Question:
How do you battle the fear of surgery?
I am happy to report that I have been approved for surgery on 10/04/00 by BC/BS PPO(Empire). I have an appointment on Monday(10/09)with Dr. Gonzales in Winston Salem NC and hopefully will have surgery soon. As happy as I am for having approval, I am scared as h*** at the possibility of MAJOR surgery. How do you get over the fear? I know it is morbid but did anyone also communicate your last wishes for your family in the event you do not make it over to the other side? Thanks in advance. — Jan M. (posted on October 7, 2000)
October 7, 2000
Jan: I had never had major surgery before so I can relate. I did do a
living will prior to surgery. I was
relatively calm until I got to the hospital and I fell to pieces. They
gave me a sedative so I fell asleep and don't even remember being wheeled
into the operating room! Remember that the pain is tolerable. You will be
given a button to push for more pain medication so you won't have to depend
on someone to come in and give you a shot. Also a prescription for pain
medication to take home But the fear is normal and something that everyone
faces, even if you have had surgery before. Hang in there and you, too,
will make it to the other side with no problems. Good luck, and you will be
in our prayers.
— nealp
October 7, 2000
Jan, my surgery is in OMG 19 days! I'm soooooo excited and OH SOOOOOOOOO
petrified!! The worst part was waiting to be approved! Now I try to stay
busy. I talk about it constantly, and I stay on this wonderful website. I
am getting things in order. I have organized a filing system from this
website, I've frozen soup, ordered protein samples from Vitalady and
ordered Victoria's cookbook. I've explained to my doctor that I'm alergic
to pain and don't want to see the operating room. I did not write any
letters, etc. I do talk to God at night to be by my side and hold my hand.
Hopefully, I'm ready.....and I know you will be too... Hugs,
— L G.
October 7, 2000
Dear Jan,
Congratulations! I am having surgery on 10/12! I am so excited! I was
once a panic disorder sufferer, so I know and fully understand fear! I am
very relaxed about this surgery for some reason, it just seems right to me.
I did make out a living
will/advance directive...just in case I go home instead of the
recovery room. I suggest you stay busy, spend alot of time here (maybe in
the chat room) communicating with others, praying (write them down),
planning for postop, emailing, visualizing yourself after a couple of
months down the road, uh...just keep busy, busy, busy! If you need a
buddy, just email me at [email protected] and I will stay with you
throughout it all, okay? Fear can be such a pain in the butt, I know...but
let your FAITH (no matter the religion) get you through this, okay? I'm
here, and so are thousands of others....God bless and I will be praying for
you! Peace in Christ~Terri
— Terri G.
October 7, 2000
I think the best thing for me was to remember that I had two babies, and
one c-section. I survived those, so I can survive anything! Good luck to
you!
— Allie B.
October 7, 2000
Jan,
I am 18 days post op and had been through surgery for C-sections,
hysterectomy, 2 back surgeries a tonsilectomy, and a couple of other things
however in the past I never thought it necessary to communicate or leave
communication for my family. This was different for me, my husband and I
talked in great lenghth of my wishes, I wrote letters and put them up for
my hubby, son, daughter and grandchildren. In case I did not make it I
wanted them to know I was doing something I felt was necessary and that
would change my life for ever. I wanted them to know how special they were
and how much I LOVE THEM. Thankfully those letters never had to be read.
I did alot of praying, my pastor was at the hospital with me for my surgery
and he prayed with us before surgery, I placed it all in the hands of the
LORD and he pulled me through.. ....that is my advice to anyone having the
surgery, put it all in HIS hands and you will be fine. If you need a
friend contact me. ^j^
— emma lavonne G.
October 7, 2000
Trust. Faith. Trust in yourself that you have researched this as
thoroughly as you possibly could have and that you have made the right
decision to go ahead with surgery. Trust in your surgeon, that you have
researched him/her and know that he/she is the best wo/man for the job.
Faith in yourself, your surgeon, your God. Be sure of yourself & don't
second guess yourself.. You'll do great!
— [Deactivated Member]
October 7, 2000
I thought I was completely prepared for this surgery. I had done massive
amounts of research, attended four support group meetings before the
surgery and had been through the surgery route three times before. What I
wasn't prepared for was the emotional turmoil I went through for the 18
hours prior to surgery. My surgery wasn't scheduled until 3:30 p.m. so I
tried to stay up really late and then sleep in so I wouldn't have to think
about how hungry I was all day. That night as I sat up alone watching TV
and keeping my nose glued to this website I was a basket case! I managed to
make it through but just about walked out of the preop department when they
brought in the consent forms. My husband and daughter came in a few minutes
later which really helped to calm me down because I didn't want my 17 year
old daughter to get upset. My boss (a pastor) came by and we talked and
shared prayer together which also helped to calm me down. I didn't ask for
any anxiety medication and wish I had. Now that I'm five weeks on the other
side I would go through it again. Sure it was an anxious time for me, but I
know I needed this surgery to live a longer, healthier life than the one I
was living before surgery. My husband was aware of my wishes should
anything happen and I wrote letters to my husband and children and left
them with my best friend (I guess I can get them back from her now!). My
best advise is when you are feeling anxious is to stop and take a few deep
breaths, say a little prayer and envision what your life is going to be a
year from now. Oh yea, and seek out the adivse of those of us who have been
where you are right now. It's so comforting to know others share what you
are feeling.
— georgiacarol
October 7, 2000
A low dose of Xanax (a variation on Valium) worked for me.
— merri B.
October 8, 2000
Hi Jan. I think that we've all experienced the "fear" that
you're going through before our surgeries. I does help to know that you've
made your peace with the good Lord before going in but it still doesn't
erase the fear that you might be leaving your friends and family
unexpectedly...I know, I have 4 children myself. I think tho', what helped
me most was the realization that thousands of people have some sort of
surgery everyday. And they survive. I tried to adopt the attitude that my
surgery was "no big deal"..."just another surgical
procedure" and that I'd be home in no time. We live in an amazing
time. So many procedures that would have required DAYS in the hospital
years ago are now often done on an outpatient basis. When I had my
c-sections (4 of them...the last one 20 years ago) I was hospitalized for
at least a week. Now sectioned mothers are release after 2-3 days.
Medical practices and surgical procedures are so much more advanced now,
the mortality rates for those procedures are much, much less then they were
in times gone by. Still, when we think of our OWN mortality, it's still
scary, I know. But you have to trust in your own decision...your surgeon's
abilities and the Lord's wisdom. Yes, by all means, communicate your last
wishes to your family, but try not to dwell on them. I gave each one of my
children a new gold coin just before we left for the hospital the morning
of my surgery (so I wouldn't be leaving them completely "broke"
should anything happen to me) and I threated to come back and haunt them if
they dared bury me in a "flat" cemetery where they couldn't put a
headstone up over me. We all knew that I was scared and that this (or any)
surgery could be "serious", but we joked with each other and
hugged and loved each other through it. The hardest moment was when I had
to hug them "goodbye" just before being wheeled in to the
opeating room. But even then, they called me "skinny-in-waiting"
and were smiling at me. You'll make it too, sweetie. Just don't dwell on
the negatives and concentrate on a wonderful, slender-er future. Good luck
and God bless. cj
— cj T.
October 8, 2000
I am having the same fears. My wls date is November 3. So I have been
trying to get my Christmas shopping done and have all my presents wrapped.
Jusst in case something happens to me that everyone will still receive a
gift. I have also been giving thought to who all I want things left to. I
am trying to get a will made out. Now I am also starting to have fears
that something really does happen to me. I still know that I want to have
this done. Good luck.
— Jennifer N.
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