Question:
Is being Obese a choice in your Lifestyle? How did it happen?
— sherri parker (posted on April 8, 2003)
April 7, 2003
I was a chubby baby and MO by age 4 just like nearly EVERY member of my
family. Genetics plays a large part. I have NEVER met a MO who did it
intentionally. Its NOT YOUR FAULT, its not willpower or lack of it.
— bob-haller
April 8, 2003
I was a skinny little kid. It wasn't until high school that I started to
put weight on despite my many sports activities: gymnastics, ballet,
soccer, field hockey, volleyball, playing outside. I was never a binge
eater, though I didn't always make the best food choices. Then through
yo-yo dieting, my metabolism is completely out of whack and made it much
easier to put more and more weight on. Also, MO runs rampant in my family.
— Yolanda J.
April 8, 2003
I was thin up until I started having my kids, then steadily gained from
there. Nobody on either side of my family is MO. I don't think it was a
'choice', however I didn't do as much as I could, as often as I could, to
prevent the extra weight.
Now however I am commited and in charge and on my way to being thin again.
— jpwork00
April 8, 2003
I don't think it's ever a choice. I mean, who would choose to be obese
considering the social discrimination, health risks, etc. I think there is
some bad decision making involved but it's not a true choice. It's kind of
like bedwetters. Sometimes parents really fuss at kids who wet the bed but
if you think about it, what kid would want to lay in a cold wet stinky bed
and be awakened in the middle of the night every night only to have his
parents fuss at him? I was only a little overweight until I had kids and
then it seemed I became obese overnight. It was a huge, miserable struggle
and never a lifestyle I would have chosen.
— ronascott
April 8, 2003
— Jazzy
April 8, 2003
I think genetics plays a huge part in it. My moms family are mainly
"large" people, where as my dads family are mainly
"small" people. My brother and I are both tall, and mo, where as
my sister is shorter, and VERY small. Just a roll of the dice in my case, I
think.
— Cat S.
April 8, 2003
I didn't start out being overweight. I was 140 up until my first son was
born.. then the weight began to accumulate and depression from not being
able to lose weight made me eat more.. I was also diagnosed with
hypothryroidism too late my tsh levels were 45. I spent about 9 years
being obese and now am going to make it right again.. this time I am going
to have weekly weigh ins just so I can be accountable and not let my weight
get out of control... I still can't believe I let myself get like this. I
look like the cartoon rolly polly such a round face now ugh...
— hillafb U.
April 8, 2003
Interesting quesiton. In my case, I really had no choice. Now understand
that I'm glucose intolerant and that I have to avoid all simple carbs and
that's
why no diet ever worked for me and why I constantly craved (...and ate)
sweets.
On Atkins (level 1), I have virtually no appetite and I don't even think
about sweets.
I'd say that from childhood, I snacked my way up to 370lbs. I tried all
the diets out there
and could never lose more than 30 or 40 pounds. Then I'd get discourged
and give up....until the
next time. Wls was the only thing that worked for me. But, I had to
discovere the carb connection
all by myself.
— mandy S.
April 8, 2003
Okay, at the risk of being a little bit sarcastic here, yeah, I chose to be
unhealthy, cranky, miserable, in pain, sickly and none too attractive. I
don't think any of us made a conscious decision one morning when we woke up
and said, ya know, I think I'd like to spend my life obese, die young and
be miserable and sick during the shortened period of time that I will have
on this planet. I think that I will waste what opportunity at life I have
been given by being obese.<P>
Seriously, a combination of genetics, environment and whatever else science
says goes into the makeup of a person who is obese is what caused it. I
was thin up until I turned 21 years old. When I was 21, I was put through
hell by a boyfriend--I retreated into a shell of shame, depression and
pain...couple that with a family predisposition to obesity...I got
big...and kept getting bigger. Then I got married...and my husband was an
active alcoholic...sober now 8 years, AMEN!! But then I had 2 kids...and
adopted his daughter from his first marriage who has mental health issues
and is a nasty girl who put me and my family through hell...I continued to
get bigger and bigger. Diagnosed with diabetes during both my pregnancies,
and after the second one, it never went away...being in denial. Being
depressed, not caring. That was what made me obese. I didn't choose all
that...but I pulled myself together, decided for the sake of my two sons
that I needed to be there for them...that they deserved a better Mommy than
I was...and it was either die and let my husband find them a new mommy, or
be a better one than I was. I researched wls, had it done...and I'm a
better Mommy, a better wife, and most of all, a better friend to myself.
