Question:
I have to give a talk about the emotional issues of large weight loss at my group.Hel

How do you deal with your changing self and your partner or spouse? How do you handle all the compliments and the new feelings that arise? The increase desire for intimacy?    — joyce F. (posted on October 5, 2003)

October 5, 2003
Well, I am divorced ( way before WLS) so I can't answer about spouses. I get lots of new attention from men which is nice. Somehow now I feel less "out there" and can concentrate on something besides how fat I am. Sometimes it scares me, only because I'm not sure I'm ready to be so exposed. I have hidden behind my weight for so long and now I don't have it to hide behind anymore and I'm having to deal with issues as they arise. When men want to date me, I feel scared and don't know why. Suggestions would be nice.
   — Happy I.

October 5, 2003
I think that this was the part of the surgery/weight loss process that was overlooked the most with me. And it was the one part that had the most impact on my life. From the pre-op phase all the way thru to living life thin is one big emotional roller coaster, one that I feel most people dont realize. There are issues with how you view yourself, how others view you, the increase in confidence and how you and those around you deal with this. The predjudice that you see first hand by having been on both sides of the fence. All of these things are very difficult to deal with and I feel it is very important that everyone considering this surgery needs to be aware of. I applaud your efforts at addressing this issue for your group. good luck. Becky 10/3/01 266/150/135
   — RebeccaP

October 5, 2003
Great questions!! I am really enjoying the "metamorphis" I am experiencing now. My looks are really changing! Yesterday, my sister (who I see regularly) told me I was "skinny" and younger looking now! Wow! Who wouldn't want to be called that!! I find that I am eagarly anticipating the next change to my body....whatever area it is in. My hubby is really starting to take notice to....we tend to cuddle more on the couch, touch more frequently when passing each other, I am getting playful again and more flirtatious with him....We are more intimate and it is so much more fulfilling. I take the compliments in stride and have recently started not offering an explanation of WLS for my new looks everytime I am complimented. And, the biggest way I am adapting to my new self... I am taking better care of me! I spend more time on hair, lotion for the body (the nicely scented kind too!!) I care about how my clothes look and, now, tuck in my shirts whenever possible!! Best of luck to you... I hope you enjoy this journey as much as I am enjoying it!!!
   — teresa M.