Question:
I am 1 month pre-op and I have been crying at EVERYTHING!!!

I even cried because Santa came into the store where I work. My Dad is also sick w/cancer, but I feel pretty strong about that, although I do tear up when the girls at work ask how's your Dad... I feel I am just an emotional wreck! I am a strong person, always have been, but now I cry at stupid commercials, or just driving down the road I get veclempt. I AM PRE-OP!!! This isen't suppose to happen until Post-op!! I hope this will pass...or will it just get worse? Thanks Ruth    — Ruth S. (posted on December 28, 2001)

December 27, 2001
I think this is pretty normal. You are going through a stressful time with an impending major surgery that, while medically necessary, is something that YOU chose to do. I think it is normal and healthy to have a period of grieving for ourselves and for the life we are leaving behind. Just don't watch sappy movies and duck for the bathroom when you feel the waterworks starting. You will probably be up and down for the first couple of months after surgery, too, because your hormones may be out of whack. Good luck on your surgery. Soon you will be like me: crying because you can't believe it is your reflection in the mirror!
   — ctyst

December 27, 2001
Ruth, what you are feeling is perfectly normal and natural. When my mother was dying of cancer, and I was staying with her to help her, I was an emotional timebomb, I never knew quite what was going to be my response, tears, anger, numbness, all of the above. So, you're not alone. Also, the surgery is a tremendous stress until it happens, and even then, there are emotional pressures that we can only guess at. I have been working with a therapist for some 7 years without a pause, and still have issues from time to time. Also remember that ALL EMOTIONS ARE EQUALLY VALID. They are emotions, and everyone is entitled to have them. And that means you, too. Remember that everyone on this site is with you, and is pulling for your success, just as they are for mine. If you need anything further, e-mail me at [email protected], and try every now and again to keep smilin'. Margie B
   — Marjorie B.

December 28, 2001
Ruth, I know what your going thru. When my mom was sick w/cancer I felt I needed to be strong for her and others, and not let them see how emotional I was about it. Actually keeping it gated inside made me MORE of an emotional wreck. Its okay to cry, its okay to try to be strong too. The pendulum of emotions will swing heavily when your stressed, and with your surgery coming up soon. Just know that people won't think less of you for being vulnerable at a time like this. Being strong is great, but being able open yourself up to others is even greater! I have learned more about myself in the past year than any other time in my life. You will too. We love you Ruth, and are here for you.
   — rachelgraham

December 28, 2001
Ruth, all that crying is a big flashing red sign of depression. I know, I went through the same thing right before surgery. My mom was dying and I had been fighting to have this surgery for a year. I was fortunate enough to have it caught during my psych exam for wls. I was put on antidepressant ( celexa ) and my black clouds lifted. It was sooooo nice to beable to prepare for surgery. My mom died 3 weeks after my wls. I don't know how I would have handled it if I hadn't been on antidepressants and seeing a counselor. I used to think my depression was just situational and avoided the thought of medication and counseling but know I know what a big improvement I have gone through and don't want to stop the progress. Don't be afraid to ask for help. They now have antidepressants available that won't zone you out. I lucked out and found a counselor that I just LOVE, I call her my security blanket. At this point I could probably do fine without her but I like her keeping me focused.Call your pcp today. If you have mental health benefits they can refer you to a psychiatrist or your pcp might start you on meds until you can get in to see a counselor/psychologist.(counselors and psychologists can't prescribe medications)
   — Helen B.

December 28, 2001
Ruth- I completely feel for you! These are the exact same signs of depression I have had. I would not want to go to work, cry when my husband would leave for work and be a wreck watching a talk show about retarded teens. It is definately depression. I too am on celexa and it has been a God-send. The clouds are lifting. I am still preop and have also noticed these symptoms creeping up again. I think now that I am resolved to having the surgery, it makes me hate my present self even more! I suggest you get help from your PCP or therpist. The medication is out there and it is for good. Especially in light of all your hard times it can help you. Good luck with everything and don't lose hope. You are wonderful now and will be healthy and wonderful post-op!
   — emilyfink