Have a Sparkling Day!! ~CAE~
— Mustang
April 8, 2003
For me it is more genetics than lifestyle. I don't remember ever being
small I have pictures of me when I was 3 or 4 and I was an average size
child but then my kindergarten picutres I was the biggest kid in class. My
father's side of the family are mostly overweight/obese. I can never recall
being normal weight. My psychologist told me that most of my weight problem
was genetic and so did my surgeon. The surgeon said he will fix the genetic
part and I have to do the diet and excersise that normal people do to stay
healthy. I am sure that my food choices could have been better but even
eating healthy normal portions has never made a differance in my weight.
The only thing that ever worked was excercising three hours a day, diet
fuel and not eating took the weight off. As soon as I tried to be normal
again I put all the weight back on. I don't think that anyone would choose
to be obese but sometimes in spite of our best efforts it happens.
— S C.
April 8, 2003
No! I was a skinny kid, had appendix (so maybe sickly?) out at age 10 or
so, and not sure if that caused premature puberty or what; lots of theorys
behind it! But I started gaining after that; then my PCOS started at about
13-14 and that sent me skyrocketing. My folks are both thin, and sisters
are sucessful when dieting/exercising. I am not; my body doesn't process
food like normal people and basically turns carbs into fat/sugar. In order
to maintain a normal weight; I got the surgery to 'force' or encourage me
to lo-carb for the rest of my life. My portions before surgery were
normal, except when I ate carbs (as they make you crave more). My life is
sendentary- that I believe is my only "excuse"... and that is
just because I hate to exercise- I am not a couch potato, I just don't have
a set work out routine.
— Karen R.
April 8, 2003
For me it happened for a combination of reasons, primarily emotional I
believe. But I also believe it happened so easily because of genetics. My
mother and her family are all obese. My mother is also borderline
schizophrenic and an alcoholic as well. My father was tall and thin. He was
killed in a car accident when I was 21 months old. My 2 sisters and 2
brothers take after our dad...thin. I was the youngest and the spitting
image of my mother and her sisters. I wasn't chubby as a baby because after
my dad was killed, my mother lived on Social Security and somewhat
attempted to raise 5 kids. Tough enough job for someone who has their act
together, tougher still for an alcoholic with mental problems. We would
often run out of food by the 3rd or 4th week of the month. I remember
eating plenty of bread with butter and sugar for days on end. Took me years
as an adult to choke down oatmeal because we often ate it for days on
end...with no milk, sometimes no sugar. The rare times at the beginning of
the month when mother got her SS check, she would take me to eat and go
shopping while the other kids were in school. I remember patty melts and
milkshakes at the Woolworth's counter. It was the only time I felt close to
my mother. Most of the time though we were all bordering on malnutrition.
At age 10, the 3 youngest of us were put in foster care for the first time.
Finally, I had home cooking! Family mealtime, homemade school lunches
packed with loving care. That lasted for 3 months before I got sent back to
my mother. That was the beginning of my love affair with food. It was my
friend, my comforter. When things got bad at home, I turned to food because
it reminded me of being cared for. At age 13 I went into foster care
permanently. By then I weighed 170 or 180. My new foster mother was on
every diet that came along. Therefore, so was I. She also was strict about
being active. I joined the swim team within months after learning to swim.
