Question:
All my co workers talk about is dieting, sometimes I feel guilty because I'm having

wls and I have not and will not tell anyone from work, anyone else have similar feelings?    — Lisa W. (posted on May 6, 2002)


May 6, 2002
Oh I know exactly how you feel. I haven't told anyone (except online) out side my family and my boyfriend that I'm doing this. I sit with my friends and thay talk about dieting and how they are so hungry all the time and going to the gym everyday at the crack of dawn.... I feel guilty and I just sit there and listen. I'd tell them about WLS, but most of them wouldn't qualify.
   — Toni C.

May 6, 2002
I told everybody in my neighborhood that I was having the surgery. I feel no shame and you just have to let people be where they are...Maybe your co-workers never heard of the surgery and maybe you could enlighten them on the subject. Even if they dont wont to do it, they might know someone whose life could be saved through the wls. You might just save a life? But always do what is comfortable to your spirit. Good luck
   — Karen M.

May 6, 2002
I have told everyone about my WLS. Reason 1 -- If someone who is MO thinks they can succede from your example of just "dieting" and fails (which they will) thet will become frusterated and depressed. Reason 2 -- When you succeed you will want to tell everyone how wonderful you feel. I don't want to lie about what I have done. Yes omitting the truth is a lie. Reason 3-- I don't want rumors about me spreading around the office like Does he have cancer or aids? But this is a descision we all make for ourselves. --Good luck
   — Robert L.

May 6, 2002
Don't feel bad. No one in my family, outside of my Husband to be knows that I had the surgery either. I didn't tell co-workers because they are way too nosey, and whenever they did talk about dieting, because either they turned it into a competition, jealousy, or they weren't serious enough. They'd say something like, "I need to go on a diet", and then that day for lunch they'd have chocolate cake. So to me, they weren't worthy of knowig. Plus Everyone wants to know your business, and tell you what's right and what's wrong, but you have to realize that you've made this decision for you and your health, so it doesn't matter what they say or think, or if they know or not, It's none of their business. Now my family on the other hand, I haven't told any of them because they are so judgemental. They are the ones who give comments like, "oh, she had to take the easy way out" I feel guilty sometimes about that because I love my family, and I wish I could share this with them, and sometimes, darn it, I just want someone to complain to about some of the things we go through, but I have to say I really don't feel they are educated enough about the surgery to look at it in a positive way. I made this decision so that I can be healthier, live longer, and enjoy life to the fullest, and quite frankly if there's anything negative to be said about me bettering myself, I don't want to hear it. Now that may seem selfish, or worthy of guilt, but I do have to very wonderful friends who also went through the surgery with me,and on the same date, and we get together often, and talk about it. But other than this site, I don't really talk about it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not telling anyone, as long as your doctor's know in case of emergency. This is the only way I feel I will live a normal life. Keep your head up, and keep up the good work, and if you are confident in your decision to have the surgery, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This surgery was the biggest, and best decision of my life, and I'll never regret having it done.
   — tjmoore

May 6, 2002
Hi. I am going through the exact same thing. My boss and another co-worker are dieting and are constantly talking about it. My boss has even gone so far as to say that she noticed I am bigger than I was a year ago. She says things around me all of the time and I get the feeling she is trying to make me think that what is working for her will work for me if I would only try. I have not told her about pursuing this surgery because she has said negative things about it in the past. I don't feel the least bit guilty because I have already tried dieting a million times over. Loosing over a hundred pounds is not even close to the meesly 20 or 30 she needs to loose. When you get to feeling this way try to think of how envious all of them will be when they start to see you shedding those pounds after surgery. Then if you feel comfortable to tell them about wls, go ahead. If not, then tell them you have changed your eating habits and let them wonder why it worked so well for you and not for them!! For now, I try to just ignore all of the little comments or I will agree with them and change the subject. What they don't know won't hurt them. Try to remind yourself that while dieting may be the best thing for them, you too, are doing the best thing for you!!! Good luck and best wishes
   — Karen W.

May 6, 2002
I have told most of my co-workers about the surgery. I was not going to tell them, but I think it is important to have as much support as possible so that you can be 100% successful. I was afraid someone would say, "You are taking the easy way out...", but that is not true. WLS is not easy!! WLS is a major surgery, and it is one of the biggest changes you could ever make. You will be surprised how supportive your co-workers will be. This is not something you can do unnoticed or without support from others. You should be proud that you are able to do something for you and your health. Some of them may be jealous, because you are going to look "Hot", but for the most part you are going to find support in your friends. They are going to be the ones to help you reach your goals. Think about it we spend more time with our co-workers than we do our own families. Good luck.
   — Cindy M.

May 6, 2002
Its no ones business what you are having done but you may have to reveal some things to your employment. Here we have a small office so i had no choice. I heard things like "Thats too radical for me and taking the easy way out" but i had already made up my mind only 3 people get a vote in my life...God, Me, and Husband. I also did council with my pastor...all were for it...so THATS ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME!!! Make up your mind you are RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU AND NO ONE ELSE!!! If they ask later you can say..oh i tried dieting with no success so i had surgery..but hey..if diets work for you GO FOR IT. Good luck
   — Jackiis

May 6, 2002
You'll beat them to your goal! If you're not comfortable talking to co-workers about your surgery, then don't. Once you start losing the weight, then talk. Make em jealous!
   — dolphins94

May 6, 2002
Lisa, I told everyone but I certainly understand why you wouldn't. You are not taking the easy road. You still need to change eating habits,exercise and everything else to diet! I wouldn't say anything but just the subtle changes will speak volumes. When asked just tell them "Oh, I decided I needed to make some changes. I'm trying to change/watch what I eat and exercise. Hey, maybe watching you loose will motivate them to actually diet. They won't get the same results buy they don't need to know. You're not lying-you are changing/watching what you eat and you will be exercising! Best of luck on this wonderful journey.
   — Linda M.

May 6, 2002
At first I didn't want ANYONE at work to know what type of surgery I was having. But people gossip and even if I had only told ONE person I knew it would get around (and it did). Now, 6 months since my surgery, I'm glad people know about it. It was kind of tough at first but after a month of being back at work, people forget about it. I had a LOT of people tell me the surgery was too radical and that I should just diet and I was taking the easy way out. Well that's a bunch of CRAP!!! I have had to completely change my diet for the REST OF MY LIFE!! How many people can say that they can do that?? Very few. This was NOT an easy decision. When you've been overweight all your life, you want to just live a "normal" life. The majority of people already get to do that. I never had that opportunity. Now I do. Don't let anyone tell you this is easy. I guarantee they probably couldn't go through the changes that you'll be making for the rest of your life.
   — Patty H.

May 6, 2002
I told people at my work before I had surgery and had a lot of positive responses from people who had friends or family who had gone through WLS. If you aren't going to tell them before, tell them it is personal and you don't want to talk about it. At least don't lie about only having a hernia, bowel obstruction or so forth. Within two months, the weight will be dropping off so fast that most people will know you aren't loosing from just diet. Perhaps then you will feel more comfortable about talking about it. If you lie about it before hand, it will only make you look bad. If you are open about your WLS, maybe you help somebody else in the long run too. My wife's coworker had WLS almost 2 years ago and was very open and honest about it all. After my wife and I saw the success she was experiencing, we started looking into it and now my wife is 1 yr post-op down 102 lbs, and I am 9 weeks out down over 60 lbs. But don't feel guilty about having WLS. You are making a decision to improve your health and lifestyle. If you had some other problem, and surgery were the best solution, would you feel guilty. Good luck.
   — Dell H.




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