Question:
Does it take a long period of time to get over the emotional roll a coaster?
As I am researching because I'm still undecided, I sit here with tears and I begin to read some of your questions and I cry now, what will I be like if I go through with this? I am "morbid obese" and have an exteremly high BMI and many other health problems as well as I've already had a hysterectomy in the past 24 months and I'm only 35 years old. Will I cry forever? — Drenea Y. (posted on July 16, 2004)
July 16, 2004
I am the moderator, or better caretaker of this board. This month is my 3
year annioversary, and I have been hanging out here much longer than that.
What happens is people stumble onto our site, decide and get surgery, often
struggle early on, and then disappear. Feeling better and healthier they
move on with their life. Oh occasionally they pop in, but for the most part
they move on. Thats REALLY GREAT! They are out living their life! After all
many of us missed a big part of it being MO:(<P> But it gives some
the wrong idea, that were all having troubles, struggling daily. For MOST
thats not the case. Sure they are struggling with jobs homes kids and
finances, But they are better able to dealk with these issues being
healthier and happier. For ME, post op life is a wonderful improovement,
you can do it too!
— bob-haller
July 16, 2004
I know this is the hardest time in your life and I did the same thing
before my surgery. The one thing I can tell you is I have never felt
better. I have lost 105 pounds so far I feel good about myself. I notice
people treat me different.
But the most important thing in my mind is I am no longer in pain the way I
was with all my weight. I no longer take my high blood pressure meds. Life
is good. I like looking at myself in the mirror when I walk by one and when
I did I find that I am amazed at the person I see. And now when I see
myself on the before and after pictures I know I did the right thing and I
am sure that if you do this you too will feel the same way. Sometimes after
a while they forget what it was like to be heavy I do not. And you have to
remember the postings are to talk to people and find out if they are having
the same issues it does not mean that all the people that post questions
would say they wish they did not do it. I am sure that if any that would
say that it would be a really small number almost everyone I talk too says
they would do it again in a heart beat. I know I would and I say that
everyday.
— Rosemary L.
July 16, 2004
Drenea, I do not want this to sound harsh but please go talk to your PCP
about depression and maybe getting into some counseling and/or meds. I say
this with total experience. WLS will not solve everything in your life and
you need to be very mentally prepared for what this process does to your
life - good and bad. Some have problems early post-op and it can get you
down, but usually they are not life threatening, just a nusiance. Some
never have a medical issue in the world but at some point realize that all
of their problems in life was not because they were MO or SMO. They are
then faced with dealing with those problems.
<p>I speak from experience. I lost about 200 lbs almost 10 years
ago. I did it for all the right reasons, to live. I always assumed I
would not live past 40 and decided one day that maybe I would like to. I
did 1200 very healthy calories, extremely low fat, and tons of exercise to
the point of becoming too exercise obsessed. My body cooperated and I lost
the weight in 13 months. However, along the way a severe depression
surfaced, that was likely there before but I really wasn't aware of it. I
now felt I looked good but suddenly I realized I wanted a relationship and
it didn't happen. It took many years of medication and counseling for me
to work through all of the issues, before I came to terms with my life. It
was not a fun process and one I would not wish on anyone but for me I
believe it was critical to me ending up choosing WLS and for me to be a
success long term. I learned a ton about myself and came to realize what I
could and could not control. I am still on depression meds 9 years later
but I am fine with that as it keeps my mental state normal and balanced.
Life with controlled depression is a great life! I went into WLS a very
different person than I did when I started losing 10 years ago. I have
been very successful at my weight loss and my life is going great. I even
found Mr. Wonderful, but if I had not I would have been okay with that. I
had finally accepted me and that was a huge turning point.
<p>Going into WLS with many doubts and concerns and uncontrolled
depression is, in my opinion, a disaster waiting to happen. I believe
counseling would be a great place to start to help you identify the issues
in your life and help you figure out how to deal with them. Once things
are going along good then make the decision about WLS. I know for me I
would not have wanted to go through the WLS process without my depression
meds, my counselor and psychiatrist. I needed my professional support team
behind me 100% and they were. Feel free to write to me privately if you
like.
— zoedogcbr
July 16, 2004
Hi,
Post op life for me is so MUCH BETTER..than my life as a morbidly obese
woman. However, the surgery does not solve problems...but it improves our
health and well being...and in that sense we are able to deal with problems
and situations, hopefully in a more healthier way. For me personally...I
have never regretted my surgery and all my weight loss and thank G-d
everyday for it. You take care and try to look at the whole picture. Like
Bob said "you can do it too" and, we will all be here for you.
— Karen Renee
July 16, 2004
Give yourself some credit - this is a huge decision and you are allowed to
cry! I was 35 (my 37th birthday is today) with a 56 BMI when I had RNY in
October 2002 and I'm down 130 pounds. My BMI is in the low obese range, but
life is so much better in a healthier body. I did a lot of crying during my
decision process including in the pre-surgical area when I was being
prepped for surgery. But I have no doubt in my mind that I couldn't have
lost weight without surgery. You will hear from many people who wish they
had done it when they were younger. Not me. I'm glad I waited until I was
ready for the life changes. But don't let anyone talk you into or out of
it. Do tons of research and make your own informed decision. Good luck to
you!
— Yolanda J.
July 16, 2004
Sweetie, I was still questioning my decision up to the night before I had
surgery. I had been waiting on a 2 year waiting list for my number to come
up. During that time I talked with psychiatrists about the whys, I
counseled with a Food Addiction counselor. Even though I had worked
through the whys of my overeating and was mentally prepared, for the
surgery, my emotions were still doing a triple check on my decision. The
questioning stopped as soon as they put me out. When I woke up, it was
done and over and there was no turning back. I'm only 4 days out from
surgery but it was worth putting the control in someone else's hands.