I learned how to play racquetball, tennis, ski. I walked to and from
school. Walked the dog. By 14 I was 120 lbs. and quite active. But anyone
who knows about coming from a troubled childhood knows I was headed for
trouble. At age 16 my foster mother got me a job in the "tea
room" where she was a bookkeeper. I prepared salads, sandwiches and
desserts. Add the anxiety of being a teenager, getting a drivers license
and not walking anymore, to the constant surrounding of gourmet food = big
trouble! By 17 I had gained, was at 160lbs. My foster mother and foster
sister thought I looked awful. I began to withdraw from them, hang more
with my friends. Ended up moving out on my own 3 months shy of graduation.
I did graduate. Got married at 19, had my son at 21. The weight just kept
creeping up. By the time I divorced at age 27 I weighed about 250. 5 years
after that I was just under 300. Now I KNOW about the emotional triggers of
eating. I think the hardest part of WLS truly is mourning the loss of that
friend, that comfort. NO, obesity is not a choice we make. It is often
genetic but very much more environmental/emotional. My brothers and sisters
acted out their pain (and still do) by becoming alcoholics and drug
addicts. I chose food. Sorry such a long story but that's how I believe it
happened in my life. - Anna LAP RNY 7/3/02 -120lbs.
— Anna L.
April 8, 2003
Hi, Sherri! Good question here. I have been obese since early childhood,
have one obese sister and one thin sister. My parents are both thin,
although my mother had somewhat of a weight problem, but it was connected
to hypothyroidism (no I don't have that). My maternal grandmother was
obese as well, but on my dad's side were/are mostly thin people. I do
remember there always being a lot of "goodies" to eat at our
house - cakes, pie, candy, ice cream, homemade bread (all made with white
flour), large family dinners for holidays, eating out a good bit. So, in a
sense those were lifestyle choices that the whole family made. I don't
beat them up or myself about it. I realized in my teens that if I could
keep up an extreme exercise routine, I might be able to control the weight,
but I didn't have the discipline required for that. I have lost weight on
Weight Watchers several times, have always gained it back. I have also
tried Xenical, Meridia, Medifast, SlimFast, counting fat grams, Atkins.
Admittedly, I am inconsistent with exercise, even though I have felt much
better when I do. That is something I will have to resolve following
surgery. I don't look at WLS as any kind of "magic" solution,
just a tool that I hope will help me to get as close to a normal weight as
possible. I truly believe that losing most of my excess weight will help
to motivate me to exercise in a consistent way. I'm kind of in a
"catch-22" situation right now - when I exercise my feet, knees
and back hurt pretty badly, but when I don't exercise, I cannot lose
weight. Also, I have never really been on a diet on which I felt satisfied
with the amount of food I was eating (ex-on WW I was always looking for
more "points" at the end of the day, often went to bed hungry -
LOL). So I'm hoping the WLS will also help with that problem. Thanks for
asking this thought-provoking question, and good luck to you.
— Carlita
April 8, 2003
No - my obesity was not my choice. I've been overweight my entire life
despite being on the varsity basketball team in highschool and an active
competitor in several sports since I've reached adulthood. Yes, I ate more
than I needed - but I was constantly hungry. I have Native American
ancestry and a number of the people in my family have weight problems. The
fact is, my body type would have been a healthy adaptation 200 years ago
when food was harder to get. Now my body type is a liability because we
live in a land of excess.
— Etta M.
April 8, 2003
It is a good question. Being obese was not a choice or type of lifestyle I
ever wanted, but I must take responsibility for eating the amounts and
types of foods that caused my obesity. My family was not obese and in
fact, I have a perfect size 6 sister who has had 3 kids! Go figure. She
does not like sweets or use food as comfort as I did. I maintained a
normal weight into my late 20's, then an affair that ended badly, and being
laid off my job at the same time, sent me spiraling and turning to bags
full of sweets and fast foods to "medicate" the pain. I gained
100 pounds, lost it thru exercise and Fen-fen, got married, had some
unhappy times to include another lay off, and gained it all back. After
years of yo-yo dieting and failing at them all, with a marriage on the
rocks, and no self-esteem to speak up, I took the bold step of having WLS.
I've never been happier.
— Cindy R.
