Question:
How did everyone tell their boss/co-workers?
I'm just curious...I'm finally getting the ball rolling and I'm wondering how everyone told their boss/co-workers about the surgery. The only people I've told is my parents, therapist and one close friend. I've only been at my job for 3 months...I'm hoping that'll I'll be scheduled for surgery by at least the end of 2002. For time off...did you tell your boss the truth? My parents just said I should say I'm having abdominal surgery and not go into much more detail. Did anyone get at least partially compensated for the time they missed from work? I have one week vacation I could use but I know you need at least 2 weeks to recover. I guess I just don't know how to approach the subject. Any advise would be greatly appreciated :) — mzcath (posted on June 8, 2002)
June 8, 2002
Cathy, I was fortunate that my boss is MO too and I had talked to her about
the possibility of doing this surgery before so she was supportive. I only
told a few close friends at work but most of my colleagues I just said that
I was having my gallbladder out - which wasn't a lie because I did have it
out at the same time. I went on short term disability so I got fully paid
while I was out but I think you usually need to be there 1 year to get
that. Best of luck to you. Karen
— Karen Q.
June 8, 2002
I was very lucky at my place of work. We are all very close and all of my
co-workers have been through every step of this journey with me - from
initial appointment to surgery to recovery. One of my co-workers even sat
with my husband while I was in surgery. My boss weighs 100 dripping wet,
so it was kind of funny talking to her about it because she tries to be
understanding, but really has no clue. I felt that being honest with
everyone in my life has helped with the healing process. Everyone is very
supportive. I went back to work after being off for four weeks and I am
glad I told everyone what I did because otherwise it would seem kind of
silly when they are eating donuts and coffee and I'm munching on a slice of
cheese or ham to get my protein! I think I would have had to tell them
sometime! LOL Also, I had 45 sick days accrued, so I can't relate to the
pay issue. Sorry! Good luck with everything - feel free to email me if
you have any questions! Open RNY 4/29/02 -32 lbs.
— stacey L.
June 8, 2002
I didn't want anyone from work to know I had the surgery so I said I had a
hernia repair, which I actually did. Since I have lost weight, when people
ask how I did it, I tell them small meals, lots of protein, minimal sugar,
and lots of water. Its your business who you tell. Personally, I like to
keep work and home life separate. As for time off, I needed a full month
or more, but others go back to work in a week or two-depends on how you
recover. Lap recovers quicker than open.
— Cindy R.
June 8, 2002
I was sooo lucky, I have a great boss. I told her my plans and she gave me
a hug and said she was so happy for me. I also work for a huge company that
believes employees need to be allowed to take control of their health. So
everyone has been great! I am only pre-op but the support here has made me
so happy. I will receive full pay for weeks 1-4 and if I am out longer it
will be 70% compensation. Good Luck!
— Stephanie B.
June 8, 2002
I have told alot of people at work and everyone is so supportive. In my
office alone I will be the 5th person having WLS within a year. I work for
a huge company and they are totally supportive. I will not lose any pay
and it will be covered by FMLA and disability. Even though I will have a
disabilty on my attendance record and it takes 3 years to drop it is worth
it. I hope all is well with yours!!!
— Jenna M.
June 8, 2002
I told my boss after only be in that position for 1 month unfortunately. I
still work for the same company, but I got a promotion in early January,
started first of February and found out about 2 weeks later that I had a
March 22nd surgery date. Told him it was lousy timing, but I had it in the
works for about 9 months and it finally came through. I work for a company
that believes in privacy so he told me I didn't have to tell him what kind
of surgery I was having (HR only needs to know for FMLA approval). I told
him I wanted him to understand why it was important for me to do it now.
Told him to please keep it to himself. Only other people I told was
another girl from high school that works there with me and my boss from my
previous position. I didn't tell any of my lunch buddies that I was even
going out on medical leave. I told my one friend there to tell them I had
emergency gall bladder surgery and when I came back, that's what I have
told others. Not a complete lie because they did take that out as well.
Anyhow, when I returned, I told the other 3 people in my division just in
case something happened at work, they would know what to tell the EMTs. I
was out for 2 weeks and got paid full pay for one and 1/2 for any others I
would be out. We get one full week's pay for every year we've been there
and I was just under 2 years working there. I am glad I've not told anyone
because I just feel everyone would be asking me how much I have lost too
often and when I'm not losing fast enough, it's already frustrating without
constantly being reminded. I agree wholeheartedly with your parents.
There are many extended family members that don't know including my natural
mother.
— Tparker
June 8, 2002
I told my immediate supervisor that I was going in for some surgery and
that I would be out for 6 weeks. I am a part-time employee so I am not
eligible for any benefits. I did tell a few colleagues about the surgery as
they would be seeing what I was eating for lunch every day. They have been
great and very supportive/ My supervisor never asked and I never
volunteered any info. I'm not embarrassed by telling the story, but it is
such a long explanation that I only reserve it for those who I really know
well and who might be interested. For everyone else, I simply state that
yep, I'm losing weight and that yep, it's diet and exercise. I figured word
is leaking out since it is human nature to "gossip" about your
colleagues, but I don't care who knows. If everyone hears through the
grapevine, maybe someone else will have the surgery. I just don't feel like
retelling my experience all day every day at work...and I'm not paid to do
that either!
