Question:
How am i going to emtionally change?

I am having a really hard time understanding that i will change alot after this surgery! My parents keep telling me that i have no idea whats in store for me. I have a hard time beliving them....i keep thinking that nothing is going to change...i will forver be alone and grow old. My surgery is 29 days away and i have been an emtional rollarcoaster! My sister is engaged and i just watch all the gifts and attention she gets (my sister is tall and thin) and i just see me there and i dont know how im gonna be after surgery! Can someone please help me?!?!    — sandrac131 (posted on November 6, 2002)

November 6, 2002
the only way i can explain how you'll change emotionally is for the better. I am starting for the first time in my life to have a little self confidence (almost too much) LOL I have not been on a date since i divorced over 2 years ago. I can't say anybody has asked yet, but when the time comes I'm more ready to deal with it. I have a long way to go in weight loss yet, but I feel better everyday about myself. If you'd like, feel free to email me privately...good luck...open rny 5-2-02 -97 1/2 pounds
   — candymom64

November 6, 2002
Sandra I know how you feel, you think everyone around you seem so happy and you want to feel that way too. After the surgery , you will feel that you have more energy, as the pounds come off you'll look and feel much better. You would get great joy seeing all the weight you have loss and all the new clothes choices you'll have. But first think about this,... This operation is for you... and until you like yourself, then you can't deal with anyone else. This operation is not a magic cure that will turn us to Princess Charma but it damn near close. I feel and look so good right now (My opinion) that I have been so choicey and snobby that I really don't think there a man out there who can handle me,lol But seriously, Take this time to think about other things that will make you feel good ie: get some fashion mags and pick out what you'll be wearing next year. Take this time to get prepared for surgery and go grocery shopping and buy some of the item you'll need once you leave the hospital. In other words don't sit around and be unhappy , try to relax... You are about to begin a new life.... May God bless you and your recovery.
   — Rebe W.

November 6, 2002
Before my surgery 2.5 years ago, I weighed 337 lbs and was miserable. I was unsure what would lay ahead, but it was worth it to me to be around for my daughter. After having had surgery, probably about three-five months after surgery, and after quite a bit of weight had been lost, I began to feel very embarrassed and vulnerable when other people would notice me. Then, within a few more months I realized that my weight was being used as a shield from others. It was very scary, and an eye opening experience to have gone through the differing stages of adapting to surgery. I bet you will find that you will change quite a bit, in all ways. I have, and I am certain that almost all others have as well.
   — twenc

November 6, 2002
Well I think alittle more of myself now and don't let people walk all over me. In some ways this is good and in other ways not.
   — Danmark

November 6, 2002
hiya. i too found that i was using my weight as a shield and eating as a way of dealing with things (as some ppl might drink or do drugs). i've become more outspoken, i won't stand for being treated poorly and i do feel more vulnerable. i went through a period where i got really angry when men noticed me because i knew that not long before they wouldn't have given me the time of day. that still irks me a bit but it also just makes me appreciate my husband so much more. he had a fear that i'd "get thin and leave him" (even tho i was thin when we met)so we had to deal with that. i see a therapist, have for years and will prolly do so for many years to come! it is great to have someone to bounce things off of and i tend to get so wrapped up in ME that i don't see things from others point of view. i stil deal with low self esteem and somedays see myself in a negative light but i remind myself that the surgery was on my body, not my brain! wls patients go through a LOT of emotional changes -- it's a pretty wild roller coaster ride sometimes -- and you may find that ppl that have only known you obese will not remain your friends once you lose weight. (especially if they are heavy). i HIGHLY recommend joining a wls support group - studies have shown that wls patients need at least 3 years support post op. you'll go through so many physical and emotional changes, it is really helpful to have others around you that have gone through it too. you have years of negative thoughts ingrained in your head and it's gonna take time to teach yourself to love yourself and be positive. feel free to email me anytime...{{hugs}} kate [email protected] open rny 6-14-01 pre op: 268lbs goal weight: 135lbs current: 126lbs
   — jkb

November 7, 2002
Your profile does not give us any clues to your age, and whether you have been heavy all your life or have experienced what it is like to be a normal weight before. I think if you have been a normal weight before, it is easier to adjust to losing alot of weight, and more difficult if you have never been a normal weight. Our bodies change so fast after surgery, yet there is no surgery for our heads, so it is a difficult adjustment for some. Many have used their weight as a shield from the world, an invisibility blanket to protect them, and once its gone, the exposure can be tough without the blanket to shield. If your young and unmarried, dating is a whole new scene. It is an emotional rollercoaster, but hopefully, for you it will be a positive one. It has been for me. It gave me back my self-esteem, my self-confidence, my marriage and my happiness. Not to mention self-respect, enormous empathy for the obese and how they are treated by "normal" weighted individuals, and most of all, my health and my future. I, too, have a thin sister (always been a size 4) and it has always hurt to be around her at family gatherings-while I love her to death, I just KNEW everyone was saying, "Poor Cindy, why can't she be more like her thin sister?" This year, I will enjoy Thanksgiving with my thin sister and not feel as if everyone is staring at me anymore. Great feeling and one that you will experience soon. Good luck
   — Cindy R.