April 8, 2003
I think genetics or some other physical reason is ALWAYS part of it,
particularly for the super-obese. Lots of people don't eat well and don't
exercise and remain slender. A huge number of Pima Indians are MO; they
think it has to do with the climate they evolved in. For me, the biggest
factors contributing to my obesity were: dieting rebound, depression, and
diabetes and the medicines I take for it. I stopped dieting some years ago
and am no longer depressed, but my weight has ended up at a fairly stable
point but a lot higher than it would have been otherwise.
— sjwilde
April 8, 2003
This is a good question, I do not think there is one answer, I have thin
parents, my mother died in 1976 at age 55 with complications due to her
diabetes. I was always thin, until 1991 when I found out that I had adult
on-set diabetes, and I started gaining weight, I never had the right kind
of diet, even back then the ADA (American Diabetes Assoc) had you eating
wrong, they said rice and pasta was good. I continued to have health
problems associated with my diabetes, and continued to gain weight, so my
weight gain is mostly due to my health problems. My whole family has
diabetes, and it is strange, I was told that when you get adult on-set type
II diabetes that your matabolism does a flip flop, I was always thin and
became heavy, two of my brothers were large and now with adult diabetes are
bean poles, my sister, who was 5'5" and in a size 14-16, became so
small, she maybe weights 99 lbs soaking wet, and my other brother who was
always a bean pole is now a very large man. I have had several doctors
tell me that my health problems have so much to do with my weight gain.
— cindy
April 8, 2003
Wow what a good question! I know with me, being obese was definitely not a
choice. I think genetics had a lot to do with it. On my mom's side, my
grandmother and all of her sisters were obese and on my dad's side, same
thing, my grandmother and her sister and brothers were obeseor very
overweight. My sister is obese (5'7 and 240 lbs) and has been wanting to
have kids for some time now but cant due to her PCOS. I think having my
kids had something to do with it too, I was never able to lose the weight
after they were born (I wouldnt change a thing about having them though, I
love those kids to pieces!). Obesity is definitely not your fault.
— Kris T.
April 8, 2003
I don't think anyone chooses to be fat, obese, huge, big, ar any of the
other words we apply to our body size. What each of us has chosen to do at
one level or another is eat more than our individual body needs to be a
normal size. By choosing the behavior we choose the result. Genetics play a
role in weight gain and retention. So do cultural differences, food
tolerances, exercise tolerances, impaired metabolism, and probably even the
weather. All that means to me is that I have a different set of challenges
to stay slim and healthy than a person with a mile-a-minute
metabolism.<p>It may not be fair. It's not. It may not be pleasant.
It's not. For me, without surgery it may not have even been possible. In
all honesty, I know and knew what I should eat to lose weight. I also knew
when I was making choices that let what I wanted NOW trump what I wanted
MOST. Surgery has made NOW a lot less important.<p>Yeah, I think we
choose. I don't think we think through the results of the choices we make.
I think lots of people make our size about 'fault' when it is more just
about fact. Guess that's why I have always preferred 'fat' to any of the
prettier words. 'Fat' tends to keep me more honest at least with myself.
Life's a lot easier in a size 6 though.
— phoebe
April 8, 2003
Like so many other posters to this question, I too have always been
overweight and for most of my life, I fought against it. But I do have to
say that at one point, I decided to accept my obesity and at that time, for
several years, it was a lifestyle choice. Not to say that I purposely
gained weight and if I could have lost weight during that time with little
or no effort, I would have. But I got tired of the struggle, the fight to
always lose weight, to feel guilty for every little thing I put in my
mouth, to feel shame for being the size that I was. I got involved in
several size-acceptance social groups and soon found that most of my
friends were obese as well. Initially, I lost weight--70 pounds. I found
that once I wasn't worried about dieting, food lost some of it's hold on
me. But then I soon found the weight coming back on with a vengeance,
gaining 90 pounds back. As I gained more and more weight, I again became
unhappy with myself, what I had become. It was at this point, after
watching several of my friends find success with WLS, that I realized that
this was the choice for me.
— Janet S.
April 8, 2003
No it was not a choice for me. I gained all of this extra weight when I was
pregnant and on total bedrest for the last 3.5 mths. It's been a huge
battle to try and get it off and nothing that I do seems to work. Thats why
I am going for the surgery.
