Question:
help...... i have my surgery date now i am soooo.... scard i don't know if i can do t

my husband and kids tell me not to go through with it if i have any douts. HELLO... i am full of them and scard i wont ever be back to normal.    — Brenda M. (posted on April 6, 2001)


April 6, 2001
I had the same feeling you have. I had a date for April 11 and cancelled. I was too scared and all the postings about the problems after was just too much for me. I just postponed and will evaluate again later. I feel you must be at least 100% certain to have this life altering surgery. I may have it later down the road when I am certain. Howerver, it is ok to be put on hold for awhile. Hope this helps.
   — Kathleen G.

April 6, 2001
I was a little scared the day before surgery. But I know in my heart that this is what I had to do. I prayed about the surgery and I think God guided me. I am one week post op and feeling pretty good. I know this is not for everyone, so you must decide. It's ok to postpone and consider all the options. Please remember that everyone here will be willing to talk to you about any fears or concerns. Barbara Ann
   — Barbara Ann T.

April 6, 2001
Hi Brenda, I am 5 months post-op. I was scared too. It's normal to be scared. What scared me more was that my chance of dying without the surgery was higher than with the surgery. I will not try to talk you into anything, just give you facts. I have friends who have had it with no complications and one who has had alot. The thing is, the one who has had alot said she would do it again in a heartbeat. She is so happy with her weightloss and how she feels now even though she had a rough road to travel. She had her surgery one week after mine. If you want to chat privately, drop me a note. I'd be glad to address your fears with you. [email protected] Take care, Jeanne
   — mrs.qtip

April 6, 2001
Hello, I think that your fears are understandable. Can you pin point what you are afriad of? The reason I ask is because I know for me prior, when I had my gallbladder removed I was scared to death! I cryed days befor because I was so afraid, but I also knew that I had to do it because I wasn't going to go through the pain again of an attack. I was scared prior to WLS because of pain and the changes that I had hoped would come from it. Even good change is scary :-). Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck. I know that if I had to it all over again I would, the decision was right for me- but you and you alone have to make that decision for yourself, not your husband, or your children. They may be afraid for you, and that is normal, but I know from conversations with my husband he was afraid that the surgery would change me, and guess what it has!!!! I am much, much happier now and I can move around without getting winded, I can participate in life with my family now because I feel better and look better- that is a win- win in my book. Please do your own soul searching when making this decision. Take care...
   — [Anonymous]

April 6, 2001
Hello, I was very confident up until about the week before. I had done studies and studies of research, knew the risks etc. When it actually got close close, I tripped hard. But ultimately this is what I wanted. The reality came the day before that I am placing my life to be accessible with risks...not just "i'm having surgery yeah!" I realized how serious this was the day before. I knew it was, but just knowing I am going through it. I thought this is very normal for us to go through. I am now 7 weeks postop with absolutely no sideeffects and down 55 pounds. I was nervous because I have two small children and a wonderful husband and I thought "I may never see them again" but I did, and I would do it again with the risks involved to make myself a healthier me. Goodluck on your choices.
   — Patricia C.

April 6, 2001
I am sooooooooooo there with you, Dear!! LOL All I can tell you is PRAY, PRAY and PRAY some more. It seems to help me the most but I still have my bad days. The positive stories I read here online at this site really help to calm me .My surgery is set for May 11th..
   — Stephanie B.

April 6, 2001
Hi Brenda! TRUST ME what you are feeling is perfectly normal. I too, was so scared the first time I scheduled this surgery (11/29/00) that I called two weeks prior and cancelled. The feelings that I had after I cancelled were worse than the fears that I had before. I kicked my own BUTT every day for cancelling. I have since rescheduled and will be having LAP RNY on 5/30/01. I know now that this surgery is right for me. I am ready to make the committment to make it work -- I know all the risks -- People talk about it being an "elective" surgery -- they are right -- we are "electing" to watch our kids grow up, we are "electing" to live a healthy life, we are "electing" to have a better quality of life for our families and ourselves! Only you can weigh the risks between having the surgery or not -- Put your fears in Gods hands and let him guide you in making that decision. Good Luck and God Bless!! Donna
   — Donna H.

April 6, 2001
I know how you feel Brenda. I was feeling like that too but I know that everything in life is a risk and I decided that it was meant to be for me. My surgery date is set for June 21st and I am anxious for it to happen. Sure, I had thoughts in my head like "suppose I don't ever see my husband or son ever again" and "what would they do if I didn't make it". We are a very close family and very loving too and they have supported me from day 1. I have this fear of blood clots and that, believe it or not is my biggest fear out of all of the risks. Brenda, you are the only one that can make the decision and there are many people that gave you the best advice, look at different sites and check out alot of post-op patients and see how they are doing. God bless you in whatever decision you make.
   — Mary Ann B.

April 6, 2001
Brenda, I am scheduled for open RNY two days after you are on 4/13. All I can think about is finally getting my life back and here are a few things I am looking forward to. I can not wait until I can do things with my family again. Take walks with them, go to amusement parks and ride the rides, go to a restaurant and not worry if I can fit into the chair or will the chair hold me. Going to the beach and not fearing that I will be harpooned. I can't wait until I can buy my clothes at a normal store and not at the specialty stores. My wife can't wait for me to be able to help around the house with the chores. Being able to excercise again. I just keep thinking about what I will be able to do again and it keeps the fear in check. Keep thinking about the positive and try not to dwell on the negative. Good luck, God Bless and see you on the other side.
   — Barry R.




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