Question:
I'm at my drs. goal weight for my height, but I've gotten really depressed lately....

I find myself actually MISSING what it was like to be a fresh post op. I miss the days of dropping weight without any work and the wonderful comments I got as I was getting smaller. I secretly wish I could go back 18 months ago to the day of my surgery and "re-live" the whole thing. I feel like I didn't enjoy the whole journey, I was just anxious to get to my goal weight and now that I'm here, I want to go back! Am I crazy? Does anyone else feel this way? What can I do? I'd like to lose ten more pounds so I can just have that "high" of losing weight again. thanks everyone. :(    — michelle T. (posted on September 5, 2003)

September 5, 2003
Michelle, I have not totally experienced what you talk about but I can imagine feeling that way. I've lost very fast for being a SMO and it is so weird to think that I could be at my goal weight by 1 year. I have 80 lbs to go and a little less than 5 months, so it is possible. Or to even get within 25 lbs or so. If I make it I will have lost 242 lbs in a year. You are right, that you are so focused on doing things right and making progress and then suddenly some day you are at maintenance and then what do you do. I really ran into this when I lost 200 lbs about 9 years ago. My whole life was dieting and exercise. How low fat could I eat, how many miles could I bike, how many miles could I walk on the treadill, how many hours in a week of exercise could I do etc. etc. Then all of the sudden I was at a reasonable weight and I didn't know how to stop things or slow it down. I had no balance to the whole process. It is strange. While I do not want my whole life to be about WLS it's hard for it not to be while you are losing and working on getting to goal. <p>My suggestion is to get into some counseling. I'm not saying you are crazy or anything like that. I just find it helpful to get another perspective on things and my counselor also helps me to figure out what the real issue are and find ways to work on them. It certainly would not hurt and might be what you need to refocus on something new. To find that balance that hasn't been there. I am more balanced this time than the last time, but I still need to be conscious of some of the things I do. I even find that at times my support of many pre and post-ops can drain me a little too much. It keeps me focused but also gives me an excuse not to find other things in my life. It's strange how our brains work at times, but please don't let it get the best of you and get into some counseling. I really think it will help! it certainly has for me over the last 9 years. I would never have wanted to go down this WLS path without my depression under excellent control and my counselor ready willing and able to help me when my mind decides to play head games with me.
   — zoedogcbr

September 5, 2003
Michelle, I wonder if thinking about turning back the clock to the weight loss phase is a way of avoiding thinking about whether and how you'll keep the weight *off*. Maintenance is really hard, and it's a totally different phase than the weight-loss battle, where the objective is always clear. I don't know your weight loss history, but mine was full of yo-yo diets. It always felt great to lose, and awful to regain. I never learned how to keep it off, or what it was like to be the same size from season to season (let alone year to year). My biggest fear, from before I even had WLS, was whether I'd just wind up in yet another spectacular yo-yo experience. When you're losing, the movement on the scale, and in body size, and in clothing size, gives a great feeling of accomplishment. But the much harder thing to achieve is keeping the weight off, and learning what it takes to maintain at the goal weight (as far as eating habits, exercise habits, and even emotional stuff goes). For *that*, you don't get the great feedback you get while losing. It's harder to focus on, too. Yet, it's absolutely critical to make that transition from weight loss to weight maintenance (and when I figure out how it's done, I'll let you know, LOL!).<P>If this is an issue for you, it might explain why you don't want to leave the weight-loss mode, but obviously, we all have to, or we risk developing other problems, such as eating disorders. But, around the corner, that same maintenance issue will still be lurking. Just a thought.
   — Suzy C.

September 5, 2003
Hi i think what your experiencing is a let down sort of. when you are pregnant you wait and work toward making a healthy child, after the baby is born many woman experience depression, When i went to college( late 20's) i had to work really hard had two kids and was pregnant with my third when i graduated. After the baby was born I became super depressed, Recieved my degree and had a healthy baby my mind was saying okay now what. That time i did need to get some counseling because it was interferring with my life. I learned that I need to be working for something, that is how I am, so when i finish one challenge i find another one pretty quickly. I always have more than one thing going on in my life to sort of just to be safe. I am fine ,now but i promise you if I have the surgery and lose all my weight I to will get down unless i have another projest to jump into. I hope this helps you. Congratulations on your weight loss, and if you need to talk feel free to email me. God Bless
   — susan B.

September 6, 2003
hiya~ i can relate to your experience. when i got to goal weight, it was kind of like, "ok now what?" and i too missed the attention of being a newbie (i agree with likening it to pregnancy). so now you need to find ways to boost your self esteem without getting pats on the back from others. being involved in a wls support group is very very beneficial at this point. you have so much to offer the newbies. you need to take care of yourself first and i'vd found a great deal of satisfaction by "giving it away". i also went back to school and i am living my life now, not like pre op or in the first year or so when my whole world revolved around my weight. one of the goals of having this surgery is to be "normal"...and i am now. if you find yourself depressed, then you may want to seek counseling. the last thing you wnat to do is get into destructive habits... good luck, kate
   — jkb