— Kim M.
June 8, 2002
Hi Cathy. I was going to email you this, but figured I would put it here.
I told my co-workers and my boss the truth. I'm happy with my decision so
I really don't care what they think. Actually everyone has been really
supportive. My boss is allowing me to take sick days and then I will take
office days at home (I'm in sales so I can work at home). He isnt even
making me take vacation days and I dont have to tell HUman Resources at
all. I guess it depends on how understanding your superviser is. Good
luck with that!
— emilyfink
June 8, 2002
I tell anyone who wants to listen or anyone who ask - I figure if I take
the element of surprise away from them, people won't be so nosy. When I
get negative feedback, I know that it's just their opinion and they have
their right to it. I want the surgery to get my life back and I leave it
at that. How can they argue with it? :)
— Lisa J.
June 8, 2002
I was so proud of my decision to take charge of my life and my weight, I
gladly shared the truth about my surgery with my boss. She was very
supportive, as were all of my co-workers. In fact, instead of sending
flowers to the hospital, they bought me 200.00 in gift certificates to the
mall for new clothes! I was very fortunate to have the support of so many
wonderful people. I had about 12 weeks of time saved at work, so
compensation wasn't a big issue for me. I have a desk job, so I was able
to return in 2 weeks with no problem. Probably could have gone back in 1
week, but I "milked" it a little bit. Best of luck to you - C.
— Carmen S.
June 8, 2002
I've worked at my office for 8 years, so it's a very close-knit family. I
was very private about my decision to research and plan for this surgery.
I did confide in my office manager, who helped deal with my bosses about
maybe being off for some time due to surgery. She did not have my
permission to explain what kind of surgery I was goingto have. My thoughts
were that if my insurance didn't cover the surgery, then I wasn't going to
have it and it was no one's business at that point. But, I did owe it to
my bosses to let them know I would be out so they could schedule
appropriately. After meeting all pre-surgery requirements, I rec'd
insurance approval and scheduled a surgery date. I called in the office
manager and my best friend at work and told them I was having the surgery
and that that was my last day for 2-3 weeks (my office mgr knew of this
date, but didn't know whether I had rec'd aproval). I gave them permission
to explain to everyone about my absence - where I was and what I was doing.
I felt that this way, the buzz around the office would be over by the time
I returned. There are about 25 people in my office and we're all pretty
close-knit. There were some who were upset that I didn't tell them. But,
my best friend at work has a very strong personality and she explained that
it was my personal business and that if they didn't have anything positive
to say to me about it, then they should keep their mouth shut. Good
friends and good that way. :) It turned out that for the atmosphere at my
job, I took the right route. The buzz was over when I returned and
everyone was just glad I was doing well. They all continue to be
supportive.
As the weight came off my bosses (who are VERY sensitive to making sure
they don't say the wrong things EVER because they do labor and employment
law, so they know the possible ramifications of saying anything to any
woman at work about her appearance) did not comment on my progress to me.
NADDA, NOTHING. My office manager and I would talk about the weight loss
process often, as she had lost 100 pounds on a liquid diet and has kept it
off. She said the partners would ask her pretty often how I was doing and
they would comment to HER that I was looking great. I told her it was MORE
weird for them not to say anything because it was OBVIOUS that I was losing
weight. I told her that having worked for them for so long, that it was
like my brothers not commenting on how I was looking. She told them of my
comment and soon after they, in their own time, very tactfully starting
asking periodically how I was feeling and sometimes will say that they
think I look nice or something. It's cute because I know they're
uncomfortable about it, but they do care. I hope this helps.
— Ocean1star
June 8, 2002
I told everybody!! I was very excited and nervous about the surgery. Well
they were all very supportive. I am now 5months post op and have had at
least 20 different people compliment me on how good I look and take an
interest in my progress. I did not want the rumor mill start and say I had
some horrible diease. I also have talked to a woman at work and I think she
may get WLS. Just have a frank discussion with boss, but remember if you
don't want to contact your HR person and they will take care of it all.
Good Luck
— Robert L.
June 9, 2002
Like some of the other posts, I have a very close field office & I told
EVERYONE...I was very excited & nervous and wanted all the support I
could find. As a matter of fact I told everyone at my State Office
(headquarters too) and come to find out....One of the Administration
Assistant's sister had the same surgery & she hooked me up with her at
our conference last year!!! I do NOT regret telling anyone! I am one year
post op...down 120 pounds and everyone calls on a regular basis and asks
how I am doing...the support has been WONDERFUL!! Good Luck!
— chance2lv
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