Question:
Help! I'm stressin'!
I am stressing over the issue of willpower. I am 6-8 weeks away and am making the commitment to make this work. HOWEVER, sitting in a restaurant tonight, I'm wondering if I really will have the willpower to do what I am supposed to do. Tell me about your amount of willpower. Will I really have what it takes to go to a restaurant and make the right choices? Am I going to need an extraordinary amount of willpower? Does it take more willpower to make the life changes that it has in the past with previous diets, or does the surgery change that. I understand this is a life change. A hard life change. My question to those of you who have done it, is it TOO hard to manage? Or are the feelings that I'm going through normal? Is it even an issue of willpower or is it different? Thank you to those of you post-ops who are helping us pre-ops get through the process. One day I hope to be able to help someone like you've helped me. — Denise B. (posted on July 10, 2003)
July 10, 2003
Before surgery I had NO willpower. Now, my pouch makes me have willpower.
If I eat the wrong thing or too much of something I pay for it by getting
sick and throwing up and feeling very uncomfortable. I am only eight weeks
out, so this may change. But, right my pouch keeps me in check.
— Tami H.
July 10, 2003
Chill the stressin'! I was the queen of no willpower before surgery, but
the question has not even arisen in my 2 months post-op. I got sick once on
oatmeal of all things, just because I was eating like I used to eat
everything, without thinking about how fast or how much I was putting in my
mouth. That was enough to teach me a lesson that has stayed with me so far.
I am now aware of everything that goes in my mouth, I eat so slow I'm still
chewing on my tiny bits of food long after "normals" have
finished theirs. I will do anything to avoid that awful sick feeling of
having something stuck in that little pouch and I'm betting you will feel
the same way after surgery. I wasn't even tempted today at work when they
had a luscious pineapple cake for birthday day. I did think briefly about
how good that cake was pre-op, then forgot about it and went on my way. So
if you have to stress about anything, stress about what you are going to
wear once the inches start falling off. That's my main problem right now.
— Carole V.
July 10, 2003
Dear Denise, I am one year post-op. I weighed 274 and I am 5'5. I now
weigh 180 and still losing. I can tell you that your taste buds change. I
was a chocolate lover! I can't stand anything really sweet now. I was fat
for 32 years. I never had willpower and I still don't, however your body
adjusts and your food choices naturally change for the better. You will do
just fine. A word of caution...never eat more than 10 grams of sugar at
once. You will experience dumping. Always check sugar content in every
food! Regular popsicles in the early months after surgery were very
helpful. Also for a few weeks after surgery while your new stomach pouch
is trying to heal, you may have some episodes of nausea and spit up mucous.
Try drinking plain hot tea, it really helps. Have found a new favorite
snack...animal crackers(without the icing)are low in calories and sugar
content. Best of luck..Diane Stiffler
Strongsville
Ohio
— Diane S.
July 10, 2003
Denise, I am So glad that you asked this question! My surgery is scheduled
for the 21st. I am counting the days. However, I've been dieting for the
pass three weeks and I did good until yesterday and I totally fell of the
wagon. I was feeling really bad and doubting my future success. I am
banking on this tool working for me. I hate feeling sick and pray that I
dump so severe that I have no choice but to make good choices. I too want
to thank all the post-ops for sharing and inspiring. This website has been
my main source of strength and hope. Best wishes Denise!
— Kimberly J.
July 10, 2003
Denise, it has been very EASY for me to make the right choices. Now,
understand, sometimes I don't, but 99.5% of the time, I do. One of the
reasons is that after the surgery, your tastes change so much. Things that
I used to LOVE, I now can't stand the thought of. For instance, the smell
of doughnuts makes me ill. Pre-op, I could easily eat a dozen, especially
if they were warm. Now all I have to do is smell the sugar and I want to
barf. I drank 40-80 ounces of Classic Coke a day before surgery; wouldn't
dream of touching one now. My only demon, really, is Cheez-its and Cheese
Nibs. I do love those little crackers and tend to over do when they are
around, so I don't buy them. I was always a meat lover, so getting protein
isn't a problem for me. I DO NOT LIKE SWEETS NOW AT ALL.
— Patty_Butler
July 10, 2003
For some people, the choice isn't about will power...if you make a wrong
choice sometimes you'll pay for it dearly and you will be afraid to make a
wrong choice again.
— Betty Todd
July 10, 2003
Hmmm, well I don't know if I'm 'normal' or not, but I am 3 months post-op
and do not have a problem at all with chosing the wrong food. I know what
will and what won't sit well in my pouch. I have been out to restaurants
several times post-op and have been able to find something that will work.
To be honest, my desire for all that crap is gone. I can look at a menu and
honestly say all those desserts don't even appeal to me anymore. Sometimes
my daughters will order pizza and I will look at it and long for a bite. I
refuse to deny myself, so I will have a bite, but only of the topping.
Ususally one bite is more than enough to satisfy that urge. And once again
being honest, it never really tastes all that good or as good as I remember
it tasting! LOL! Barb 4/07/03 235/180/126-130
— Barbara C.
July 10, 2003
I had no will power before surgery and I still don't have any. I do not
dump on anything. I can eat whatever I want, but what keeps me under
control is knowing that I have lost 60 pounds in six months. I know that
doesn't sound like much to some but for me it's a mile stone. When I want
to eat something that is not good for me , I will eat sugar free popcicles.
