's like sometimes I could just put that food in my mouth subconsciously, without thinking. Like I mentioned before, I AM NOT hungry at all, I'm just addicted to food so badly. I'm already feeling so resentful & hateful towards my husband. I even had thoughts of leaving him (& we've been HAPPILY married for 12 yrs.). I feel like, why can't he help me by getting rid of all those temptation foods & go on a diet; it's not like he doesn't need to loose weight himself. He said he really wants to loose weight, but would NEVER have the surgery, that he'll loose weight in his "own way". Anyway, I do notice the cravings are less when I drink the protien. But with all that junk in the fridge right now, calling my name, I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I could go walking, but how can I go walking when I have to stay tied to a clock and a clear liquid, drinking 1 oz. every 15 min., no fail so I don't get dehydrated. If I went walking, I'd forget to drink. If I did anything of a distraction, I'll forget to drink. ----PLEASE HELP! IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR ME? In a way, I'm already regretting having had the surgery because I want to eat all those foods (yes, the foods that got me into trouble in the first place) so badly and without limit! — lalasmommy (posted on May 29, 2001)

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May 29, 2001
Hi new post op. I too am a new post op, but I do not suffer from the same cravings that you do, because I go ahead and have a very very small bite. Do not torture yourself, my doctor had me on soft foods post op day 4. I do understand how hard it can be to resist the temptation, but if you have a little bit, you can make it through. Good luck and tell your husband to clean out that fridge
— Chinwe B.

May 29, 2001
Your aunt's behavior is not only unacceptable, it seems sadistic and repugnant. She needs to ask herself what is it that tempting you does for her. My jaw dropped when I read about her teasing your addiction. Secondly, without prying, did you have a psychological test before your surgery? Obviously, we have a serious addiction to food and it doesn't sound like you have any support near you to help with that addiction. I seriously suggest that as soon as you can..you find a post-op group to meet with on a regular basis. You are not alone in your craving for someone that is harmful to you. Addiction is addiction...to food, alcohol, etc. And the odds of your successful use of the tool that WLS has given to you stack against you when you live with someone who is also addictive (and in denial, I'd say). Think about every time you cried because of how you felt as a morbidly obsese person. Think of how you would have given anything to be able to live without the emotional and physical pain it has put you through. Remember that food, as you used it in your "former" life, was more than your companion and your comfort. It was your enemy. You've been given the best available tool to use against the abuse of food and what it does to us. When your cravings become so difficult that you are willing to forget what got you this far...go to a mirror, remove your clothes...look at your body, look at your healing wound...and think about the road you've been down thus far and how the world will look and feel when you have passed this phase..and passed on that food that caused it all. At this point, this is about you...not your husband. He needs help in his own way and might benefit from attending some group sessions with you! Good Luck. God Bless.
— Ed D.

May 29, 2001
Hi Alexandra: First of all, I'd like to say I'm so sorry about your Aunt's hateful behavior. It was immature, mean-spirited and downright nasty. That is exactly the kind of negative energy you need to eliminate! Now, about your DH... Could you have a serious talk with him about how much you've endured to have this surgery (financially, physically) and how badly you want to be successful at it? Is it possible he is trying to sabotage your efforts because he is afraid you will leave him? Could you gently but firmly demand that he leave the goodies out of the house - that you are not forbidding him from eating them, but that you need all the support you can get so you can successfully work the program? As far as the cravings are concerned, it is true the less you are exposed to them, the less seductive they are. You are also likely to feel remorseful about the surgery having given up your love affair with food. This is a very difficult time, especially when you are looking ahead to a significant loss! At this stage, it might help to drink Crystal light and sugar free popsicles for some sweetness. At the full liquid stage, try experimenting with different soups (put them in the blender) for flavor. Sugar free pudding and jellos can also satisfy a sweet tooth. Because you had a distal bypass, I would be extremely cautious about sampling any kind of real sugar as you are more prone to dumping than the average proximal patient. Finally, you've articulated yourself so well in your frustration, I would suggest you keep a journal of all your feelings and progress. Pounding the keys can relieve a great deal of stress and kill some time. Good luck and God Bless, you'll get through this difficult time!
— Allie B.

