Question:
i wonder what precent of people get a divorce after losing so much weight?

I have a few friends who lost over 100lbs and left their husbands also and ove read a few on here who have done the same anyone who can be honest and help me thank you    — Tammy B. (posted on June 30, 2002)

June 30, 2002
I am 15 months post op and have lost 131 pounds. My hubby and I are happier then ever. I think if your marridge is strong BEFORE surery it will be even stonger after, He loved me fat and he loves me thin!
   — colette W.

June 30, 2002
I AGREE IF YOU Have a STRONG MARRIAGE BEFORE WLS YOU WILL HAVE A STRONG MARRIAGE AFTERWARDS! I HAVE KNOWN A FEW PEOPLE WHO AFTER WLS HAVE GOTTON A DIVORCE, WELL ONLY MY THOUGHTS HERE, MAYBE NOT THE FACTS EVERYTIME BUT I THINK OVER WIEGHT PEOPLE STAY IN BAD RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE THEY DONT HAVE ANY CONFIDENCE IN THEM SELFS THEN WHEN THEY LOSE THE WEIGHT THEY START BELIEVEING IN THEM SELFS AND WANT OUT! SOMETIMES IT IS EASIER TO BE OVER WEIGHT AND KEEP TRYING TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP WORK THAN TO GET OUT AND START OVER! THEN AFTER YOUR THIN YOU THINK HAY I HAVE PUT UP WITH ENOUGH CRAP I DESERVE BETTER.....I DESERVE TO BE TREATED RIGHT! OK ONLY MY THOUGHTS!!!!
   — CYNDI B.

June 30, 2002
I had my WLS so I would be around to spend as long as I could with my husband and family. I guess when you go through such a dramatic change maybe something that was deep inside you comes out. I love my new self and my husband does too. He even went on a diet and has lost 30 pounds!! But the best thing is our sex life. I never realized all the interesting positions I was missing being so over weight!! I hope this answers your question. Good Luck.
   — Shannon L.

July 1, 2002
My experience: I lost 50 pounds at the time this happened. The emotional changes you go through sometimes play with your head, I told my husband I wanted to leave him. I didn't though. I just thought I did. Our marriage has been pretty stable but I was confused for a while after surgery. The loss of food and then the resurgance of self confidence played with my head and made me think I could do without him. Gladly I came ot my senses. Our sex life has improved. He's not able to keep his hands off of me. And I'm able to feel more confident in myself, enough so that I'm looking into going to nursing school. Sadly some marriages do end after wls. For many reasons. One could be the woman (or man) finally feels like they can do better. Or that they settled and now want something better. Some post WLS patients who lose enormous amounts of weight feel they want to sow the wild oats they didn't get to sow whent hey were heavy. That's a tad of what I'm feeling lately. But I'm handling it.
   — Renee V.

July 1, 2002
I am one of the ones who did divorce after WLS. A lot of it was because we didn't have a stable marriage pre-WLS. As I lost weight and became more confident, I realized that I didn't have to stay in a relationship that was emotionally unstable and abusive. Throughout the thirteen years that we were married, my husband would tell me that I was crazy and that I was the problem. I tried to leave him many times but for some reason I just kept staying there and taking it. One day (it was actually over several months) I realized that I didn't have to take it anymore. That I was a good, happy and healthy person. So I left and I have never been happier in my life. Do I think that WLS directly affected our divorce? I guess I do because I don't think I ever would have been brave enough to leave him if I had never had the surgery. And a P.S. here...after I left him, I found out he had been cheating on me with my overweight best friend for over three years! I lost 110 lbs from WLS but I like to say that when I left him, I truly lost 210 lbs of FAT. Hope this answer helps.
   — Candace S.

July 1, 2002
Okay...I might be thin but I still can't add! I mean to say in my last post that I had lost 310 lbs of fat!
   — Candace S.

July 1, 2002
I agree, that a strong marriage will last, a weak on will fail. Mine was weak, even though it had lasted 24 years! I filed for divorce, my husband was served papers two weeks ago today! I have thought about divorce many times in the past 6-7 years. (My husband is an alcoholic and failed twice to complete a very costly rehab program). I did not have the confidence in myself, the guts, whatever you want to call it, to actually do the deed! Divorce is very hard on both parties. He feels abandoned, says that I've taken away his life from him, etc. He goes from anger, to whining, to crying, to pleading, all the time praying on my emotions. <br> I have been seeing a therapist for 4 months and it has been very helpful. I have to do what is right for me and stand up for myself, I've always lacked confidence. I'm not looking for someone new to replace my husband, I have just found myself and like what I found!! Best of luck, no matter what path you take.
   — SDmovergal