Question:
This is going to sound dopey, but any advice on how not to cry...

Hi, my first appt with the surgeon is coming up this Monday. I am trying to think of anything and everything that I should, like I am sure all of you have also. :) There is one thing that really bugs me. I haven't had an "official" weight reading since December on a digital scale that actually goes over 350, and I am sure I have gained since then. I know this is going to sound stupid, but this last year, because of some medical problems, I have gained so rapidly it is really depressing. So from past expierence of being shocked and horrified I am worried when I get there and step on the scale I will be upset again and just cry or something. Normally I wouldn't really care, but I don't want the doctor to think I am emotionally unstable. Does anyone understand where I am coming from? Any advice, I know I should just prepare myself for the highest number I can imagine but I am afraid when I actually see it... well you know I will get upset. I am really on edge waiting... 2 months to see him and now to see what he says. If anyone would like to email me for any reason PLEASE feel free. I need support and advice. Thanks in advance!!!!    — Female C. (posted on June 27, 2002)

June 27, 2002
Hi there! I totally understand how you feel, believe me. The thing that got me "through" the scale reading was I just kept telling myself that it is okay because THAT is the reason I was there to see the doctor. I was doing something about that number on the scale and I was very proud of that. I also kept in mind that the numbers on that scale would soon be decreasing. I am 2 1/2 months post-op and down 60 pounds. I hope this helps a bit. Good luck to you and keep your chin up!
   — Dona R.

June 27, 2002
Run to your PCP office and tell the nurse, receptionist, etc. that you would like to use their scales to weight yourself prior to your appointment on Monday. My PCP's office always let me use their scales when I was dieting. Then you won't have any shock on Monday and you can cry over the weekend ---- I KNOW just how you feel!!! God Bless You, Nelly
   — Nell C.

June 27, 2002
Maybe putting it in perspective might help... Someone on this site posted that they were denied for insurance for the surgery. THAT would make me really emotional. The more you weigh, the more easily you will get approved. Which means you can start correcting the situation. Regarding the previous poster's suggestion to visit the PCP -- I would guess you don't have one that you frequent or you would know how much you weigh. In the event that I am wrong about that, call first and see how much their scale goes up to. Even my surgeon's scale doesn't go past 350 (how annoying). Finally, think about how you have handled and recovered from similar situations. I remember in junior high the first time my jeans didn't snap. My first trip to Lane Bryant. The humiliation of having to call my surgeon to tell him I failed at VBG (I actually made my husband call for me). These experiences define who we are -- compassionate people, but weary from the burden of being MO. How about setting up a reward structure for Monday. 350 - 375 -- a $20 splurge at the bookstore. 375 - 400 -- get your fingernails done. 400 - 425 - 3 new CDs (have you heard the "new" Enya CD - A Day Without Rain - very relaxing). 425 + - ALL of the above. Revise as needed, just make sure to prioritize so that a higher number gives you a better reward. This strategy may allow for enough of a distraction at weigh-in to hold your composure. Oh, and fear not that they will be shocked or dismayed at tears that escape. They see everything. I think I accidentally called my surgeon a "rat bastard" or something similar when he cut my incision open without novicane or warning (oops) and then followed up with telling him I don't like him. (He took it in stride... told me he would be broke if his job depended on being popular). And, when I lost 20 some pounds in two weeks after my VBG, I accidentally jumped off the scale and hugged a very shocked nurse. Tears are mild. Post back, let us know how you did!
   — Karen F.

June 27, 2002
Hi, I went to the doctor for years and I would either refuse to be weighed, or when I was weighed I would have my back to the number so I couldn't see it. I did NOT want to know my weight. I knew it would just depress me and I already knew I was FAT! The nurses were always understanding and respectful. Incidentally, I was very nervous when starting this process and was seeking approval that my weight wouldn't show up in my chart because I refused to be weighed so much!! Open rny 6-26-02 -93#.
   — blank first name B.

June 27, 2002
I felt like you when I would go to the doctor before I had surgery. But for some reason, I never felt this when I went for my first appointment at th surgeons' office. I think for me it was knowing that I was actually doing something proactive to help the situation instead of continuing on the destructive path I was on. I felt proud because I knew in a few months I was going to be weighing on those same scales pounds lighter. I looked at that moment as being my first step in the right direction. I was not there for diet pills, a new diet or any other reason than to get approved, lose the weight and start living my life outside the shell I had built around me. Look at it as the first step to a new and beautiful body. Don't even think about the #'s themselves, think about that it will be the last time you ever weight that much! Good Luck and email me if you need some one to talk to~ Candi
   — Candi B.

June 27, 2002
I can relate to how you're feeling. My PCP doesn't have a scale that will weigh me accurately. When I went to my appointment with my surgeon, I had no idea just how much I actually weighed. The last time I was weighed on a digital scale was 2 years ago. Imagine my surprise when I had gained about 60 pounds. My initial reaction was to cry... but I used some breathing techniques that a friend of mine taught me. If you breathe real deep in through your nose and then out your mouth, it really helps. Usually when I do that, I can keep the tears from flowing. I also looked at it like "Well, it's just another 60lbs that I'm going to lose. That's why I am here in the first place".
   — Tanya B.

June 27, 2002
Hi, before you get too upset please remember that the surgeons and their staff are so much more used to dealing with the obese. I would hope that all weight loss surgeons' offices are not only used to dealing with us, but that they are more sensitive and compassionate (I know mine is). I quit smoking 2-1/2 months ago, and I swear I thought for sure I must have gained at least 10 or 15lbs since my initial consultation. I've been bloated a lot lately, lack of period, hot weather, stress...you name it. Imagine my surprise when I got on the scale today for my 2nd surgical appointment and was only 1/2 pound heavier! All that stressing out for nothing! So, be kind to yourself, know that you are on the right path, and go in to that appointment with a smile. Good Luck - Anna
   — Anna L.

June 28, 2002
I know this is not real good advice but I have found that if I drink water right when I am about to cry the tears are kept at bay. I don't know what it is about drinking but I cannot cry at the same time. Sounds a little funny but try it, it might work.
   — Kendra A.