May 29, 2001
My suggestion would be to go ahead and have a tiny bite of what you are craving. This surgery is not about "will power" because if will power worked there would be no need for WLS. I've had those same cravings. The way I handled them was to take a very small bite, chew it real well, and enjoy it. Most likely after you've had your little sample you will be satisfied. Your new smaller stomach will prevent you from eating too much. The cravings do get less with time. WLS as a tool means we eat more "normally". People without overeating and weight issues usually eat until they are satisfied. It's time for you to let WLS help you to eat the same way - eat what you want but eat small amounts. As far as dear hubby, it's time that he NOT stock up the fridge. If he wants a treat let him go out to the store to buy it when he's ready to eat it. Good luck to you. It will get better and easier.
— [Anonymous]

May 29, 2001
I had my surgery on 5/10. That first week on liquid was torture. I wasn't hungry but being told I couldn't have something just made me want it that much more. I spent tons of time looking up recipes online. Looking at pictures and even bought a Diabetic cookbook at the cash register. Everything look wonderful. I ate with my eyes and got the giggles at one point when I realized that my eyes were definitely bigger than my stomach! I haven't looked at any pictures or recipes since I was moved up to puree. As soon as I was told I could eat something, I was fine. Cream of Wheat was heaven and mashed potato with chicken in it ... ahhhhh. (Of course, I'm bored with those now and want a hamburger ... but that is beside the point.) :) Perhaps you could have a cabinet dedicated solely to goodies. You won't have to see it tempting you all the time. I survived my son's birthday. I had one bite of cake (which tasted horrible) and one bite of pizza (which was pretty good). It dawned on me tonight that there has been a cake and cupcakes sitting in my house for a week. ???? Who would have ever known that was possible? It doesn't bother me beyond the fact that it really points out exactly who was eating all the sweets in the house. Good luck, it will all seem worth it SOON!!!
— Lindsey G.

May 29, 2001
While I agree that having a small bite of most things would be okay. However, it's probably not a good idea to swallow some of the things that you are craving. My surgeon's booklet says that it is okay to have a bite of things if you are craving them, chew them up, taste them and then spit them out. Worked for me. I wanted pizza really bad and just spit it out. It really quenched that craving. A friend I know licked the seasoning off of the Dorito's at 2 weeks post op! Please don't feel tortured. Of most things, a small bite will help tremondously. If it's not a wise choice, then just chew a little and spit it out!! Shelley
— Shelley.

May 29, 2001
Wow, have you considered writing before. I could actually feel what you were describing. I am still pre-op so I have yet to deal with this, but it seems unfair that your husband continues to get junk food in the house. I would tell him that you don't want any of that junk food in the house while it is so tempting to you. You are not telling him not to have it, just that he has to eat it outside of the house. Who knows maybe that will also help him to cut back on the amount of junk he eats. He said he doesn't need surgery that he can do it on his own, obviously that is not true because he continues to eat excessive amounts of junk (as you said every 2 hours). Makes me wonder if he is trying to sabotage your efforts. Good Luck!
— [Anonymous]

May 29, 2001
I really feel for you. I haven't had the WLS yet but I can give you a few helpful tips on how to handle looking at all the goodies in the fridge. Past experience for me; because I have alot of children around me and my husband was fortunate to always be thin; I always buy the goodies for my family or to have in the house when guests unexpectedly drop in. My solution to this problem is I put almost everything in the freezer. That way it stops me brcause I have to stop and think about eating the food while it is thawing out. I also keep my freezer out in the garage. It has also helped to keep me honest when I get cravings. My family learned to adjust to it. I never told them , I just did it. Even if your husband does decide to eat it , you will only have to subject yourself to one thing at a time . If he can't handle it , have him or you put the items in individual baggies and return unused poortions back in the freezer. Hope this helps a little. You can do this to almost any food item even chips. If woory about how the food will hold up try putting say a couple of chips in a baggy to prove to him that the food won't be harmed Good Luck Claudette Gette
— Claudette G.