— Beverly S.
April 8, 2003
I must admit, I still have trouble with obesity being labeled a disease. I
think this allows us to believe that obesity is something that just happens
to us and is beyond our control. I mean I can't pretend like eating at
McDonald's every day had no part in my weight gain; and that snacking on
Snickers bars instead of fruit wasn't my OWN choice. :-) Of course we all
know there's a percentage of people who have extenuating circumstances that
make obesity a real possibility (a small percentage in my opinion). If
we're going to beat this thing, then we have to be REAL with ourselves
about the role we played in our obesity. Even after wls, we're making
daily food and lifestyle choices (e.g., to exercise or not to exercise,
milkshake or water) that will affect our weight loss. We have the power to
choose and we have the power to control. I think that's how we have to see
it in order to maximize this second chance we've all been given.
— Leni M.
April 8, 2003
What I have learned since having this surgery in October is that obesity is
definitely a disease. I have been watching the quantities and qualities of
meals that others eat, and I can say for sure that I have never eaten junk
or the volume of food that my size 6 boss can stuff away, among others. She
has a Pepsi and snickers for breakfast every day. She has 2 kids and is 35
years old. Why can she do that and I gain weight just watching her? There
is no way I would have been able to have lost my 90 pounds without this
surgery. Why can so many thin people eat at McDonalds and have pizza and
beer several times a week and not be affected by it? I was always told by
my coworkers how healthy I would eat, but yet I was at least 150 pounds
heavier. While my sedentary lifestyle definitely contributed to it, we need
to be predisposed to it to become MO.
— Yolanda J.
April 8, 2003
I definitely think morbid obesity and obesity for the super obese is
definitely contributed to genetics. There are too many thin people out
there with worse habits than us to blame it all on our choices. Afterall
how many thin people do you see eat "bad" food choices 24/7 and
NOT exercise and still remain normal or near normal. And I think the
statistics of only a 5% success rate for diet and exercise (even with
weight loss meds!) shows that something just isn't right here. Once you
get to that point of 100+ lbs overweight it isn't just a matter of pushing
yourself away from the table and taking a walk. I know by the time I was
starting junior high I was already over 200 lbs. And it wasn't until that
first diet that my weight really exploded. Lost some, gained it back and
it jumped to over 250. Next big successful diet it jumped to over 300. If
you look at how thin people gain and then diet to lose (same as I and many
did) there is something very wrong that our rebound after the loss adds so
much more weight. Yes, thin people gain it back slowly but they certainly
don't gain an additional 50 lbs within a year afterwards! Of course
genetics isn't all of it, I think there are numerous contributing factors,
including environmental. But for me I know as a child I didn't gain weight
by stuffing myself with candy and such. Truthfully I grew up poor and felt
lucky just to have dinner, and I was active. In fact I remember being 9 or
10 splitting rails to bring in money for food/rent/etc and always spent my
summers & falls working my butt off in the woods like that. And now
I've watched my little one growing up obese. At barely 10 years old she
weighs over 180. She was sickly and stick thin until about 2 years old or
so. All the sudden she started gaining and never quit. And she LOVES her
veggies and fruits and I really discourage sweets with her. In fact as a
toddler she wouldn't eat anything sweet like chocolate or candy that others
offered her. And now, I don't think she eats any different that other kids
her age, in fact I think in many ways she does better. Still she does
weigh twice that of others her age. And unforntunately she's built just
like me. I can see her gain in her tummy which is where I stored a lot of
my weight over the years. Its a scarey trend I can't seem to stop.
Personally I think if it was ONLY choice of food/exercise neither she or I
would be overweight, especially her. (just my looooong 2 cents!)
— Shelly S.
April 8, 2003
Hmm...this IS an interesting question. I think that obesity
is a result of an overall unhealthier societal way of living.