— Jane T.
July 16, 2004
Hi Drenea, This is a very emotional experience. From start to finish. My
surgery is Monday and I am SOOOO emotonal today. I can't even talk w/o
crying. But I know I am making the right decision. I am 31 with a 5 year
old son and I am scared, but I am more scared to live the rest of my life
feeling terrible. It's weird, but someting inside you will tell you wether
this is what you should do or not. Family/friend support helps too. Good
luck!
— jennifer S.
July 16, 2004
I completely understand your whoas..I was where you were 4 months ago. I
can say, with my health issues, diabetes, sleep apnea and joint aches &
pains, this is the best gift I've ever given myself. My surgery was a wk
after my 2 yrs olds b'day in March, and I'm down 60 lbs and actually
feeling wonderful and enjoying life. (not even enough time to update my
profile!). Oh, I had a hysterectomy after my second son, so I understand
the hormones and emotional issues. WLS didn't affect that, but I'm able to
exercise more and it helps. Continue to research your WLS options and once
you have 100% confidence in a surgeon, you'll make the right decision for
you. BTW, I don't feel deprived, never been sick, and am lucky that I can
eat like a normal weight person. Best of luck....
— SJWendy
July 16, 2004
I definitely agree with Bob... I am a year out July 11, and my problems are
not gone, except for most of the the weight related ones... but it is nice
to have normal people problems (like: what should I do this weekend?)! I
do think most (myself included) stop doing their blogs as they reenter
life... my postings have slowed to a crawl as I have fewer weight-related
things to talk about... now, about that plastic surgery... :)
— Tim W.
July 17, 2004
Drenea, could I suggest you write down all your goals long-term and
short-term in order or priority in a book. So as not to overwhelm yourself
limit it to 6 long and 6 short-term. These can be things like cleaning
your closet completely to having starting WLS. No, it won't resolve all
your issue but attacking 5-6 issue at a time will make them seem less
overwhelming. GOOD LUCK and feel free to email me anytime - and no you
won't cry forever, because you'll run out of tears or you'll strave to
death because you'll be occupied with crying and not eating.
— Anna M.
July 17, 2004
Drena...I can only speak for myself, but I am so happy I had the surgery
done. I have to admit, I was scared to death when my primary care
physician told me I needed to have the surgery done. I told him I didn't
ever want it because I was afraid. He told me if I didn't have it done, I
wouldn't live anyway. So, I still refused and tried for another entire
year to lose weight on my own. I have absolutely NO metabolism. I tried
counting calories, fats, and carbs but never lost any weight. I even used
Adipex (phenterimine) under the care of my doctor's wife, who is a
bariatric and general practitioner. In all these things, I gained.
Finally, when I researched and found my doctor in a city 2 hours from my
home, I told my PCP to go ahead and make me an appointment. I went thru
all the pre-op testing and evaluation and was told it would take
approximately 8 weeks after they submitted all my info to Aetna to find out
if I'd been approved. Well, I was approved in 6 days. My BMI was 63.9 (I
am only 5 feet tall) when I had my surgery. I had uncontrolled high blood
pressure and was taking the maximum dosage of two separate blood pressure
pills. I started at 333.5 when I had my surgery on 1/5/04 and am currently
at 241.5. I know you're scared...it's only normal. I had worked in a
hospital for 29 years when I had my surgery and was terrified up until I
finally turned it over to God. I asked Him to work it out because I
couldn't worry about it anymore. I asked that if wasn't His will that He
would block it. And then I simply rested. It all worked out so quickly
and smoothly that I know it was His hand and His will all the way. I will
be praying for you. Feel free to e-mail me directly and if I can do
anything for you, I'd be glad to. Good luck and God bless.
— Katherine F.
July 17, 2004
I can tell you only about my own experiences. I was morbidly obese as well
my height is 5 ft and 250 pounds, my weight according to doctors should be
103 to 107, so I need to lose half of my weight. My health was beginning to
fail. I am only 37. I was on anti depressants, high blood pressure meds,
water pill, thyroid meds. I am 3 months post op I am down 50 pounds 3 sizes
and I no longer need anti depressants or high blood pressure pills or water
pills. I feel 70% percent better than I did. The way I figured it, it was a
slow painful death by disease or a new lease on life.
— Penney S.
July 18, 2004
Your question is...will you cry forever. The answer is YES! But instead
of sad tears that you cry now...after the surgery, you will be crying very
happy tears! This is the best thing that I, personally, have ever done for
myself, and one day,you will be saying that also! Don't forget, we all have
been where you are at now, and soon, you will be joining us in the happy
tears dance!! We are here for you! Good Luck! Danette
— Danette C.
July 19, 2004
43 is not an extremely high BMI, it is just over the line from 40 which is
the minimum standard to qualify for this surgery. I'm wondering why you
are crying? Is it because you are afraid to have the surgery, or because
you are so unhappy in your body, unhappy with your life-the hysterectomy
and health problems, what? I never cried before surgery, after trying
every diet out there and researching, and knowing that I was making the
best choice I could. Was I scared? Of course, going into any major
surgery is scary. Like the others, it was the best decision I ever made as
I sit here 2 1/2 years later and a size 10. Having this surgery may help
you with your medical problems. Take your time and be sure this is the
right decision for you, and don't let fear of the unknown influence your
decision.
— Cindy R.
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