They have been my crutch.I have 50 more pounds to go and I know that I will
make it and so will you. We get stronger after surgery.
Best wishes
— myra J.
July 11, 2003
I would like to take a different approach to answering this, even though
all of the answers before mine were so good. I just want to give you a
different perspective.
It seems like for nearly everyone who is and has been obese, we have been
CONSTANTLY told that we have no willpower, that we are weak.... sometimes
stupid... for letting ourselves "get this way". I bet everyone
reading this knows what I mean ;) We have all heard this. So I think that
in a lot of cases we are so trained to think that we are not capable of
making it after WLS. Who hasn't heard, "All you have to do is eat
less, since that is what they are forcing you to do anyway???"
No matter that our pounches are the size of eggs (or about that). Or that
we can dump, etc. So I bet that you DO have the willpower. Think of what it
takes for most of us to get this procedure! All of the fighting, all of the
paperwork, the pre-op dieting, the exams (medical and psychological), the
labs, emotional battles, dealing with friends and family... the list can go
on for days. THAT takes a TON of willpower. And internal strength. So you
can do it. You really have to. Because from now on you are going to be so
healthy and feel so good that every time you say "no" to
something you know you shouldn't have you are buying more and more time of
life.
What you are feeling is normal. But really, after WLS food is merely
fuel.... to keep you beautiful body going.
Good luck to you- you're going to do great.
— kultgirl
July 11, 2003
I think you are very smart to consider these issues as a pre-op. Too many
go into this surgery thinking that this surgery is magic, that they will
lose their weight effortless, eat whatever they want forever, and keep it
off. Those who are just a few months post-op and have answered this
question by saying how easy it is, it is for them-your tastes change,
willpower is a piece of cake(not literally!) at their stage in their
journey! It is easy to have willpower at a few months post-op. It is
quite another thing at 1 year or two years or more post-op. I am 17 months
post-op and have read of many who admittedly have no willpower and continue
to abuse their pouches by eating the wrong foods. It can happen. Check out
the graduates group list on yahoo for a 1 year or further post-op
perspective. What I will tell you, from my perspective, is that I do make
better choices than I did pre-op and some of the foods I loved pre-op, just
dont have the same power over me. I eat fast food/burgers and fries, on
occasion, but truthfully they just don't taste as good, and best of all,
you get full faster, so you do eat much less. Thats been the key, the
silver lining for me, choosing good foods and filling up fast so that I no
longer have the desire to eat junk. I do have a sweet and carb tooth
though and do indulge. But now, I eat 1 or 2 small cookies and not the
whole box, I will have 1/4 to a 1/2 a small slice of cake and not the
entire cake. It is a life change, and I try to use the moderation
approach. I will allow myself anything I want, but protein first, and
whatever it is, in moderation. So far, I am 4 pounds from goal and
successful.Good questions.
— Cindy R.
July 11, 2003
We are all different but for me it was like this: Before surgery, my body
was broken. I couldn't tell when I was full, let alone satisfied. Trying to
eat the right things didn't work. I would eat lots of "right"
things then turn around and eat the very thing I had been trying to avoid.
I would have just been better off eating what I wanted in the first place!
Dieting ultimately made me gain weight. As a matter of fact, that was what
caused me to enter the world of the MO in the first place: I went on an
extreme low calorie diet for 2 weeks and then gained 50 pounds in a matter
of months after I went back to eating normally.<p>Surgery
"fixed" what was broken. Now I eat like a "normal thin
person." I know when I am full. If I choose to, I can provide a
healthy substitute for a craving. Or if it is a REAL craving, I can satisfy
it without going nuts (a single-serving bag of M&Ms instead of a
one-pound bag). I want different things now. Fast food completely turns me
off. Sugar and carb cravings are controllable. My weight is steady and
easily maintained.<p>What's the secret? Follow the simple rules your
dr sets out for you. And when you get to goal, if you see a weight gain:
JUMP ON IT. Do not let 2 extra pounds become 20 or 50 or 100. I don't think
I have incredible amounts of willpower (or, in fact, much at all! LOL) I
just know what it took to get where I am and am determined to stay here!
Good luck . . . But you won't need luck: You can do it!
— ctyst
July 12, 2003
Will power. I think I mighta been born without that gene. However, I'm
very organized & regimented. I can follow "rules" I make, as
long as they make sense to me. No licking fingers while preparing food is
one of the simple ones. I had my WLS 9 yrs ago, and am still weighing about
110#. It isn't about will power for me. It's about understanding the
physical disease & what it's going to ask me to do (that will hurt me).
I use various tools to fight those physical/chemical demons, so that I
don't have to call upon the will power that is AWOL. I follow a formula
that has worked, which, I suspect, is why it keeps working. I have enough
will power to do that. It sets me way free in some areas, offers some
restriction in others. I eat out a LOT. Usually I have more trouble
deciding IF I'll eat, never mind what. If I don't order, my companions
think I don't feel well or something. So, I usually order a small salad if
I am not interested in food right then. Since my husband is also WLS, we
often share food (if he doesn't order something gross like seafood). I
prefer veggies, he prefers meat, so we usually manage to get it pretty
healthy. I use extra protein shakes to help me out of a bad spot. I never
had a problem putting things IN my face, it was keeping them out that was
the problem.
— vitalady
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