May 29, 2001
Alexandra, you are NOT alone. So many of us went through the same thing as you are experiencing. Not to go against what some are saying but, when you say you have an addiction to food, it worries me that some people might say, go ahead and eat "a bite". If we were able to do that before, we wouldn't have needed the surgery. My fear would be that "a bite" would turn into 2 or three and then more in the future. I understand that you have "head hunger" basically but, I beg you to get some counseling before giving in to it. After two weeks post op, this is what I wrote in my journal and I think that possibly you are feeling this too because our self esteem has been so bad for so many years. " I can't stand this much longer. I have lost everything for this surgery...I can't smoke anymore, I can't eat anymore and I can't even have sex anymore for awhile. What did I do to myself and why? I lost my best friend.....food." Alexandra, food was my solice when I felt bad or glad or whatever. You don't have that to turn to anymore and you must find something else to take it's place. I finally figured this out because I have an addictive personality basically and food was my addiction. Then, it became exercise. I exercised probably more than anyone I know. 3-4 hours a day at the gym...I got a hernia but, it also took away the food addiction. I was addicted to exercise then. Finally, I had to really look at myself and get alittle help with this. maybe you do to....there is nothing wrong with that especially when you have lived with such poor self esteem all your life. As for hubby, whether he admits is or not, he's afraid of losing you when you get thin. I hope, in some way this has helped. Good luck to you.
— Barbara H.

July 15, 2001
I'm sorry for the lack of support in your house. Some people are totally cruel. Before my surgery I went through my cupboards and fridgeand removed everything that was tempting or I felt that I shouldn't have anymore. I do live alone and I don't have to take other people's need and feelings into consideration. But, maybe it would help you mentally or drive a point home to your husband if you went though this ritual to some degree. Maybe just throwing away his one favorite thing away may make you feel really good. Or throw all of them away and replace them with good tasting food that is healthy or not so bad. Explain to him that you are changing the way you and your family is eating because you love them and want to be with them for a really long time. This may be the only boost your husband needs. Good luck and bless you for your will power if you know what I mean.
— Carla C.

July 16, 2001
Alexandra, congratulations on being able to resist the temptation so far. I know it is very difficult, but you hang in there. I think what you need to do is have a VERY SERIOUS talk with your husband about the situation. You have taken a very important step toward improving your health. One that requires a lot from you. It also shows that you value yourself. As morbidly obese people, sometimes we put the needs of others before our own. I think in this situation, you need to put YOUR needs in front of everyone else's including your husband's. Yes, he still has the right to eat himeslf to death, but that doesn't give him the right to have all that tempting food (JUNK) in the fridge with no regard to your needs! You need to get him to understand that you went through this MAJOR surgery to save your life. If he truly loves you, WHY IN THE WORLD would he have no regard for how difficult it must be for you to see all that food in the house????? I respect his right to decide that surgery is not the answer for him, but that doesn't give him the right to sabatoge your weight loss. PLEASE try to talk to your husband about how difficult it is when he doesn't fully support your effort. Maybe he can have a few of his absolute favorite foods, and hide them someplace where you won't constantly see them. And of course, when he goes to work or is out of the house and you aren't with him, he can always eat as he chooses. The important thing is that you must be assertive about your rights. You deserve as much respect for your decision and choices as your husband does for his. I wish you the best of luck with this. Please hang in there. BTW, it does get a little easier the farther post-op you get. My cravings diminished considerably after a few weeks or so. <<HUGS>>
— Maria H.

September 25, 2001
I answered this question myself by making a cheese souffle about 10 days after surgery. I reasoned it was liquid before it was baked, and it was hardly a grossly solid food. I died a thousand deaths from the stomach pain for 45 minutes. You can cure yourself of cravings by having just such an experience. I was not in the slightest, tempted again to fool with foods I shouldn't.
— Dr. Vance R.

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