Question:
how do you stop

people from giving unwanted diet advice. I just started a new job 3 weeks ago. I don't mind talking to people about my wls because it may be able to help people directly or indirectly. I don't blur out the info but I can usually work it in to a conversation. There is this one woman who feel the need to offer advice as to what I should, can and can not eat. I have already went off on one former co worker about the same subject. I told her when she becomes my pcp or surgeon, let me know. That nipped it in the bud as far as talking about diets. If I have to I will show my a** and get ugly. But I want to tell her in a diplomatic way to mind her own beeswax about the diet issues. Any suggestions?    — Jan M. (posted on April 25, 2002)

April 25, 2002
First, I know how frustrating it can be for people to obsess with us after we have had WLS. But I think that a lot of the time they are just wanting us to succeed and give advice that isn't wanted and most of the time isn't accurate to our situation. I think the most effective way to handle those do-gooders is to tell them that you appriciate their concern for you, but that you are under a doctor's care and are doing what HE has instructed you to do. This most always gets them to back right off.
   — livnliter

April 25, 2002
I am almost 5 months post-op and there is one lady at my office who I named the "food police". For about 2 months after my surgery, she would question me everytime she saw me eat anything. I often eat jerky or nuts or sunflower seeds at my desk for snacks and everythime she passed by she would ask what I was eating and if I was supposed to. I would tell her nicely that I was following my doctor's orders. She finally gave up and hasn't said anything for some time now. Actually, and I know it's hard, but the best thing to do is tell them you are following orders and then ignore them
   — Patty_Butler

April 25, 2002
Sometimes my husband used to do this -- giving me unsolicited diet advice. I would nip each conversation in the bud by saying, "Well, that may be a good idea ... but I'm just going to be safe and stick with my doctor's advice. Know what I mean?"
   — Terissa R.

April 26, 2002
I think I get this a lot too. Sometimes I will be eating and someone will say "wow that's a lot of food" or "that's more food than I thought you were allowed to have." I am already paranoid enough about stretching out my pouch! Mind you, someone said "wow that's a lot of food" when I was eating about 1/4 cup of grilled vegetables, so I didn't take it too seriously. But people expect me to be able to eat one bite of something and be full (I wish!) Last night a fellow nurse said "Nichole, you are always eating! Everytime I look at you...you are eating something" Now I don't think that is the best thing to say to an obese person who recently had weight loss surgery. I work 12 hour shifts and usually eat twice during my shift. Thankfully another nurse was in the break room and said "She is obviously doing something right because she has lost 86 pounds." I guess I have no advice for you though, I just wanted to vent too. =)
   — Nichole B.

April 26, 2002
Jan, I have the opposite problem. I chose not to tell anyone but my dh, daughters and my best friend. Now, 85 lbs. gone and NO one but these people sees or mentions the weight loss. I realize the reason for this is the many times I have lost and regained in the past make people think it is just one more trip on the roller coaster. But, we are both reaping what we sowed. You said you find a way to work your WLS into conversations. Could it be people are tired of hearing about it? Please, this is not meant to be mean or offensive, just another possibility.
   — grammie5