Question:
My sex drive is out of control, hubby's isn't....

I'm 8 months post op, loss of 160 pounds so far, was 370. I'm 27 years old and my sex drive has gone through the roof, but my hubby isn't interested anymore. It's not like he didn't love me or find me attractive before my surgery, I've got lots more attitude than before also... anyone else having this problem? Any ideas for me? Thanks!    — Christina L. (posted on August 15, 2002)

August 15, 2002
Hi Christina & congrats on the awesome weight loss. I'm 33 & recently lost 96lbs & I know where you are coming from with the sex drive being in full throttle! I am always horny! My poor hubby is always on the road & the minute he gets home I am jumping him! lol He's usually tired but always willing to please. Maybe if you try something new or tell him that it's still you just a different package he'll oblige your wishes. Some guys like to be the center of attention with their lady, show him some extra TLC & maybe that'll work. Good luck, if all else fails...buy some toys for yourself! lol ~ Debbie
   — Deborah F.

August 15, 2002
Heavy sigh...I wish this was my case...I have the opposite problem...I could care less for sex and he wants it all the time. I do know why I dont want it...it is a personal thing..has nothing to do with my own self image...kind of complicated. But my point is this that anyone who doesn't want sex has a specific reason for not wanting it...you've gotta try to figure out what that is and work on it. Communication is the key.
   — SARose61

August 15, 2002
I too am the opposite, I NEVER want it, have no desire at all, and could care less. I was a sexaholic before I had surgery (and he never wanted it) so this is crazy to me. It has caused alot of tension in my marriage and I wish I knew how to fix it but my doctor (and hubby) has tried everything to no avail.
   — Lynda T.

August 16, 2002
Most of the times your libido is controlled by hormones (guys too). Hormones are affected MAJORLY by WLS and other surgeries! So you miss your period, you get acne, you're emotional- YOU NAME IT! I should know, because I have elevated testosterone (PCOS- blah blah blah)... and I am always horny. So much, that I am sick of myself- as all I think about is guys. Still, I figure this is only a fraction of what it's like to think as a man- now that is a scary thought! Anyhow, a simple visit to your Doctor to check your hormone levels may positively affect you- they may be able to get you "normal". On the other spectrum- lots of obese men have more estrogen, and that lowers their drive too. Depression also causes the sex drive to fluctuate- I feel you should not take this as the "SOP" of your relationship and see a Doctor.
   — Karen R.

August 16, 2002
I completely identify. I had a high libido pre-op. Post-op, it has been ravenous. MY GYN said that this is quite common when a large amount of weight is being lost, as estrogen is released in the fat cells, so that as the weight stabilizes closer to goal, my sex drive should become more like it had been. Like Karen, I also have diagnosed PCOS. I also have more interest than my husband, but he is very cuddly, affectionate, etc. so we handle it. I'd suggest talking with your PCP or GYN to check your hormone levels...and big hugs.
   — CaseyinLA

August 20, 2002
Same here. I'm 7 months almost and find that I'm randier than usual. Only trouble is that I haven't got a partner.
   — Gremlin Q.