Question:
Does anyone think it would be okay to bring my husband into the room?

I have nothing to hide from my husband and would like him in the room when I meet with the psychologist or psychiatrist. Has anyone else had their significant other with them when they make this most important visit? Thankyou everyone! I just love this site and although I rarely ask any questions, I am on this site at least 2 times a day for about 6 hours total. You guys are just great!!    — gramof3 (posted on September 7, 2003)

September 7, 2003
My husband was with me the day of my psych appt and I asked the same question. The psychologist said he wished he could accommodate me but it was a strictly confidential session and that my husband couldn't come in. I see his point which he talked to me about while we were in session. He wants the patient to feel entirely open to ask any questions of him and also wants the patient to answer everything he asks of her honestly and sometimes questions come up that a patient might really not want her husband to know the answer to... and she does have a right to that. The session was so quick and painless and it will all be over before you know it. There was nothing communicated in his private office that my husband couldn't have heard in my opinion but rules are rules! I'm curious to see if your doc lets hubby in. Lap 4/1/03 260/177/160
   — Vicki S.

September 7, 2003
I agree with the poster below. My husband & I do everything together. We often attend each other's doc appts so there are 2 sets of ears. But with this, the doc has to protect your confidentiality (legally) and therefore, his behind. The fascainting thing is that my husband had surgery a year later & we eventually got copies of our psych evals. We each took the MMPI II and had an hour interview. And AMAZINGLY, we are two indentical people on paper! We both delusion ourselve sinto thinking we're in a happy marriage. We both are only marginal candidates for surgery and OH NO, we will not follow through with any post-op support programs. Our docs don't put a huge amount of credibility in these, but the ins or hospitals sometimes require them anyway.
   — vitalady

September 7, 2003
No, it should be a private session with you and the doctor. My husband and I also have the same type of relationship but we each went to our psych alone (I have had open RNY and my DH is scheduled for Sept 30th). I feel that you will be able to speak your mind better and be more open when you are one on one with the psych doctor. Good luck.
   — ChristineB

September 7, 2003
Hi Claire: I personally thought the psych. appt. was just one more stupid hoop I had to pay for before being able to get the surgery I wanted. Like the visit with the internist, it just seemed a way of taking liability off the surgeon for later on if I wanted to sue because they shouldn't have operated on me in the first place. As it turned out, the psych. was the most enjoyable part of the whole process. It wasn't quite like talking to an old friend as someone else said in another post, but it was like meeting someone at a party or through a friend that I didn't know but would very much like to get to know. She was interested in my views, she made valid points about things to think about with the aftercare, etc. If I didn't have to pay her out of pocket I probably wouldn't have minded going back for more sessions. I wonder why you think the psych. visit is so important? I really don't think very many people get denied for surgery based on what the psych. says. If anything, they may delay your surgery date until you get another psych. to say you're ok, but even that statiticially is probably very low. I don't have anything to hid from my husband either, but I didn't feel the need to have him come with me to a psych. appt.. But then we don't do every little thing together like some couples do. I say it's only an hour, so if the psych won't let your husband in the room don't fret over it too much. If you want him to sit in the waiting room, and then you can drive to the appt. together and discusss what was said later, then that should be a good second choice. I guess I just wanted to say there's nothing to worry about with the psych. appt.. Good luck to you. S
   — sherry hedgecock

September 7, 2003
viewpoint from a medical person. It is considered very important to talk to a patient alone, away from their spouse for several reasons. Many people will not be as open and honest with another person in the room. Even tho you personallu may be an open book to your spouse, many people have issues in their past that they have not shared with their spouse, it could be any thing from a preganacy, abortion, baby given up for adoption, affairs, abuse etc. Also an important part of assessing a womans physical and mental health is asking about her current relationship. a very large number of women are in abusive relationships and will certainly not share this info in front of the spouse who is abusing her. A husbands unwillingness to allow his wife to be alone with a medical perssonnel is a warning sign of a high risk situation. We worry that he is controlling or not allowing her to speak out on her own. My suggestion is if you want him nearby have him wait in the waiting room. they might want to talk to him if they are assessing your support system. Just be honest and straightforward and you will do fine! good luck
   — **willow**

September 8, 2003
Hello. My husband went with me the first time. At the Wellness Institute that manages the WLS surgery, it is important to know that the support person is ready for this. HOWEVER, I had a second appointment, and my husband was not included that time.
   — Annie H.

September 8, 2003
Hi Everyone. Original poster here. I just wanted to thank you all for your answers.I get really nervous sometimes and forget what the doctor says. My husband is there 1. To offer his support and 2. To be a second set of ears as Michelle said. When my husband John has his surgery, I want to be just as supportive as he has been throughout my whole process. I was supposed to have surgery this last March and it didn't happen but having a consult with the psychologist was just as enjoyable with my husband there. In fact, he offered things that I had not even thought about. The Psychologist asked me if I wanted to do this alone because there were personal things that he was going to ask me. I told him that John knew everything about me, and he does, that I was very comfortable with him sitting there beside me. The doctor had no problem with that. Sorry I'm rambling and thank you all again!! Claire
   — gramof3