It's not a conscious choice, really. But I don't think it is
genetic at all. The reason for this is because there is a trend
in obesity in our PETS too. Our Americanized way of life is responsible
for our obesity problems AND those of our 4-legged friends. I'm a pre-vet
student, so I see this a lot. I think a lot of the problem is overall
sedentary-ness. I think we look at thin people and think "Oh, they
are SO lucky, they can eat whatever they want and be super thin". How
do YOU know that they don't run 10 miles a day or something?
I get a lot of crap for that sort of thing because I am a thin person
now and I didn't have WLS so I can still eat like a fat person.
I'll admit it, I have a huge appetite. But I'm not fat because I exercise
a lot.
I think that choosing to be sedentary (or NOT choosing it, as is the case
for a lot
of obese people who put on weight because they couldn't exercise) is a main
cause of obesity.
I mean, I look at my mom, who is quite obese (not MO) and sometimes she'll
say "I should go
to Curves" but she doesn't ever go. She's tried losing weight by
dieting only. Doesn't work that
way. Once you deprive your body of nutrients, your body gets rid of
certain biochemical pathways
needed to break down those compounds. So when you add them back, you get
quite a reaction. To sum it all up,
I think everyone would probably be thin if we all got enough exercise and
quit the dieting.
— Brittany C.
April 9, 2003
Sure, just like I chose to be tall, and have large feet! When I filled out
my order form, I was in a bad mood, and just picked the most unpleasant
life I could imagine for myself . . .
Obviously, if I had CHOICE in everything, I'd be 5'8", blonde,
gorgeous, sexy, slim, have an IQ in excess of 210, and perfect health.
Instead, I have mobility issues, glucose tolerance issues, a family history
of obesity, a personal history of obesity (i've been fat since the day
after I was born!), and have been on meds for the last 8 years that have
put 60-80 pounds on me. [Besides, I'm NOT gorgeous, I'm too tall, my feet
are too big, and I'm nowhere *near* that intelligent, etc. (But this last
list I can live with.)]
— RWH G.
April 9, 2003
The nature/nurture question once again! For me, my obesity is 1/3 the
result of my genetics. My mother is MO and my father has weight isses as
well. My maternal Grandfather was MO and Grandma also had weight issues.
My paternal Grandparents were not MO, but my Grandfather was an alcoholic
(addictive behavior). My obesity is also 1/3 the result of my environment.
I was a very active child until I was molested by a family member, and
then I became depressed and withdrawn and no longer active. Then the
genetics began to kick in. Finally, my obesity is 1/3 the result of my
choices. Even after getting therapy for my issues, I continued to not be
active, over ate around my feelings rather than reaching out to others, and
used food to comfort myself. Eventually, when the osteo-arthritis and back
problems becgan, activity became too painful to do. Another person with
similar life circumstances but different genetics may have never become
overweight! And my sister, who was overweight as a teen but didn't have my
life expereince, has never been obese as an adult. It's a fine and complex
system that is impacted by many variables, each carrying its own weight,
depending on the person.
— rebalspirit
April 9, 2003
I would have to both agree and disagree with some of the posters. I think
half of it is genetics, and half is choice. I have hypothyroidism and pcod.
I didn't realy choose to have either of those, but yet I did choose to eat.
Would I have been mo if I didn't have those problems? I don't know. I do
know that I watch what goes into my mouth, and I do resistance training
2x/week and cardio 3x/week, and yet I'm still at 287. If I didn't watch
what I eat, and exersize and take my meds, I would be a lot bigger than I
am. You can choose an active lifestyle and not loose weight if you have
some of the genetic problems, but you can also gain weight as well for
being a couch potato. I do think that the excuse of genetics can be misused
please don't get me wrong about that, but I do think it plays more of a
role than a lot of people think. I also don't believe it should be a cop
out either. If that was the case, I would weigh 400 lbs and be in a mental
instution (our family has a history of mental illness).
— mellyhudel
April 10, 2003
Personally, I was happy at a size 16. Yeah, most people thought I was
fat...but I felt good so I didn't care. 20 lbs later and everything
started to fall apart. If my health weren't at risk, then I'd probably not
care how big I was. But I don't feel good...and I have to change.
— Renee B.
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